Two AM
I'm up again
Against the wall, holding my pillow tightly
Break out the razors
We'll talk later
I want to scream, I don't give a fuck about the neighbours
I pull out my vodka, drink it down straight
The bottles done and its getting late
I stumble around
I find the ground
I look in the mirror and I cringe
Then tear the razor along my skin
My eyes are bloodshot, I can't feel anymore
And I look at the floor and see blood drips
Coming down like rain from my soft fingertips
I still find myself choking on the tears
And I'm thinking why am I here?
See the sink
And I think
I want to tear this razor into my heart
Because my world I thinks it falling apart
And I feel so sick, so I go to my bed to lie
In about a minute, I just begin to cry
Its now four AM
And in seconds
Quarter past ten
And I'm still...crying
Author notes
its all about tonight, i just don't feel good, things haven't turned out like i planned and i'm sorry to everyone that has to actually see me like this and i'm just yeah sorry
Written March 5th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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heartbreaking but beautiful poem
Hi David,I finally have time to view your work,you applauded me on one of my poems as soon as I put it on the site but I wanted to applaud you for this piece.I've been there and done that of what you've written about,though now I am 44 years old and would never let a razor touch me again,my daughters are ex-cutters as well.I never told them I was a cutter until I seen them doing this to themselves as teenagers,now they are grown and happy and have children now.
Poetry is a wonderful way to release every emotion we have.I've been writing for years but all my writings were thrown away.Dont throw yours away because I will never have mine again.
Being young is so hard,I am an "old pro" now at this thing we call life and the good and bad it brings us but it gets better sweety as life goes by.I dont know exactly when I became 44,seems like only yesterday I was 20 so enjoy your life sweety,we only get one chance at this life so savor each and every day because it might very well be your last and if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for you to help in any way I can.Sometimes when we think we have the answers to life,the questions change but we can only do "one day at a time".
Your very gifted with your writing so always turn to that for comfort and I hope some sort of peace.
I look forward to reading all of your work and remember...your never,ever alone in your walk and in your pain... -
Emotional and fantastic
This is so sad to read, I cant help but feel for you. I hope you find someone who you can talk too, you are an amazing writer.....dispite what you wrote on your author page....Keep up the great work, but try and be happy
Love ya
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Yes, don't hurt yourself. It's sad that things haven't gone the way you plan, but that happens. When it does, you just have to keep marching. Nver look behind. Learn from mistakes and trials rather than break from them. We all care about you!!!
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Wow! This is sad! Just remember, today's problems can easily become tomorrow's jokes. In other words, what's bothering you today can seem laughable in the near future. Just do yourself a favor and don't do anything rash, okay? Feelings aren't facts, and suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, right? You've probably heard these before, but they're true, don't you think? If you need to im me, I'm frequently here, particularly at night, so don't be shy. I've been through abuse, and I have survived. You can too! Good luck and im me if you need to or want to. Yours - oce
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This was painful to read, so I can imagine the pain this came from. I hope writing this helped you out that night, blessings to you, and keep purging by writing, it's a healthy thing!!
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Aww I really hope you don't feel this way
If you do we're all just an im away
Hugs and please don't despair
For you my friend we're always there x x x
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Wow, I remember having those kind of nights! Ever hour on the hour I would wake up and stare at the clock wishing I wouldn't wake up at all. I do hope you get the help you need for your depression. life is what you make it and if you wake up and decide to make it a good day, no matter what happens, then things will slowly get better. It just takes time.
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I hope sincerely that you start feeling better. This is a good poem, but motivated by such sad things. You made me feel every word you wrote. I know what you mean. Good luck.
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i know this feeling, and this has such imagery that i can see it all in my head. how bad is it, whatever is causing this feeling?
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really dark and sad, the will to live seems to be completly missing. but it is a great poem, and i like that its told like a story, i only just discovered that for one of my own poems (they re watching a movie). keep up the writing and i hope you'l stop crying soon!
sineana -
you are full of pain, is there a cause? Do you understand why you feel this way? Keep writing It may help
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SOOO HEARTFELT
Oh David , this is soo sad. You must not think so little of yourself to do these things. You are such a wonderful person and gifted writer. I am here if you ever need to talk. Many hugs for you.
Take care David, Love you, Sandy (grandmom)
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