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Four in the Morning

This is the cold
Moment of night,
When shame takes hold
And memories bite,
When each past fault
And deed that failed
Grimly assault,
Glumly assail...
        Too late to sleep,
        Too soon to wake,
        Lie still and weep,
        Conscience unslaked;
        Too soon to wake,
        Too late to sleep,
        Conscience unslaked;
          Lie still and weep!


A sickly moon
Rambles the skies,
Pale as a loon
A late owl flies.
Face to the east
I lie, forlorn,
Seeking the least
Paling of dawn...
        Too soon to wake,
        Too late to sleep,
        Conscience unslaked,
        Lie still and weep;
        Too late to sleep,
        Too soon to wake,
        Lie still and weep,
        Conscience unslaked!

This is the hour
When Judas died,
Despair holds power,
All hope denied!
Fevered regrets
For the dead past
Vie with chill threats
Of fate's next cast...
        Too late to sleep,
        Too soon to wake,
        Lie still and weep
        Conscience unslaked;
        Too late to mourn
        Dead love or hate,
        Till day is born
        Lie still - and wait!

A contest entry

Please do not feel obliged to comment - but if you do, please understand that I may not be able to respond for some time,

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Comments

1 - 62 of 62

  • FlipperSwitch
    November 6
    Edit | Reply
    I thoroughly enjoyed your versatile repetition, it has almost a Poe/Plath vibe to it.

    • Vera Rich
      November 6
      Edit | Reply
      Am I to take this as a compliment? I have rather mixed feelings about Sylvia Plath - both the woman herself AND her work!


  • Perennial Plague
    October 29

    Edit | Reply
    This is very well-written.
    These just happen to be my favorite lines:
    This is the hour
    When Judas died,
    Despair holds power,
    All hope denied!
    Fevered regrets
    For the dead past
    Vie with chill threats
    Of fate's next cast...

    But of course the entire piece is quite a delight to read. And your style is pretty cool as well.


  • RazorbladeKiss14
    September 14
    Edit | Reply
    This was very good poem! i LOVED IT! THANK YOU FOR ENTERING AND GOOD LUCK IN MY CONTEST!!


  • mitchybaby
    August 30
    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed the repetition in this piece, very unique thank you for entering


  • stargardt13
    August 30

    Edit | Reply
    This was a very unique good poem. I enjoyed it very very much!
    This had wonderful repetiotion!
    Thjank you for entering my contest


  • nobodys-girl
    August 15
    Edit | Reply
    wow i love this! its just so... amazing. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck


  • adios muchachos gold member
    August 7
    Edit | Reply

    Hi Vera

    I knew this was either Vincent Price or Vera Rich. Glad it was you!

    Best of luck!

    John


  • EMOverlord
    August 7

    Edit | Reply
    Very good, the repetition of this poem really drew me in, I loved it. I really do wish you the best of luck throughout the rest of this contest.

    -- EMOverlord


  • Night Terrors
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    I really loved this!!!!! A wonderful portrayal of poetic repeat. I think this was an amzing style great way of expressing yourself. That was a wonderful poem all around. Loved the style, loved the ryhme, and rythme great one thank you so much for entering.


  • Ami
    April 15

    Edit | Reply

    This was really good =]

    "Too late to sleep,
    Too soon to wake,
    Lie still and weep
    Conscience unslaked;
    Too late to mourn
    Dead love or hate,
    Till day is born
    Lie still - and wait!"
    Loved the end
    Great Write and
    Thank You for entering my contest
    Good Luck
    -♥Amanda♥


  • Luciferschild
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this poem and i have almost no criticisms for this, thank you for entering and good luck in the contest


  • spideracer gold member
    January 17
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, you've won all the top awards with this poem, kinda like a swimmer winning bronze, silver and gold for the same race. It's still a good poem done with the old Vera Rich magic, rhymes well and the darkness is felt there. As I've already applauded this poem below, not allowed to applaud again. Anyway thanks again for sharing and good luck in this contest.


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    November 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your very impressive entry, Josie


  • upperworld06
    October 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    o cool, i've never heard that song, i'll have to look it up some time.


  • upperworld06
    October 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    cool, is this a song? if so id like to hear it preformed, good writ


  • chilali
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Omg! I agree with Timespell! This was incredible, and I see you've won some trophies for these as well! Well, I'm sure this will win another one in this contest. It has too! Brilliany. Well done!
    http://allpoetry.com/poem/4645013


  • Timespell
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The best Rhyming poem so far, with a nice touch of darkness! You should definitely win another award with this entry.

    Good luck in the contest.

