This story takes place in New York City at a hospital that specializes in heart patients. In a single occupied room is Chris McColley. Chris is a member of the New York Fire Department and has been for twenty five years.
He's been awarded the Medal of Valor three times for going beyond the call of duty of a fireman, and placing his life on the line to save others.
He's here because of a recent heart attack and his second attempt of heart surgery was a failure. He was notified two days before that a third attempt would not be possible, and his only chance for survival would be a transplant. He's now on a list for a transplant and not much hope of it being to soon.
This was the furthest thing from his mind while his wife and three children stood at his bed side praying with tear filled eyes. At this moment there is a light knock at his door, and there in the entry stood a young woman holding a baby in her arms.
"Please excuse me for intruding at a time like this, my name is Christine and this is my daughter. You don't know me but I know of you all to well", she says. Chris's eyes opened, with confusion on his face as he listened to her speak.
"You see, twenty four years ago you saved a young nineteen year old woman from a fire. The flames had already engulfed the house and she was trapped in a back room of the house. When everyone else had given up hope, you charged into the house and fought the fire back until you found her unconscious under a fallen beam. You pulled her to safety, not even thinking of your own. No one knew at that time but she was also two months pregnant."
"This woman was my mother and I am the result of your braveness that day, for you not saved one..but two. My mother never forgot you after that, and she named me after you."
The only sound you could hear in the room was a faint beep from the machine hooked to Chris's heart. His eyes were teared with happiness of what she was saying, and he asked "Speaking of your mother, is she here with you? I would love to see her." Christine took a deep breath as she moved closer to his bed and said "That's one of the reasons I'm here, my mother was in a car accident two days ago, her injuries were to severe and she knew she wouldn't live, and she died this morning; but before she died she scribbled on a piece of paper and asked me to give it to you."
As she's passing the note to Chris the doctors stepped in and tell his family that they have a donor and he would have to go to surgery now. As they are wheeling Chris to surgery he opens the note Christine had given him from her mother.
He read:
"I want to thank you for saving my life twenty four years ago. If not for that I would never had the pleasure of having my daughter and enjoying her in my life this past twenty three years. I would never had known the joy of a grand daughter, and for this I have never forgotten you, and that day you really showed me your heart...so today.. I give you mine. Thank you."
Chris clinched the note tight in his hands, and his eyes full of tears as the doors to his operating room close behind him.
*(The operation was a success, and Christine's daughter calls Chris grandpa.)
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Author notes
Written February 23rd, 2006
A contest entry
- So Many Options Only ONE Winner! (Short stories and poems) I wanna see what you got =]= by Popping Balloons.
730 points, ended April 4, 2008, 21 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm in the mood for anything, SO GO FOR IT! by Chocoholic156.
750 points, ended April 17, 2008, 73 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best... by Jack22.
600 points, ended April 11, 2008, 22 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - short, short story - 200 words or less by Carly Pop.
525 points, ended April 24, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Upset me, if you can. by DesolatELifE.
1000 points, ended June 18, 56 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your very best!!!! Tons of points! by God is my reality.
1450 points, ended November 24, 256 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Nice one, such a powerful and sad write. It didn't really seem like a poem, more like a story.
Very strong message. Thanks for entering.
5/10
- Blue
beauty
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Wow...this is really powerful...such a sad and beautiful write. Is this true? I am curious. This peice was written very well. I do not prefer such long pieces like this, but I think that it is a beautiful write, and is worth reading. Thank you for sharing with me. And everyone else here on AP. Good luck in my contest.
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Well it's not as sad as something would need to be for me to call it sad, but it is brilliant.
'showed me your heart...so today.. I give you mine' - very good.
I looked at it, and dreaded the thought of reading it, because it's the length that I would call long, but it was a pleasure. Thanks.
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wow. powwrful story. 5
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To me it should have won a gold. I think this is excellent. Such a very descriptive write and I could imagine standing in the hospital room with Chris and his family. great job.
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This actually brought tears to my eyes... one of the best... hands down!
