"You stupid whore"
Shattered is my ever existence.
Broken glass shattered everywhere
blood and torn clothes lay
desperate for attention.
Violent hair and anger and confusion
as I sit
icing the bruises,
and coming up with lies...
" I ran into a door."
Eyes blinking back tears
he smiles and pretends that
everything is ok.
He reaches for me,
the tears flow once more
Silence the comedian.
" You dumb slut."
Who ever said being in this relationship was fun?
" You worthless piece of garbage."
lies I began to believe.
" Slut, whore, bitch."
Reverberated in my brain
Life isn't worth living anymore.
Silence the comedian.
He shakes with laughter as he sees me on the ground,
Struggling to get up.
" You're nothing to me."
I know he means well, he loves me.
This is my nightmare, my world.
I created it
My shadow, my beautiful paining.
Laughing in my face, knowing it's safe
at least for tonight.
He continues to degrade me
Spitting on me, making me feel
like the ghost.
This needs to stop,
cracked ribs, bruised eyes, split lips.
I can't go through this anymore!!
His cold, cold eyes staring at me.
Silence the comedian.
I see him. While he's flirting,
he pretends everything is fine, and OK.
I know how he really is...
I flinch in fear...when he goes to hug me.
The comedian's laughter is growing louder.
I cry when he speaks louder than a whisper.
The comedian's laughter is a cackle.
" You're nothing"
his face in mine.
" You're stupid."
His face a pale, ghostly figure.
" I hate you."
He's a mere skeleton.
" Die, bitch!!"
His ashes are dust.
" Fuck you. I did this because of you."
Those are his words,
they don't hurt anymore.
I cower and whimper in the corner,
all at the cost of saving my life.
How is this going to end, to work.
(The gun is underneath my pillow)
How is this going to develop?
( 72 stitches and a million scars later)
How am I going to tell my family?
( I ran into a door....)
How am I going to face him again?
( I am a strong woman!! You can't beat me down!)
I look into the face of the man
that laughs at everything strong.
He isn't strong himself,
or maybe it's me.
He wants to scribble his suicide on the wall,
He can't deal with what he's done
his steel cell encroaching upon him with every
breath he takes.
He longs to be the comic on stage,
taking the power
He wants to be the clown,
with the fake smile on this face...
playing that everything is OK...
Kill the comedian.
Kill the laughter.
Kill the joy
Kill the love.
Before he kills me.
Before he threatens me...
Before I die.
Let him rot in jail.
Let him laugh...
let him scream...
let him die...
let him cry.
Let him wish he was dead..
Because he's seen me cry,
he has seen my soul die.
He's made me cry for the last time.
This comedian has finally died.
Author notes
I know where this came from. I hate the person who made my life a living hell. I like this poem for the simple reason is...it outs him for what he really is
Written February 25th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Been in an abusive relationship? Divorced? How does it feel to you to go through these things? by Tasha-Linette.
450 points, ended October 26, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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this is shocking, but it has to be for that is what t abuse is, i think you have wrote a verry descriptive peice of poetry here and well deserving of gold
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I have some good news, as well as some bad news, for you:
The good news is, this is a lovely, yet sad poem. It's descriptions screamed for attention, and there was such intense grief and anguish that I was nearly sick with the emotions. I'm sorry you ever had to go through this, but I hope that writing this gave you some sort of closure and that you can begin to move on.
The bad news is, you were well-over the 20-line limit and I will have to DQ you. If you can write a shorter version of this same write, you will be welcomed back into the contest, and most likely the finals as well, with open arms.
Don't delete this one, though, since it's still very good. Better luck next time.
Laura
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I love the title.
I think this is a very good poem, but the flow is a little rough in spots. I believe you can make it better by reading it out loud a few times as they say and doing a little editing. I think then that it would be an outstanding piece.
Andy
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I love the title.
I think this is a very good poem, but the flow is a little rough in spots. I believe you can make it better by reading it out loud a few times as they say and doing a little editing. I think then that it would be an outstanding piece.
Andy
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were we married to the same man? it sure sounds like it. it is scary to me to know that there are so many of the hims like this in the world. thank you for sharing your talent and heart with me through this write tonight on allpoetry.com. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. good luck in this contest that we both have entered. viyanna rosemarie
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God, this brought tears to my eyes. I know how it feels with all the painful words yelled at you, and more recently I've experienced more of physical side. It isn't anything like you describe here, but it is definatley not good for my daughter to see. I wonder if she will remember these things all her life or if she is too young. My heart goes out to you. Good luck in the contest.
