The pit of hearts seems to know no end,
Endlessly they fall.
bloody, beaten hearts soar in search of closure,
Through this dark forsaken hall.
Desperate, dying, and dependent,
Are these suffering hearts.
Will they ever heal as whole again?
We'll never know until they start.
Step by step, Day by day,
These hearts will no longer break and bend.
The darkness soon shall fade away,
Wounds shall close, pain will end.
Author notes
Written December 23rd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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i wonder about this everyday. my heart seems so broken and vulnerable, you described it perfectly. thank you!
Scars of life911
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Loved it...
I have read a few of your writes now, stumbled onto your page by accident, but soooooooo glad I did.... I love your play with words and the emotion hidden, yet staring you in the face...
Keep your pen flowing with ink that never fade
illusion
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Just lovely Such words of hope for sadness...
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Thanks! This one is actually under construction. It a lot of work.
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Well, it's very nice! The imagery is excellent, the meaning is powerful, and words of empowerment.. I like that I think the only thing would be the flow.. is that what you are trying to get down? Make it read a little smoother?
It's going to be shiny when you're done! -
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Yep! That's exactly it. The flow needs to smoothed out, and a few things need to be changed. I just need to get around to revising it.
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excellent...
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u r so good
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I'm sorry, I thought it said independent.
Well, I love those lines anyway. -
Desperate, dying, and dependent,
I love that line. It strikes me as someone stubborn.
Nice alliterations. -
I can just imagine, as I was reading this, an abyss of battered and broken hearts. I'm sure everyone's has been down there a time or two... but they always mend and resurface to love again. Very good piece!
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This was so sad and depressing. It made me want to just tear my eyes out so there would be no more tears. I love it!!!! Keep up the good work, your emotion in this piece is outstanding.
Soon to be queen, but for now still the...
Nubian Princess -
very sad. if you're going through a heartbreak i hope you're okay. as you mentioned in the poem, time will pass and wounds will mend.
a|ice
ps: check out my poem "Scars" if you like, it talks about wounds and stuff and it's short...lol -
I liked this, the personification of the hearts is very cleverly done, and the way you present all the different types of heart is very creative and thoughtful
Jonny (www.hellotimebomb.moonfruit.com) -
This is very powerful hon...wonderfully written...showing that pain can come to an end if and end to the pain in wanted...keep up the good work, many blessings to you.
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This was an intriguing write,
tone to it. The images fused with sound created a dramatic
performance of isolation and abandonment.
There are so many things we take for granted in life.
So many of life's beauties go unseen or noticed.
In the stillness of contentment we are priviledged
to peer into the corridors of another dimension.
Thereby recieving enlightenment.
Very good work here ... -
very nice love this one from begining to the end well thoughtout the rhyme and the flow was uninterupted just a wonderful piece of poetry done here thanks for sharing it
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this is really good! rhyme scheme was awesome! keep up the good work. thanks for sharing
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I loved this one! You have gotten really good. I promise I'll try to get on more!
~Sutmhinlifeish -
Don't I wish it were this easy to mend a broken heart but, your right all it takes is time
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awesome awesome awesome!
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Well Done
Hope and faith in whatever you believe in keep us going, loved the piece and style you used to bring it to life. Keep up the good penning, thanks! -
Very nice write, well done and beautifully penned
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hope, of course, you gotta have hope, its what keeps most of them living, keeps most hearts beating, they can live through anything they can survive another day only to get crushed again, but it doesnt matter cause they always return, the power one's heart has is amazing, it surprises you time and time again. Great poem this was, applause? yeah why not.
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