oh what a cruel surprise
i fucked up again
acted on a drunken impulse
not thinking what i could do to another
the pain and stress i could inflict..
another mindless moment that could eternally change our future.
i knew what i lost as soon as it was finished,
and that,
the vast sorrows and emptiness,
the vague memories of what i had just done,
was enough to kill me on the spot.
i didn't know what to do,
how should i tell you directly?
i just didn't know.
i need you
i want you
desire you.
i need you here,
helping me to break the vicious cycle of abusing myself.
i need you here so i won't do something like this again.
i don't want drunken temptation to grasp me again,
i don't want anything,
anybody,
but you.
but what a way to show that.
i can hardly imagine what you're feeling..
i just added more to what you're already going through.
and i just wreaked havoc on something
that potentially could have changed our lives.
what a girlfriend i made for you..
a foolish cheat.
Author notes
i'm so sorry...i hurt myself just as much as i hurt you. i just...i hope..oh fuck it. it doesnt even matter now i guess..
Written February 28th, 2006
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Comments
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Hey i love the poem mom it is wonderful!!!!
lylam
Billy Jo (Ashli) -
cassy that is a very lovely poem. a little to far from comfort for me to look up to you. I wish you the best of luck just don't do anything that might hurt yourself. and i accept to be your AP Daughter.
Love ya,
Ashli -
Bold, but Honest
Wow, so honestly real. Its hard sometimes to admit (to ourselves) when we've done something wrong, let alone to the one we did it too. This is bold! All I can think to say at this time, is good luck not just with the relationship, but with yourself. It sounds like you need to help yourself, before dealing with a relationship. I wish you the best in your Self discovery!
Edited on Mar 09, 3:10 because ''.
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