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I wasn't thinking of story poems and I really don't read them much but this one was very wonderful. It was very lovely. Thank you for entering this.
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Wow, is this a true story? Do you know these people?
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I have to ask... is this based on a real experience? This is a really heart felt poem, i usually don't like story poems as much, but this one really touched me. This was really well written. Thank you for writing this and entering it in my contest.
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OMG so sad..and yet so filled with hope...I love the story, but it can't be called a poem. Thanks anyways for sharing and wow...it was great.
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wow this realy moved me fantastic story =]
soo hard to judge even in the early stages=[ -
I didn't really expect to get stories inside this contest but since it is in, and I said I was going to comment all
Anyway, this is a beautiful poem you have written here. Very emotional actually
Thank you for entering the contest, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
I don't get emotional over a lot of reading/writes, but this brought tears to my eyes.
WHAT AN EXCELLENT AND MAGNIFICENT STORY.
A masterpiece.
So beautiful
I am left speechless.
Thanks for sharing & entering my contest A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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awes
Almost, I don't cry easy though. That was so wow. You write these!?
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Gave me goose bumps. I love good endings..and this one has many! Well done...I enjoyed it alot, thanks for sharing it with me
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Oh my!!! I got all teared up reading this!! What a wonderful story.
Just think... perhaps there is such a thing as karma and what you give out, you get back. In a way I hope so.. for I try to give to others when I can, and maybe one day a lil happiness will come mine do you think?
Anyway, I just loved it... thank you so much for sending me the link!!
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A wonderful story...
Thanks so much for entering!
Write on.
*PEACE*
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Not sure if this was a true story or not, but it was a good one nevertheless.
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Merry meet,
Congratulations on winning the Silver. This was a tough competition with a lot of good poetry, you should be proud. This is a sad story, with lots of emotion. There isn't anything else that I could add that others haven't already mentioned. Congratulaltions again on your win.
Amythest -
Congrats for second place! I loved this a lot! :]
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Very great write. I've got goosebumps on my arms and tears coming out of my eyes. Very emotional and just fantastic. Good luck in the contest~
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this was a very good write,and it was full of emotion. i do agree,and i do belive that you have a very good and strong talent. it was quite emotional,and it was packed with situations and words that clung to your heart and touched your soul in a way that was indescribable. but it is not what i was looking for. even though it was written very well,i am more after poems than stories. but if you like,you are more than welcome to enter again as many times as you want to.
*autumn* -
Wow, that was really touching and emotional. True story, or no? Either way, it was quite moving...great job and good luck!
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great
awww!!!! thats so cute and sweet. I love it so much. It's beautiful! i love it!. -
Thank you for sharing this heartwrenching story. It was just what I needed. I loved it. keep writing and touching our hearts. You do have a talent for it. Loven
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awesome! I loved it man! keep it up!
See ya later!
-Angel- -
beautiful, enchanting story
gives someone so much hope =] -
Very Good
this is very beautiful but very sad here...As others...i too was in tears...i really like how you wrote this and i think they should let you stay in the contest...Best of luck in the contest!!!
Amanda Rhea
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a beautiful sad written story here..tears here..I applaud this write! if not for others to help, save, and care , where would we all be? great write.
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Oh my god! You had me in tears!!!!
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Everyone has a Guardian Angel. She was his.
I can't say enough. This is a truly wonderful gift. Both to read this poem and for everyone involved. Thank you. -
Beautiful!
I agree with everyone who commented on this. You have a wonderful and creative talent. Your work is very moving and heartfelt. You have touched my heart as well as thirteen of my friends here with me today. Thank you for sharing this and keep writing these wonderful stories!
Allen0826 -
It's official, you have the touch; the power to move people. Such a wonderful idea, and you really put it accross well, it's so emotive. You were right, I did love it!
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Very wonderful story, full of images and emotions. Great read from start to finish and absolutely touches the heart. keep your pen forever flowing!
Bunny
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i live in NY, and when i read the title for some strange reason i was hoping to read something more about sept 11.
