* Yes, another Martini!
don't shake it - I like mine stirred.
Fruit of the Juniper berry,
and a tale
you may have heard.
Gin they say can
enhance a man's
performance, with a
prolonged endurance for the girls, insuring
the proper
time for romance, without becoming
totally unfurled. Yes, another Martini!
with a lemon twist in the glass.
We'll drink to women of
beauty, and getting
a piece of class.
Vermouth to
combine
a flavor,
that's
amazing
all
the
way.
My breath doesn't
carry an odor,
so I'm ready
my tongue
to play.
Ah, yes
another Martini!
As I look across the table to you.
We've shared a small story,
And I have enjoyed
the view.
Author notes
Give me an inch (and a Martini)- I'll give you a figural.
I thought I'd work this as a Vodka or Gin bottle message!
Written March 3rd, 2006
A contest entry
- Message in a bottle by JamieG.
350 points, ended October 9, 2006, 32 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - completely anything you want! NO RULES WHAT~SO~EVER! by ibsons hysops.
1000 points, ended May 30, 2007, 65 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything At All by Heavenly Angel.
26000 points, ended June 9, 2007, 100 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES ONLY by wingsofgold25.
500 points, ended September 28, 2007, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
-
A very nicely shaped piece.
Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest. -
Very creative and very well done, Tang! I admire anyone who can do shape poetry and have it look and read well
Thank you for sharing; I wish you the best -
-
Thank you!
I've just loved doing the shapes - So glad you enjoyed.
Thanks for your great comment!
Tang
-
-
Very well done, and this must have taken awhile to get the words just write,
-
what else could i have ever said, but... genuinely clever! ur a Finalist! good luck with this awsome entry in the Contest!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, & Great Job By the Way!!!
-
Oh, how I love honesty! I was glad to see how blunt you were about the subject. The form was quite weird, but it looks terribly difficult. I did notice the shape though, and how anyone could pull of that and the ryhming is beyond me.
"We've shared a small story.
And I have enjoyed
the view."
I would suggest that the first period be turned into a comma, since the sentence is not yet finished.
Very different.
-Zill -
-
Thank you!
I appreciate the catch on the comma - got it fixed and you are absolutely right!
For the shape - at the time - I had way too much time on my hands. (And was trying to break into this poetry field)
I do love to create the figurals (as I call them)
Thanks for reading & for a great comment!
Tang
-
-
Good job, thank you for entering the contest. whispers
-
lol that was brilliant, i loves the glass look too, superb, well done, and good luck in the contest
-
Dear Desire,
(tings her glass with his Martini glass) Cheers!
The figurals and poems vary depending on what's involved. I work on the design and the poem at the same time to get words to fit within.
I'm very glad you've enjoyed this piece.
Tang -
Very Very Creative!!
I had to see the figural you did for this write
Definitely not disappointed!
Inspiring words to go with the view too
How long does one normally take to create?
Look forward to reading more...
Enjoyed this one immensely...
Now I am thirsty
(goes to the kitchen and makes herself a Martini)
Best wishes to You in the contest!
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
-
Dear WiLL Iam,
Hey! We missed you terribly!
We creamed the opposition again, as the right and the light shall aways prevail!
Thanks for enjoying a martini with me! I do like the Bond image books and movies - Yep!
Tang -
Dear Xquiste,
Thanks so much for your compliment! Figural poetry is my favorite to create - so glad you enjoyed.
Tang -
Hey Alex, LoL...very kewl write to a theme taken so seriously. The martini Mr Tang is supposed to be shaken not stirred for the vespers to truly permeate the drink...Mr Bond just found a great cliche through Iam Flemings writings..
Write On Bro... How did the war for the kingdom go... Sorry I missed out...;(
-
Great!!
Oh my! Shape poetry, and not only that but you have a way with words! Wow! I'm so... wow! I'm at a loss for words! This was too good, you are tooo talented! I loved it loved it loved it Do not stop writing! thas a command!
-
Dear Dark Catalyst,
You are very welcome, I'm glad you got a tickle from it!
Tang -
haha nice, thank you for entering this contest, good luck!
-
Did you receive the 100 points from the contest? I sent them but I don't think they have been deducted from mine?
-
Dear stoneage,
Thanks for the compliment!
Do you take an olive or a lemon twist?
