Water rushes all around me
it engulfs me in a sensation that tingles to my toes.
I can't help but think of happy thoughts
of adventure, love, and most of all defeating the demons,
the demons that stands in the way of you and me.
These thoughts bring me to now
I see the venom lace around your neck
fed to you so willingly by your own demon.
I rush to save
not realizing that like you too
my demon has poisoned me.
Choking painfully on this sweet concoction
it brings me too my knees.
I had to say one thing before I went
"I spent my life too long in the waterfall
forgetting my demon's and they soon began to grow.
God forgive me now for I am too weak
to seek the love I always wanted.
God please have mercy on my soul."
Then God came down from his heavenly place and said
"Child please hold my hand
we still have a way's to go before your death.
I shall not leave you alone I promise you this
and now open your eyes and clear all the mist.
These demon's are fight able and you have the gift.
So use your words with passion
and choose them just right.
You shall have your love tonight.
I will take all your poison from both your veins
now hurry and save your love alright."
So deep in my throat the words seem to float
into my mouth and out to make a sound
not like any other in the world.
It was a beautiful spell in such a magical tongue
the demon's hearts could not take the loving voice and began to howl
and burst into flames that consumed them whole.
I crossed this great bridge and we held each other so close
today's battle has ended with a toast and a proposal.
The marriage was planned
and they did not forget
that love has it's demons
and as long as they always kept them in check,
they would live forever without the regret
of not doing what they should and just wasting away
in this deceitful waterfall.
Author notes
I just decided to change my comment..ummm just cause. So again to the general public I also hope you may read my friends poems and leave them a comment(They are great and you will become hooked after your first read....I am positive.)
NooNiThEWitcH
Erdz
Thanks.
Written March 5th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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wow........ a nice peice of work ...........
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wonderfull work on this magical piece
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Thank you so much for your comment. Hmm I have never thought of it like that before. Though now that you mention it it really does seem to fit. I guess the difference between fantasy and real life is what makes life so great. Like the little mistakes that seems so horrible but so funny in the end. You must know alot more about love then I do(I think I am still to young or at least in my mind I am to be in love). Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and leaving such a nice comment.
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No curtain is here mocking greatness!:)
This exhibits a lot of talent, first to say.
It is also deep and complex. The waterfall izs an interesting aspect of the interpretation of love, as presented in this poem.
There is often a curtain, or deception in love. How we see others who we bestow with our affection. We can fantasise about them being in distress and needing us, like a play of shadows on the crashing curtain of a waterfall.
Then after rushing through the curtain, it may be difficult to comprehemd that your fantasy does not exist. But something else does that is equally rewarding- more so, because it's real.
That's what this poem tells me, or reminds me, because I think about it a lot... rarely, or never, do our fantasies get realised. Something we didn't think of awaits instead.
I kind of like that too.
I recall now now a sensitive scene from the sitcom Frasier, the day after Niles first makes love to Daphne (if you're at all familiar with the show), telling Frasier about it:
"And you know what the best part was? I wasn't at all like I thought it would be."
Makes you think, no?
Our demons don't want us to accept reality, and benefit from it. But as you point out, we can always find courage to fight those foes off, and be amazed by what we now see.
Strongly written, philosophical, and a toching narrative- especially the marriage at the end
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This was beautiful. You have told us such a beautiful story in such a brilliantly professional way. I love how you include a waterfall - I love waterfalls! lol Brilliant, brilliant piece. I would suggest you change the bacjground though because it's a bit off-putting with this kinda poem... just doesn't seem appropriate. But it's your poem, it's up to you. Just my opinion.
Keep penning. Great work here, well done!
Julie xxxxx -
WOW OWESOME WORK, KEEP IT UP.
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AWSOME!
AWSOME!!.....
U DID GOOD! Be Happy! And You should def. get 1st or 2nd place!
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This was pretty good for you being new at it. For the record, I love this. The title drew me in because I have often wondered what it would be like to stand beneath a waterfall. I can only imagine.
great write.
ada -
I shall not leave you alone I promise you this
and now open your eyes and clear all the mist.
These demon's are fight able and you have the gift.
So use your words with passion
and choose them just right.
You shall have your love tonight.
WOW!!! i love this and the way that you say love does have its demon to be kept in check is brilliant. true and so very well put. you wrote a great piece. tahnk youfor sharing it with me. viyanna r langager -
hello this fastic xxxxxxxx its really quiet and I can persuade you everyone can love it !!!!!!!!!! thank u!!! g8 luck
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Thank you so much. I am so gald you like it!!! I really appreciate that you have tooken the time to read my poem. Thanks your awesome!
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This was AMAZING and AWESOME! OMG I loved this it's one of my favorites that I've read on this site! It's wonderful thank you so much for entering!
~Amber~ -
Thank you Nada! I really do appreciate it!!!! If you ever want me to read yours just ask.
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Excellent and Amazing
That was amazing Jess!!! I TOTALLY LOVED THIS POEM!!!
The rhyme and flow were really cool and the whole story was amazing.. this is one of your best poems ever!!!!
Very magical and powerful and it reminds people that they should never lose faith in God
BRAVO!!! I really hope you win one of the first three places in this contest!! AMAZING!!
(I don't if i have an applaud left.. but you are taking it lol.. this deserves more than an applause)
Nooni
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