I am in the rain,
but not drenched.
The wind is no more imposing
its undetermined rhythm on me.
I need no introduction but yet
feel that i should make one.
I used to watch, observe and analyse
but the feeling of being watched, observed
and analysed is so strong...
I don't feel the mystical beats
of my blood pump; not even the
freezingly disturbed force
of my mind.
Over me, are grey clouds
self-mutilating, interacting
as if consciously with me.
I can hear Energy now;
MY Energy, diffusing into
the medium i am.
Something is looming.
It declares to be the cipher.
Long way to go it says...
Author notes
don't worry about them; they are in good hands..
Written March 6th, 2006
A contest entry
- Give me your best for 2000 points by Hadji Murad.
1887 points, ended December 7, 2006, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options Contest. by Suicide King.
600 points, ended February 10, 2007, 45 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Congestion of Options- Ignite the Muse by FunnelWaxFate.
1000 points, ended June 22, 2007, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 4:44 - a n y t h i n g by the chase.
900 points, ended October 26, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Holiday Contest of Love & Hate by Ms Raneika.
1200 points, ended January 7, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Want The Best of Pre Writes by theredcatjazzoflove.
700 points, ended November 25, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Reality vs. Illusions by Suicide Hotline.
700 points, ended December 28, 2008, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymes and free verse by misticmoonlite.
850 points, ended May 24, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - First Poem I Ever Wrote on AP by PerVirtuous.
900 points, ended August 23, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites ;] by Kathraina.
675 points, ended October 20, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Wow. I can't really explain it, but something here really draws me in.
Brilliant job with this write, there is an understated power here!
bravo and thank you for entering
♥ kate -
read it and re read it like the take on this piece, thank you for this entry
good luck
Linda
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thanks for your entry
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deeply penned here i think you did a very great excellent job with your right here and the start was very impressive good luck to you in the contest
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This was written well and I enjoyed reading this
Good luck!
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I loved your choice of writing and the format of your words ...the hard grudge of your poem leaked over into my poetic juice... thanks for entering!
Much Love, Raneika
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Congrats on the honorable mention trophy. This was indeed moving. I found it to be full of much emotion and sincerity. your briliant word choice made it that much more dramatic. I am enjoying my stay here at your page.
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Ah, why does rain always bring with it the force of energy we pick up on? And why are some of your "I"'s capitalized, and some not?
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Hi, rain does not bring that energy along. Its only a conversion from corporal energy to its pure state ( interprete 'pure' is up to you!)
My'I"s are like that to show when 'I' am sure of what 'I' am visually interpreting.
Thanks for asking!
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Analyzed is spelled with a "z." The third line should be 'The wind is no LONGER imposing.' The way you have it is grammatically incorrect.
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hi
Thanks, i will correct it the " no longer" but for "analyzed", i don't agree! In English (U.K), we write it as analysed.
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Very deep, gripping, and interesting write. This poem is quite looming, dark, and I find, personally, also, is very relatable- a state of mind of such reception, feeling, and yet, no thought process, no real understanding, a state of the soul, in a way…if that makes sense? A sort of spindling whirl of confusion, a floating, sort of majestic, faraway feeling seems to encompass this piece. This masterful write, a very dark, gloomy write, is quite vivid in imagery and rich in skillful, eloquent language. A very clever write, written expertly. I absolutely adored the last stanza. The message of this poem is so relatable. It has a real spiritual, sort of pensive and ponderous ambience, a moment where one stops to relate over one’s options, in a way. A marvelous write, it certainly has altered my perceptions and left me thinking all over the place, my thoughts are all swirling and marinating over this fantastic thrill of a write. Very well done!!!
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thank you very much. I appreciate your comments! I was thinking of how to describe us, "as energy", when we shall all die and the contact with some unknown but yet familiar more powerful"energy"...
I can't myself explain this clearly, am sorry, but I hope u got a holistic view of the situation.. -
There is great mystery written here but as I have witnessed so are most religious beliefs and traditions. I am not a person who is influenced heavily by religion but I know spirituality when I see, and this poem has spirit.
Good luck in the contest.
AN
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Hmm. I like this. It's very intriguing. I had to read it multiple times, and I'm still not quite sure I fully understand. I'd like to know, if you don't mind sharing, inspired you.
I love your imagery. It creates such a beautiful surreal feel. One that mimics the idea of any godly figure. The fact that they are there, but you'll only see them if you believe enough to look.
Excellently written.
Thanks for entering and best of luck!
*twilight* -
wow!this is awesome....can i ask who it was to?lol this was really great ur very talented and thakns 4 entering!~Naty
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hey thanks a lot! It's quite encouraging to hear this, really.
Thanks again! -
wow, i am in the rain though i am not wet....sounds like something i would say. i love it.
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hmm interesting.. I'm not quite sure what category this goes into. Do you think you can let me know? Good luck and thanks for entering my contest.
God bless,
~Spring Rain -
He DID NOT KNEW THAT HE WAS DEAD...
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Life is like the chords of a guitar & forms part of the great repertoire of God's mightyness..
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