too much the freak in shadows wrapped
or trapped
by past and present ills,
i turn,
and take the timid steps
toward the kiss that kills
i cannot pretend to know myself
or the role played by my youth
when everything is done and sealed
with the molten wax of truth,
it is my bitter discontent
that drove these horses here
and i have whipped them violently
as though i've strength to steer
my love is real,
no matter how
it's met or thus received -
the shame that's cast
upon my face
is more than i believed
when first i broke
the silence kept
behind my tired eyes...
...perhaps my heart
is better meant
to house the lord of flies
i cannot pretend to know my place
among the throngs of busy souls
when loneliness begets me now
and sickness reaches and controls
the thoughts of someone like myself,
who feels the heat of scorn ignited
and longs to be
in good company
but finds himself...
...uninvited.
Author notes
Written March 4th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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You go, boy!
I came to feast upon a banquet poem by JC. And he has thrilled me again. He puts the words together so well. I have been away so long and was so pleased to come here tonight to read him again. I get glimpses of him when he writes. I have seen the shadows of his lines. -
beautiful write! your word choice is excellent & you really have a way with rhyme. it didn't sound forced one bit, but more so like it just flowed naturally & just happened to form a rhyme scheme. i love the first line, for it really draws the reader into the poem! excellent job!
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Stunning!
Well, the truths contained here echo loudly as i read this, now, aloud in my study. The sun shining in the window, beams working their way thru the pine and olive illuminating my desk, but not my writing. I hear the sonorous sounds of an isolation stated within these words, being “a part” yet so “set apart” I wonder if the Old Testament Prophets felt as this, given an unpopular position in life, very little personal reward except that within the satisfaction knowing that thet were giving out what had been shown to them. I know you are not churchman, but I know you are a religious soul, a spiritual being...and what ever the collective church has to say is so off from what Christ Himself spoke...it strikes me, interestingly odd... that I see within your work (and so many of your poems) a deeper line i cannot truly define other than to say they are, for me as if God were speaking. (capital G) to the god within (little g) As if your words offer challenge to the soul to see further than the local problems within and realize life is so much larger. Yeah I know this is a bit of ramble, sorry ‘bout that, and please excuse this for not being a literary critique, (I am just, just, bear-ly-lit-rit) It is just that your line is much like words from the other side. This is certainly a memorable poem, for me. I will always remember where i was when i first read it, how it so profoundly resonates within. Say ‘hey’ to Nate and hugs all around. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
Edited on Mar 05, 10:49 because 'sPel Czech'.
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Great stuff
Great stuff this poem, I can definately relate to 'uninvited', always being on the fringes sorta. And yeah, that last bit was quite poignant as AaronDavid pointed out. Please keep it up, I will certainly read more now.
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4 Stars
I just joined this site, and this was the first poem I read on here and I have to say I am very impressed. The writers on the last site I used to post on were nothing like this. Very well done, and I especially liked the ending. -
A most excellent and wonderful write, my friend! I know the feeling of being "uninvited" A most excellent sharing!
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5 Stars
What a beautiful poem, it flowed, everything fit.. it was just beautifully written.
I honestly fucking loved it.
I'm out of points and daily applauses, but I will be coming back aswell to applaud it tomorrow. -
i came back to applaud you
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Ooooh. This was a very unique poem. I love your vocabulary in this poem, especcially the "molten wax of truth." I am not sure exactly what emotion was being shown through this poem...and I liked it. I felt a little bit of everything and it was really cool. I particuraly liked your use of ellipses to create pauses in your poem. Nice job, keep it up!
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awesome and tear jerking
and longs to be
in good company
but finds himself...
...uninvited.
this has me wanting to reach through here and give you a big hug. you did such a wonderful job in expressing this sentiment. it is sad but well written. had i the points, i would applaus. thank you for sharing this touching piece with me. you are always invited for conversation and friendship here with me. viyanna r langager
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Really a soul searching write, one many of us can associate with - suitable title for this piece, woven back into the poem right at the end. Makes one think about out lives and how we fit or don't fit in at times. Good write.
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i cannot pretend to know my place
among the throngs of busy souls
when loneliness begets me now
and sickness reaches and controls
the thoughts of someone like myself,
That was my favorite part. You did an excellent job here. Keep it up.
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