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yeah i have been here in this life before. as you get older and time passes, the only way to heal is to find someone who actually shows you that not all men are like that. meanwhile, before that can happen you have to start with changing yourself, making yourself stronger, and know that you will never take that from someone again. it took me getting thru two physically abusive relationships to really gain my strength and fight back to the point where any man in my life expects that if he will think about doing that, i will strike back. now, i dont even allow loud yelling towards myself because i dont like to argue. if something cannot be discussed, it is only worth time away for a few hours so that each can settle down. i wont live that way anymore, and looking back, it has been so long now, that it feels like that was another "me". another life, a nightmare agao. its very sereal to me. time can heal you if you focus on self improvement. good luck.
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If this man was the black man you don't date then, I would suggest you look for a man that is a man (who would never hit a woman), no matter his ethnicity. You have to be willing to try all shades of skin-tones. I have met many men in my lifetime and none has ever placed their hands on me because I get that straight in the beginning. I have never been abused and don't expect it will happen with what I would do in retaliation. Don't take it...for any reason, no matter what color the brother is.
You have brought me to a point of anger to see that there are coward-ass men out there that would beat on their women. All he really needed was a good ass kicking from a man his equal. I thought you said on your author page that you come from a family of ten. They all should have bum-rushed his yellow ass. Sorry but that's what I am brought to after reading this vivid poem. -
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I should have clarified, I don't date black men because the type that are in my neighborhood are the immature hoodrats who refuse to pull themselves up from being depressed. Right now...I'm single. And...independant. I don't need a man to make me happy!!
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This was really orginal and sad. But it shows what a great poet you are!
This is my nightmare, my world.
My shadow, my beautiful painting.
I love those two lines because they put the puzzle in this poem together.
Great job!
Good luck!
Taylor. -
Excellent!!!! I love it. Its a really excellent piece. And sorry about that...some people are just asses...this was a really good write.
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Things are wonderful now! thank you for asking. I wasn't sure this fit...but it does kind of have a satirical kick to it. Comedians and abuse...doesn't really add up. But neither does a picture perfect boyfriend/ life and then the nightmare begins!!
Rosita -
Some people are real bastards, pardon the language. It seems some have an Evil in them that cannot be taken away without death. I hope things are better now. Not every man is like that. Thanks for entering.
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Oh Ms. Elizabeth, now you're all safe and happy!
you're fantastic!! thanks for the comment!!
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Im glad you got out of this relationship im sure you it took some time you probally felt that if you did everything he said he would change and everything would be ok but you realized that wasn't going to happen, I know cause I was in a relationship that took some time to get out of I can still remember the verbal abuse, the beatings and just hoping it would stop one day but I finally came to the realization that I had to escape so I ran. He stalked me for a while but it did end and I think I became a stronger person and im sure you are to. You show your emotions very strongly here I feel this was well written and I liked it much.
Elizabeth
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This one needs to be put in one of the abuse contests honey.. this is a really great piece of work! Thought provoking and very truth ridden laced with pain, hate and anger... I love this poem!
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This is very sad and very heartfelt. It's also different from anything that I have read in this contest. Thank you for sharing this and good luck to you.
*Ktulu Blackwolfe* -
This is a very sad work you penned here dear... very poignant and strong. i hope this is not something you are going through. Thank you for sharing it with me sister. Blessed be, Nena
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oh
hhhhhmmm . . . i see
hope it helps -
On further thought, I believe this will have a positive effect on most those who need it. Anyway, so I hope.
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It seems that both are suicidal and maybe homocidal. This is a very powerful poem. Does it have an aim. I decided to write two poems on suicide to try to discourage people from trying it. Not my usual writes indeed. They were firsts, but I think they are good. Give them another read and see what you think.
Love Andy -
WOW!!!! so different from your other works i read. I feel the pain in this and it brings tears to my eyes. I pray that this never happens to anyone. I just hope that this hasn't happened to you or anyone you know. I love it and I hope you write more. Great write chica. pray there's more to come.*huggles* ~~~~~~kitten~~~~~~
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omg! Rosie it's beautiful! And saddening, I feel the characters pain
. I love it, you know how to capture emotion and use it in a poem!!!!! And a story, but I am comenting on a poem, so you get the idea, lol. LOVE IT! Keep it up!
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