This was a nice touching story. yet, i think you need to read more on how to write stoories, since you are missing quotes when people speak. When a new person starts to speak, you are too start a new paragraph. you are a good story writer, buti think you should brush up on those skills, on using dialogue.
this was a pleasure to read. thank you.
best wishes,
L4L -
this was a very touching story, amazing things can happen to people, and sometimes it comes for a shock, I bet Chris is like lost for words, lol so sad with the mom though, wow, very well done, thanks for sharing, keep up the awesome poetry...
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Omg such a wonderful story!!!
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WOW when you left the comment telling me that i should read this i thought that you were just being some person that promotes their other work by leaving comments on other people but i am really glad that i read this. I am in school right now and my friend and I were just talking about how people can be so selfish but we weren't really talking about how people can be good and do good. so i thought that it was really weird that i decided to read this now because of that conversation.
Is this story true, or based on a true story? i was hesitent to read this because at a first glance it looked kind of long for me to be reading in school but i am really glad that i decided to. it helped make my day a little bit happier and at the same time a little sad because it brought back memories of my brother and his failed heart transplant, so he died when he was 53 days old.
But ya, this was a really good story and i plan to read much more of your stuff. Great job. Keep it up. GB and GGHL. ~~~~~Bec~~~~~ -
Wow Driftwood, i am so incredibly impressed it's untrue.
I remember reading your comment that i would like this, and thinking that was perhaps a tad presumptious of you, but you were absolutely right.
This touched a part of me i wasn't even sure i had...i guess it's the same bit that makes me want to watch Pretty Woman after a breakup...thank you so much for this, it's beautiful. Karma is what leaps to mind when i read this, and karma is one of the few things i truly believe in. You struck chords deep within me.
-Aphrodite -
I love this...it's so heartfelt...You are a very wonderful person...You can capture emotions, irony, and love....Great job...Scale 1 to 5...I give you a ....... 10!!!
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this is absolutely amazing. i cried when i read this. you did a magnificant job on this. truly heart wrenching. from the very beginning i was hooked, and i still am. this is definitely a piece that i will read more than once. thank you for telling me about some of your other work. i loved this, and i can't wait to read more. this is absolutely amazing. perfect in every way.
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This is an incredibly emotional story! I have tears running down my face as I try to type this comment. You have told the story very well. You captured my attention at the very beginning and took me along with Chris on this journey. Absolutely flawless! By the way, you owe me a box of Kleenex!
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incredible poem. very incredible. i dont normally like this particular format, but this is one of those rare exceptions that bring it into gold in my eyes. very inspirational.good luck in the contest!
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The only thing I can say is that this story brought me to tears...thank you for entering it.
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i think i read this already before the conteset but i like it heaps its so sad and happy at the same time, thanks for the entry and good luck
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Very much an emotional piece and a unique idea. A lot of different things in there to pull at the reader's heartstrings for sure. You definitely know how to make your reader's feel what you're writing.
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That was just the most beautiful thing to read - very er. .heartwarming despite your spelling mistake (You don't know me but I know of you all to well) Should that not be "too well" rather than "to well"?
It does leave you wondering how on earth the lady concerned knew that the fireman was in hospital at all.. was she stalking him or something? LOL.. but even so.. what a beautiful and sensitive thing to write. -
~A~
hi this is emily"s little sister and im not worrying about puncuation so here is my comment(without caps lol) that story was so good! where did you find that? well i became a christain when i was aroud 12 but then something BIG happened that discouraged me. im way off track but im trying my hardest to get back but anyway im enjoying my time off from GOD and know that that is wrong but i pray and still respect and love Him. i just dont know if i want it to be the same as before! im having so much fun now....if you get this and you have yahoo messenger e mail me @ stricktly_love@yahoo.com......maybe you can be my mentor too! thanks!!!! -
wow! this story really touched my heart. i feel touched by this story because i plan on becoming a firefighter and really appreciate the effort and detail that you put into your story. i also have one question: is this based on actual events or was this fictional?
