I looked across the valley to the opposite hill
And saw the opposing army, armed and standing still
It looked just like a mirror two armies perfectly matched
Lined along the hillside all ready to be dispatched
We stood in our ranks from the lowest to the king.
Each ready to do battle and if needed feel deaths sting
Each had sworn allegiance and vowed to fight to the end
It was for our king and country we would forever defend
Over on the other hill their king raised his glove to the sky
The signal had been given and a thousand men tore by
Down the hill they ran screaming, and on to the valley floor
A thousand men in full flight bloodthirsty to the core
I heard the rush behind me as the arrows spread into the sky
I watched as the points rained down and half their men would die
I didn’t hear the order I just followed my fellow man
And I found myself screaming as down the hill I ran
The battle started in earnest as we reached the valley floor
And pawn to pawn we battled while the kings kept the score
Then next the knights they joined us from both sides they appear
fresh to the battle their presents commanding fear
The battle raged on until the bugler sounded retreat
And I looked about to see which side would suffer from defeat
I watched as their knights lead their men back up the hill
Their king just lowered his head his horse stood quiet and still
For when the game has ended the peices go back into the box
The lid is shut, the key is turned, and we are protected by the locks
Until another battle and we are call to serve our king once more
And we race down hills of pillows and do battle on the playroom floor
In a list
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A contest entry
- Time to do Battle! by IndividualEleven.
900 points, ended March 28, 2007, 32 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Primo!
Man...what an artistic scope you've got!
Another Silver that deserved Gold! 
I'm surprised that you've not done an animated movie [you've certainly got the talent] or that you don't have you're own children's animated cartoon show!
I never expected the ending you gave this. Your depiction of war got me...I hate 
war...& was glad to see that this was all in the children's imagination, but honestly I'd rather children were imagining peace 
than war anytime! 
You're so delightfully entertaining Paul! 
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a good poem, ah i remember the days when i was a kid, i used to have loads and loads of tiny toy soldiers, they'd be scattered everywhere, i like the flow here, rich in detail and a smiling ending.
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The flow and story amazing; and very sweet. The video is stellar. Thank you for pointing this out to me.
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Wow thats amasing dad
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Excellent
The poem is well written, The rhyming is good, good flow and well put together. I suppose the deaths could have been very big but what else is expected, the brave fought they were all brave and strong, and honoured each side, well his presence was enough what he did not do he might do again or has done before, lovely to know their hearts were united.
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Great stuff here! Well written.
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Enjoyed this very much ...there are a few mistakes in grammar which distracts from the read,
Over on the other hill "there" king raised his glove to the sky (there should be their)
I watched as "there" knights lead their men back up the hill - the knights or their knights?
and this sentence was twisted around for rhyming purposes
And I found myself screaming as down the hill I ran
People dont talk like that, you would normally say, I found myself screaming as I ran down the hill...it was twisted for the rhyme, too obvious and contrived.
thanks for the enjoyable read,
galfalfa
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Wonderful imagery and storyverse dear poet a very enjoyable read
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Very nice story and hte ending is great!
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what a wonderful story ... most talented and love the ending. Love,
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"Over on the other hill there king raised his glove to the sky
The signal had been given and a thousand men tore by
Down the hill they ran screaming, and on to the valley floor
A thousand men in full flight bloodthirsty to the core"
This is the strongest part of the whole thing.
Amazing rhyme scheme. -
exquisite write here, and the audio link really lends itself well here because you just sit and visualize the scene, stunning work!!
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Pretty good writeup here! The imagery really enraptured me, congrats on winning an award.
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just notice something, in this line:
key is turned, and we are protected by the locks
you have "and we are" but the audio says "and they are"
just thought you'd want to know. I like listening to it, peaceful voice you got, and very entertaining, I can really see the images play across my eyes, as if it were all true. great job. -
also p.s.
For when the game has ended the peices go back into the box
The lid is shut, the key is turned, and we are protected by the locks
Until another battle and we are call to serve our king once more
And we race down hills of pillows and do battle on the playroom floor
excellent ending, just perfect!!!! -
Incredible
love the audio, every word was perfect, the flow and rhyme was superb, as well as hitting option 2 very nicely, with the chess refrences, awesome truely a work of art!!!!! I listened to it twice and will add to my bookmark list, this is fantastic, I think I found my bonus winner for sure, possibly more... thanks for entering and wonderful job. - Jacen an IndividualEleven.
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I listened to you do the audio.Smooth read,and exemplary piece.Fine work.~~Suseann
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These naratives set to music are very good. You are an excellent poet. Also a great orator, in my view. What kind of music do you play? Is some of it on the net?
Andy -
dear you have done it again...totally wow'd me
you have such great talent and I am thankful you
share it with us all. I am going to applaud this and please know that when I do it symbolizes a standing ovation as well.
Hugs, Suzi -
Your audio writes are truly superb!
Fern
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My brother, this was amazing. As it was coming to the end, I was getting chills. I didn’t really even realize the title until then. This was simply brilliant.
~ John
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I read the poem and listened to the audio (as Granny Goose) and I think you've done another awesome job with both
This brings back sweet memories of my sons at play, their toy soldiers, cowboys and Indians, all their make believe.
Very well done and I enjoyed it so much
Dee
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beautiful....a wonderful poem artistically enhanced...wonderful....show me howwwwwww!!!! lol. well done ~tryst
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another beautifully illustrated and poetically told story..loved this one also.. you have awesome talent in audio.. taping..keep doing this.. as it appears to be another of your winners..
Linda -
this is a really well recorded poem and i thought it was extremely individual and the way you told it was so cool. not very often have i seen people who do their poem presentation stuff quite like this.
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great
Another great contribution to this site, thank you. -
Nicely written poem, and well-recorded. I enjoyed it very much. It brought memories of Henry V. Thanks for sharing!
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amazing
This was totally amazing! I loved everything about this. The way you told the story the way the background music fell into everything. This was really a great write. Keep it up! -
that was cool.
good poem.
beautiful. -
excellent
Really great poem and nice voice. Good job with recording. Keep writing! Good work! -
AWESOME!
I really loved this! The background music was perfect with it,and I'm just speechless. It was very well written,well said..just beautiful. And I love how it's described as such a battle,then you find it's just a game. Write on! -
whoa baby!!! dat is soo cool!!! i liked it alot!
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