    My Poem: http://allpoetry.com/poem/3772812


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic rhythm and rhyme, the sound alone impacts this reader with a sense of gloom and dread. Masterful. This is my favorite I've read thus far, Eclecta.

    My poem: http://allpoetry.com/poem/2795246

  • spideracer gold member
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a good poem, better than some of the others I've read in this contest. Deserves to win another award for sure. Link to my poem http://allpoetry.com/poem/4531565

  • Vera Rich
    October 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I have very little access to internet at present - my computer has gone for servicing and I am having to work in libraries. Nor do I really like the idea of commenting on other people's entries before a competition is closed. (Who knows, I could give poor advice which might deprive them of an award). However, as that is the point of the competition, I shall certainly do so - shortly before it closes. (By which time my computer should have been fixed!)


  • Lost Vampyre Angel
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    holy shit you entered this in alot of contests! hmm this is very very good, it is better than most of what I have read so far in my contest, your rhyme flows well and you have a brilliant structure to the poem. Thanks for entering
    all my love
    kitty xxx


  • PurpleEmoFoofCheese
    August 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are a very good writer, and i really enjoyed reading this entry. It's dark and full of pictures that leap into your head as your reading it. Thanks for your entry and good luck!


  • Peteskid gold member
    August 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Such a wonderful poem for the prompt and the contest theme, more important though...a wonderful poem for its message and intrinsic beauty...facing the night like a mirror...excellent, thoughtful and the lyrical qualities, the refrains and structure, are also excellent...PK


  • LaylaLace
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved the flow and rhythm of this piece. I could tell this was very carefully thought out.
    Good luck in the contest!


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great flow, thoughts are deep, emotions run high
    Loved your second stanza
    Thank you for your entry and best wishes
    Julie


  • daviscth silver member
    July 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for taking time to post in our contest.

  • Judith Chandler
    July 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This really held my attention. I think it was the way you varied the choruses though each one was quite similar. "Too soon to wake, too late to sleep." I've been there and it is far from pleasant. And the hour that Judas died too! That won't make me feel any better the next time.

    Great write. Good luck in the contest.


  • HiddenByTheDark
    July 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love it nothin more really to say besides masterpeice


  • sophia moonfairy
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is amazing I love it <3 good luck


  • Strawberry Wolf
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    good work! i loved the phrasing! though you did break two rules..... i'll decide if i allow you to remain in the contest or not on the final day of the contest...


  • and234
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the repetition throughout the poem, it really helps the meaning along. Not very dark, though I liked it.

    Good luck in the contest


  • City-of-Angels
    July 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. I love the fact that you made it so broad, to where the reader can put in their own personal experiences to it. Very nice, my personal favorite lines were:
    "Too late to sleep,
    Too soon to wake"
    I always tend to lay awake at night and worry. I tend to do this A LOT haha. Very well done poem thanks for entering and good luck


  • z etoile
    June 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow you entered a lot of contests. I like how you captured insomnia how we all go through this at times. Great write and thank you for entering my contest!


  • Beautiful-N-Broken gold member
    May 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great write. Keep up the good work. Good luck in the contest.


  • Butterfly24
    May 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for the entry.

  • piccola silver member
    April 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice job. Thank you for observing the rules. I really enjoyed reading this...the repetition works well here.
    Thank you for your entry.


  • Redrusty66
    March 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Superb, excellent vocabulary and continous flow. Ample material for a song. Your use of imagery was spot on. Wonderful write.


  • Stormy Days
    January 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow is is good.. wow


  • Deezee
    January 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I likkee...Very nice.


  • GypsyEyes
    November 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Judge Says

    The description thing came from my last contest when people entered and I was like "What?" at the end of the poem. So this time I just wanted to know a little bit about where your inspiration for the poem came from. I think that your poem applies that. Your poem is great. I loved the repeated stanza. Thank you for entering! Good Luck!
    ~Dommi


  • XHollowXEyesX
    September 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow. have to say dido to what I have already written in my last comment from the past contest of mine that you enterd. but it is so much better reading it this time around. still awesome and you described the feeling of regret so well with great emotion.


  • AshesFromFire
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    you get props for the amazing flow and feeling of this poem!!!!! I absolutly love this!!!!! Your in my finalist list, hands down!
    Hey, have you thought of writing songs before? this sounds like one and is great!

    • Vera Rich
      June 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Wel, it sounds like a song because it is a song! As generally happens with me, the music came to me first, and then gradually as I sang it over and over to myself, the words began to float to the top of my consciousness.


  • Xsafety glassX
    May 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Too late to sleep,
    Too soon to wake,
    Lie still and weep
    Conscience unslaked;

    sounds like a song, and that part the chorus...finalists for u!!