again, fantastic job on this story and i hope i see more stories like this in the future! -
This is very good and I certainly love firemen, but the only thing that bothered me here is that the woman had been in a fatal car wreck, right? So how was she able to compose such a long note? I'm not trying to be an insensitive ass (this story is a true tearjerker) but with regard to the realism of the story I hope you see my point. Good job! - oce
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excellent
Wow isnt good enough. So powerful and full of emotion. Excellent write -
i had to step away from my pc to get hold of myself before i could type my response. i'm still sitting here, trembling in tears over this heart touching story. my praises to chris as a fireman and the many dangers he faces daily and going truly above and beyond the call of duty. my praises also to your mom. her memory and heart lives on inside of chris. i believe your mom is living on as a guadian angel through chris. she too did something above the call of duty. her life on earth did not end in vain. she helped to give another human being a chance to live at the end of her life. i know she is in heaven dancing with jesus with a brand new heart of gold. i hope you consider publishing your story in a book or magazine like readers digest. its a real human interest story. also a great reminder to be an organ doner. i still have tears flowing over this loving write. gods blessings be with you...
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This is very beautifully written. Full of emotion! I was actually crying when I got to the end. I feel that if everyone in the world were to do some act of kindness at least once a day, then we would not be in the shape we are in now. The man in your poem was repaid his kindness in the greatest way possible. I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Edited on Mar 17, 10:06 p.m. because 'mispelling'. -
this is a powerful story that has so many angles to comment on, but there are so many comments already. I don't want to steal any thunder from the write or those who have already commented. I wish I had written this. That is twice today I have been able to say that. RC
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WOW! ALOT OF EMOTION IN YOUR STORY. I LOVE IT. IT IS SO HEART FELT. I COULD PICTURE THE HOSPITAL ROOM WITH THIS MAN NAME CHRIS AND HIS WIFE AND KIDS. IT IS A VERY EMOTIONAL STOR AS I SAID BEFORE AND NOW I HAVE TO ASK IF THIS STORY IS TRUE OR DID YOU MAKE IT UP? ANYWAYS GOOD LUCK WITH THE CONTEST. KEEP WRIGHTING. AWESOME WORK!
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This is good. . . As someone in a previous comment said, it is a little cliche'd, but it is still very well written. Good luck in your contest
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Another excellent write. You have a real gift for pullnig the reader into the story and playing on their emotions. Very nicely done. The ultimate gift.
~ Lee A. Stone -
this is truly amazing i love it, thanks so much for the read, and good luck in the contest
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wonderful
this is a beautiful poem and it is really special to me because my mom family is from new york and some still live there about five years ago my grandmother died of a blood clot is the heart and they say she would have survived ifshe had a heart donor. Thank you for asking me to read thid i probably would have but i feel honored that you see me as a special daughter like that. I like all of the styles of poetry you write in and its a good thing to change once in a while but whatever style of writing you use its fine with me so please don't be scared by what i write. You had me so close to crying that my throat tightened and my eyes started to go out of focus. I love your poetry daddy.
kat
you loving and dutiful daughter -
Oh!!! This one gave me chills, and that doesn't happen very often when I am reading this on here. A couple of my friends can write and give me chills, but not many other people. You did superb on this!!!!!
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Applaud
This is a powerful story of a lot of emotions rolled into one, a real tear jerker and hope is the winner. Her life to the one who saved her is true thanks of a kind that is not often witnessed. Excellent story, well worthy of applause.
Best Wishes...