Tang -
This does bring images of the movie Bar Fly to mind. A nice example of concrete poetry. Perhaps I’ll have to share a Martini with someone, to test the image you have created. Thanks for entering the contest
Blayde -
My Dearest Muse GodeSsOfTemPtati0n,
I think for this one - I was thinking of a James Bond kind of character - Ian Flemming the creator really played him up well.
My love to you,
Tang
(Your King Lio) -
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
another perfect write from you my dearest King
mad respect for your creation and for you
good luck
(i agree good poetry) -
YEs, and the shape is not all in your writes, the text is very informative too, saw the french onion soup too lol!
-
Dear Lencio,
Thank you for your compliment on my Martini glass. I have bartended (among the other many jobs in my life) and there are some drinks that are given to a particular glass.
If you look at things from an angle you can get perspective instead of only a flat single dimension. I use both.
Tang
-
Oh my God!!! I had done one for Christmas - suppose to be a wine goblet and a non poet friend of mine argues it looked like a brandy balloon, and I said "whatever" - wine means alcohol, so it could be any of the glasses from which you can drink alcohol - and all this only to defend myself lol!!! But this has got the exact shape and we know what you are talking about! and yet so very different than what people normally do, I mean the view, normally it would be one flat view - you know what I mean? Well done! but wouldnt you???
Lencio -
This is one of my favorite figurals, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Thank you for the format that allows me to show it, and for your very kind compliment. Cheers!
-
"We'll drink to women of beauty, and getting a piece of class."
HAHAHAHA
Wow, such a clever piece. Okay, so maybe the message wasn't entirely hung up on morals , but I really enjoyed it. Great flow, awesome format!
-
Thank you for your very kind words, this is one of my favorite figurals, and I hope that it will do better in your contest.
-
I love Ur act and way of words...
The poem was Hot.
Good Luck to U and all U do! -
I must say I loved the presentation of this on the page, it cannot have been easy to create. The flow wasn't bad, the rhyme scheme worked well, and rescued the poem when it was a little jerky. The poem starts off strong and attention grabbing, but seems to lose it slightly towards the end, such a shame. Good luck in the contest, take care, Heather x
-
Thank you Mindreader for enjoying your Martini, and your wonderful compliment. (Oh I forgot to card you - are you over 21?)
-
WoW!!
That truly surprised me.I love Artists like you. No walls or
confined writting. Just a love for your poems. Good job my friend! -
When I do I'll be sure to invite you for some Chardonnay, I never like to drink alone!
-
Nice image - can you make a wine glass too? I love the way the image and the words come together - very creative write
-
Hey! It's about time you had a drink with me ol' buddy! You did have to wait to make sure I got the drinks though! Thanks for the kind words. I'm getting quite a collection.
-
What kind of a mention, my fiend. Did it include words best not said?
LOL Just kidding you. You do have a way with these shape poems, Tang. I love donuts. Only kidding dude. This is great stuff. Never would I be able to do this stuff. Its bad enough my brain hurts just by writing. lol
-
Cool. I own a bar you know. Cute.
-
Dear windssong,
Thanks again for your excellent comment. I do love pie!! I know where there's some pecan I could share with you!! -
I had to settle for another one as it would not let me taste the first. I think someone told the barkeep I'm a lush and a layabout. But that's only half right as I'm neither grass nor a chicken. Sorry perverse sens of humor and not enough poor bastards to subject to it. This one is just a perfect as the other. I will have to read through them and let you know which I prefer. Not that it matters but well you know. You should do a slice of pie next! that woud be ingenious.
-
The words make a Martini glass. Very creative.
Nicely written, intanglio my love.
~Camisha -
Hey, barkeep! Where's my olive?
-
WONDERFUL POEM
This was really an excellent poem. The shape was great and the words awesome. Best of luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem. It was such a pleasure to read. Take care. Sandy
-
To my contest holder man of inspiration. Couldn't pass up on a poem that complements your name!! Thank's for the opportunity!
-
NO! Margaritas! Frozen! LOL! The hell with Martinis! LOL! A good write though just the same. Take care.
~Donna~ -
i thinks i sees a placing poem...possibly gold!
-
amazing
not only was the write itself good, in all respects, but i was amazed by the shape and precision it took to get it that way. impecable! mighty impressive.
Adding your comment:
1 - 46 of 46
