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~ A Sexy Haiku

If I wrote poems
Up the inside of your thigh
Haiku or epic ?

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Written February 26th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • oooooooooooooooooooooooo that was really awesome and so thought provoking so erotic and so enticing well done here friend

  • very precise !!!
    and
    I think it would depend on the pen


  • Peteskid gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    I like the idea here, the last line says something about feelings in a very clever way, adding fun and temptation to a moment...a very nice short writing here...PK

  • i like this very different very intriguing. the zen found in haikus make them really peaceful to read but the subject of yours is very erotic...they ying and yang....very good!


  • kyew
    March 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oi. it's difficult critiquing haiku on this site. too many people see the form as so very easy when it's just the opposite and they tend to be offended when you tell them it's not that good of a haiku. I like this in that it's... irreverent. ikkyu would be impressed, I think. he believed zen could be reached as easily in bed with a woman as reading sutras or practicing zazen. yes, I think he'd like it.

    technically, it would be termed a senryu. I'm not one to make that distinction though seeing as humans are a part of nature too. I guess the one thing that bugs me about it is: it has no 'zen moment'. that 'aha!' that grabs you and makes you look at it in a different light. the lending to a deeper meaning.

    still, in the world of haiku, it's there. an interesting take on haiku as they are/were seldom erotic. I've no problem with exploration and experimentation


  • Manicmuze
    February 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    myron, do you pronouce "poems" as two syllables ? that's what happened i think. My Indiana accent tends to "slush" words together sometimes and its times like these when I catch that I'm probably saying the word "poem" wrong because I say it as one syllable...lol I will fix Mr. Haiku master, and thank you :-)


  • myron silver member
    February 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    witty

    If I wrote my poems
    Up the inside of your thigh
    Haiku or epic ?

    lol - i enjoyed this one wendy. is it your first haiku? i see yoiu have tried to stick to the old 5.7.5 format. but i count 6 syllables in your first line. if you wanted 5 syllables there you could probably omit 'my':

    if I wrote poems
    up the inside of your thigh ---
    haiku or epic

    haiku do not need capitals in them, so you could get rid of them if you wanted to.


    a very witty poem. i enjoyed the lightness of its touch.


    best wishes,
    myron.




  • Balldinger silver member
    February 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Wrap around haiku...

    Oh, a haiku manifesto, heated to a boiling point and lathered in the thigh hyacinth counter-rhythms and lotions of today, yesterday and tomorrow. What kind of words are left to use now? ~ Ed


  • Cisco Kid
    February 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh yeah. My kind of haiku!
    Damn good, Wendy

    ~Cisco

  • Pome
    February 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Is that a haiku
    in your pocket or are you
    packing an epic?
    LOL
    great haiku.


  • ennovy silver member
    February 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    well it would have to be a haiku, because I am short, LOL
    this must be the classic haiku, and the syllable count is
    perfect, 5-7-5, bravo! .......Ennovy


  • Melissa Powell
    February 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I'd say Epic!!! LOL Great write, and I've never EVER seen a sexy Haiku!!!


  • The Hidden Darkness
    February 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    B

    lol, i love a good haiku, this one was a little strange but nonetheless good!

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