  • XHollowXEyesX
    April 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is a awesome write.so much emotion and impact in it.I really love how it has a natural flow and so much power.
    thansk for entering and goodlcuk


  • sweetcountry
    October 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow very different i love this and i like how you mentioned judas.. good job on this one


  • keyman7
    August 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting write. The human heart is a dark sea of many beauties. Well expressed, friend.

  • Vera Rich
    July 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Well, it sounds like a song, because I wrote it as a song... As often happens, the music came into my head first - and then I spent the next few hours searching my mind (or the empyrean!) to find the words!


  • deppsgirl
    July 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    superb

    Hey, this is a really good piece, it has a very good form and rhythm. It sounds very much like it could be a song. I like the third part of it the best, it really closes the poem very well. I agree very much with what the person above said; this piece has a lot of feeling. Thanks for sharing it with everyone and entering it. Good luck in the contest

  • dancing darkness
    May 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    that was very emotional..dark..and beautiful..thanks for enetering..


  • LovesWithTheBreeze
    March 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This was so beautifully sad. So crushing....so felt by so many people who know too well the emotion that comes at 4 inthe morning. This was an amazing write. Keep up the good work. Just perfect!!


  • Inside and out
    March 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Your words are desciptive, creative and well written. Good Job.
    This is exactly how four in the morning feels. Kudos


  • Frozentearz
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yes I remember this poem
    and reading it again and I thank you for entering it within this one
    I hope that you are feeling better, and your hardship comes to an end, I will keep you within my prayers and thoughts,
    Thanks once again for sharing.
    Warm thoughts
    FrozentEars


  • ChrisE
    March 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    V Good

    This was an interesting poem. I liked that you have observed that in the quiet your thoughts catch up with you, as you aren't distracted, and you despair the frustration of not being able to fall back to sleep due to an unquieted mind. The atmosphere was intriguing too, being bought by images of the moon and owls; pale colour, a 'chill' temperature all capture the senses in the reader. The juxtaposition to 'When Judas died' adds depth and interest, taking us out of the present and into the past - a short journey into reverie perhaps and adding a connotation to the 'dead' of night when ghosts hauntingly appear...makes me shiver. A layered poem to learn from and enjoy reading...I especially liked that you have formed it as a lyrical poem, I am unsure if it is a standard form, such as sonnets, tirsa rima, etc., but I know I like it.


  • myrataal silver member
    March 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Divinely Brilliant

    Dearest One

    This is the small hour, Beloved,
    when the everlasting soul parts
    from its vulnerable body.
    When attacks on the spirit
    are intensified. This is the hour
    of victory. Of freedom's flight.

    Four in the morning
    gripped my heart, held me breathless,
    gave me tearless sight,
    a sacred part, a precious power.

    Privileged to guide a soul Home,
    joyously through this hour
    "too soon to wake/too late to sleep",
    I heard the ever-present crow.
    I heard the nightingale, the owl.
    I felt the fleeting fever's grasp,
    the fluttering heart,
    the final gasp.
    Came sun, came Sun,
    circle complete,
    came soul released to everlasting Day.

    May you be touched by Love,
    dear Heart,
    may you be touched
    by holy Heart.



    Myra


  • individuality gold member
    March 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    in the morning, familiar silence which creeps like years. the voice of the dawn waiting for its alloted cry, while considered is ours. a good poem, i liked the rhyme/chorus.

  • adios muchachos gold member
    February 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Vera,
    Though I've never seen this type of formatting for a poem, I couldn't help feel that I recognized it and was familiar with it some way.
    Needless to say, I feel that the poem was very powerful because of it.
    Wishing you the best always....

    John-Las Vegas
    Edited on Feb 28 because 'sp'.


  • ma belle
    February 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Applause

    A poem with POWERFUL, spiritual language! Intricate rhyming scheme. Solitude is articulated with such a thrust of emotion and passion. The implication of a day that will still yet dawn is the perfect ending. I am awed. -Belle
    Edited on Feb 27, 9:39 because 'spell'.


  • Frogzter gold member
    February 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love this... the form, rhyme.... all of it! Solitude came across loud and clear in this cleverly penned peice! Thanks for entering the contest and my best to you!
    ~Frog


  • chills gold member
    February 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    As John Cleese would no doubt agree, 'it's not the despair but the hope' that is most sad at four in the morning. x chilli

  • Frozentearz
    February 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I liked the repetitive you used to drive home the solitude one feels in the night,
    Most certainly when we all have down time to think,
    But like Judas all things can be forgiven like how you added that part into this write Unique penning indeed.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on Solitude.
    FrozenTears

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