Georges. -
woah
Oh my goodness. Is this real? If you made this up, then I'd be extra surprised. This is an amazingly beautiful story. I really love this and the power that is inside of it. WOW. -
omg this is so beutiful, so true about the tissues, wow. thankyou again for sharing this, urs becca
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Excellent
What a tremendous write! It so truly captures the nature of a firefighters life and with a great twist at the end, which adds to the drama. Very well done! -
Ohenry would have been proud of this story. If this is a true story it's a classic. It's not only a heart touching piece but it's also a celebration of the human spirit and a testament to those heroes who sacrifice their lives that others can live.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
ps. Thanks for reading and commenting again and thanks too for sharing this work with me. -
"and that day you really showed me your heart...so today.. I give you mine. " was my favorite part, and i liked the story, but it was kind of cliche'? i still think it was good, but ive heard so many stories like this, like in chickensoup for the soul books, and lame forewards and such...maby if you elongated it and added more to the plot it would hold more interest. But it was very well written, and i dont know all of the ones that you told me to read, cuz i cant find the list, but i will if you tell me one by one to read them haha...or you could just put a comment on my authors page, that would make it easier if your not going to be online very long
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beautiful kismet
You have a way with heartstrings my friend, i love your work. -
You are absolutely right, I am not sorry I read this! I have tears in my eyes again. You have a talent for entrancing narrative as well as the gift of poetry. I did not look for errors. I was too caught up in the sentiment of the story. Thank you, again, for sharing. (LOL Grannyeri and I have the same response! I almost wrote the same thing she did without haveing read her comment!)
~ Karen ~ -
Excellent.
This is such a natural write!! This is something that really could happen, any time, anywhere. You had me hooked, reading this ... although the ending was a tiny bit predictable, it was still sensational. Excellently written. -
absolutely amazing
I totally agree with the person who commented before me. AMAZING story. It really shows the kindness that some people have in their hearts, to the extent of even giving it to someone else. You are a truly gifted writer...you're going straight to my favorites list
Michelle -
Wow another amazing write from you. Your heart is amazing and I can tell that is where you write from. This was just amazing. It brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing and never let your talent die. Again I wish I could appluse more than once.
Love Sandra -
~*~ WIPES THE SMEARED MASCARA TEARS AWAY AND SOBS*~* this is so sad. this is a remarkable story and proves once more how creative you are. thank you for pointing this out to me . when i got your comment i actually went to get a tissue box just in case . i wasnt disapointed. it was so cute. its so sentimental . did you write it after a specific person. it just seems so real to me. i just love it . man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you got me again!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*~*SAVE THE FORGOTTEN*~*
-MARIA -
Oh my gosh this is so good. It pulled tightly on my heart strings. You are very creative. I like how you used a play on words to add drama to the event. I also liked how you didn't reveal who this mystery lady was at first. It added mystery to it. At first I thought she might have been there to tell him it was his time to die. Nice write and write on.
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This is an incredable heartfelt story. You wrote it with such perfection it was easy to get caught up in teh story and feel every emotion possible, saddness, happiness, the love and respect they shared... This is an incredable story and they way you wrote it only adds to how special it really is.
When I saw the title I was expecting a miliraty poem but This was much more than what I expected.
Thank you for writting this.... and sharing it with all of us here in All Poetry...
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thank you for steering me to this. I am always in awe that no matter what we say a good deed is always rewarded at the end. Not necessarily as obvious as in this story , so many times we more than likely do not even notice ( for we as humans do have the tendency to only see the bad and wallow in it) if we were to open our eyes as well as our hearts to give and to recieve, we would indeed feel blessed and this world would be a much better place. It is a circle indeed , and what goes around does come around. Thank you for sharing,
reenie
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Wow just a great piece of work and the whole poem tinged for me I still feel them and that's what it's about a true story I take as. Love this good luck to ya.
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wow this piece shows mb tht ther is som light 4 humans out ther.
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I write this through tears - what a heartwrenching story you have told here - goes to show what goes around comes around - wonderful!
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Noticed a typo in the second paragraph, "and not much hope of it being to soon." Change "to" to "too."
In the third paragraph I found this sentence odd and switching tenses, "At this moment there is a light knock at his door..." Wouldn't it be more correct as, "At THAT moment?" You continue to do similiar things throughout the story.
It might be nice if you also spelt out the numbers.
Okay, so I'm a bit of a spelling freak (even though I'm not perfect myself).
Anyway... the story was very nice. It reminded me of the movie, Bloodwork. I don't know if you've seen it. It's not really like this but does involve a heart transplant.
I really liked the connections in this piece. It is very life-like in it's magic - so to speak. It shows that everything has some sort of meaning I guess.
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very good
wow that is a touching story -
Awwww WOW! This is really heart-touching. It is so deep in such a short space of words. Absolutely beautiful, brought a tear to my eyes.
Kitty x -
Spectacular!
This is a marvelous write! Tremendous emotion displayed! I commend you for this wonderful story! You have brought tears to my eyes and warmth to my heart with your words! God bless you! Keep up the excellent work! Debi -
A++++
*wipes tears* Wow this is good, I am an avid story reader and this one is beautiful. For once i found one story that has meaning and hope. No dark thoughts! Great job. This was wonderful!!! -
OMG this is such a great touching story, i love to read stories of hero's such as Chris. This is a great write, you would be really good with a short story. Keep up the good work.
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Poignant, cathartic .
Thankyou for making me aware of this write Driftwood.I am amazed by the beauty of the story.It imbues how a circle of good is possible.I broke my heart reading it,I had to stop twice and come back to critique.This is sensational.I see one typo,where there is a capital H instead of lower case.I would slightly reword how he read the letter and possibly put the doctor stepped into the room rather than step.These are miniscule points and only that.I may even be wrong as no one else has mentioned them,I only mention them as I know you are striving for perfection.I wish I could write with such skill and talent.I am absolutely positive that you have a future as a published author,100% positive.Everything I have read of yours has a depth to it which touches the soul by gently informing it.My advice would be to sort through your collection of writes and seek advice re publication.I have some info re contacting Mark Victor Hansen/Jack Canfield co authors of the Chicken Soup series of books that have such success.I don`t know if the info is still relevant,I just looked it up from a book published in `96.But,worth a try.That is where your direction may ly my poetic ap friend,in a collection in your own book akin to the chicken series as you write such moving work.I am so hoping you continue to write come what may,I am honoured to read your heartwarming creativity.Love and light,Yvette -
this is very cool, again
I'd almost get bored...
that note... wonderful
that's all I've got to say
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This story really touched my heart. A story like this tends to reinforce ones faith in mankind. I don't know if it's true but I know it could be. You did a great job writing it. Shancy.
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OMG! Why why why do you do that to me. *wipes tears* Your life is filled with so much, and I feel so blessed that you write about it, and let us in a bit.
Good luck in the contest my friend.
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loved it
This was great! The long read was worth it! Abesolutely beautiful! Great job!
moment liver -
This is so wonderful my dear big big brother.I think it's worthy of applauding
for you've done a great job here.
I see that my uncle Gary(gets)likes your works too.
I didn't know you two know each other.
A good news or nad news for me?
Wish you luck in the contest.
Shahrzad
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How nice.
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Beautiful
I'm speechless. This is an amazing piece, it's very touching and heartfelt. -
this is wonderfull!!. in a place where everyone is searching for subjects to write about you bring to us the true nature of story telling. love and hope. i applaud you for showing me the simple things still hit the hardest. well done you should be very proud of this cause i know everyone that has read this is proud of you. well done.
john -
Superb
Woa, this one hits the heart like a sledgehammer. Forget the pulling of the heart strings, this one tears at them. A very wonderfully beautiful story, Driftwood. Is this real? This seemed so real it was an incredible read. Most excellently done, my friend. Bravo! -
very much worth the wait in that 1) I am not a vbery good story reader, 2) My patience wears thin and it didn't here, and 3) The first one I have ever started and finished, and 4) What a story of valour. Liked the read very much!
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the heart speaks louder than words spoken in this loving piece. truly touched my reart as i read it.
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A P P L A U S E !!!!
What better gift? Beautifully, compassionately penned, you've written a winner here. Thank you!
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. -
You know what...this is fantastic. Such a great story line with a very loud message to all. I really enjoyed reading this, and it is one of those types what belong in a book.
Martin -
I'm at A loss for words. Well written!
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