The zephyr gently traverses the glade
sending silent shivers through each blade
picking petals, letting them cascade.
He Loves Me.
I wonder why I sit here on my own?
a solitude that I have never known,
it's not like him to leave me all alone.
He Loves Me Not.
His tenderness and trust will always be
the values that set all my senses free,
the passion in his eyes for only me.
He Loves Me.
Where is he when he should be in my arms?
soothing all my fears with loving balms
not leaving me to deal with doubt and qualms.
He Loves Me Not.
His kisses like a whisper on my face
words of love that time cannot erase
dreams that took us to a different place.
He Loves Me.
Was that phone call simply just a friend?
a little bit of business to attend
why this blind belief, it's just pretend?
He Loves Me Not.
The petals waive discarded in the air
dying, like the love we used to share
I see it now, he has gone to her.
Pick Another Daisy.
Author notes
Written February 22nd, 2006
A contest entry
- Faeries family group contest (members only) by Queen Maab.
500 points, ended March 23, 2006, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Silver into Gold! by Celticpoet.
300 points, ended June 9, 2007, 42 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TRIPLETS ~ painlessly! #133 Allpoetry invited by Lyndon.
3500 points, ended October 31, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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A lovely poem! A little love story using the old flower game develops into something else and then ends on a little comic upturn, great stuff
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It seems like a simple love poem until the last two stanzas; then the element of surprise, drama and change enter in as well as humour. A story of blighted love will catch my interest every time.
Great rhymes and flow.
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Cute!
I enjoyed this very much, the refrains complete each stanza perfectly - especially the last. Good luck!
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This is very original. Nice job.
I love the concept
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Wonderfully Clever
I love how you added that last line to all your stanzas. It's an obvious stroke of genious. Your imagery is awesome and I love the struggle portrayed as this person is almost in denial sitting there picking daisies hoping one will maybe tell her something different. The last stanza really brought that theme out. Awesome write!
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The zephyr gently traverses the glade
sending silent shivers through each blade
picking petals, letting them cascade.
He Loves Me.
^ strong stanza
the rest needs stronger description
what is tenderness? -
Thank you for entering!
Thank you for your lovely entry...and for being First to enter my contest....Dan xx -
very out-standing beautiful poem...I wrote about daisy too maybe you should check my "daisy", personifiction poem.
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Thankyou both queen Maab and Faerie for second place in this contest,and thanks to everyone that joined in.
Val
Edited on Mar 23, 1:00 p.m. because ''. -
Astounding. Simply put, this piece is brilliant. I love the image and the whole idea behind it. A perfect title.
Sissy Maab
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Wow mommy! This is excelent! I love how the verses change so they comply with the "He loves me" "He loves me not" It is so well written. The emotions are really well presented as well. Amazing write, i am very jealous
Keep the ink flowing
xoxox
-faerie-
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I CAN RELATE SO WELL TO THIS WRITE. VERY HUMOROUS. GOOD LUCK.
I LOVED IT! I'LL JUST BE OVER HERE IN THE GARDEN...PICKING A FEW MORE DAISIES. HE LOVES ME... HE LOVES ME NOT.... -
This certainly weaves a lovely spell all the way through it
I have to agree with everyone else, that the use of; he loves
me... he loves me not.. theme was used to perfection..
you have something here to be really proud of...well done..
and lots of applauses...lapoe... -
great device employed here, which added an enchanting structure to your poem....and why DO daisies always end with "He loves me not"...and i ALWAYS had to pick another daisy....absolutely wonderful writing....im going to applaud and bookmark this one. ~tryst
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you are a very clever and talanted writer this was fabulous I really enjoyed it
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AWESOME JOB!!!!! ENJOYED IT!!!!!
I love this piece Elfin, it is gorgeous, the flow the words were chosen perfectly, like pieces of a puzzle, they fit right in, great jjob, thank you for sharing, AngelicMistress -
impressive
I was intrigued by the title, and thus driven to click. I'm glad I did. The "He loves me/ He loves me not" concept is something I've never seen written so well. Wow. I thik that's all I can say. Just "wow". heh
Great write. Great read.
<3Casey -
sweet
This poem was really interesting. The well known "he loves me, he loves me not" thing is super cute. I like the title, too. Pretty good, major props. -
Excellent!!
Wonderful poem!!! Keep up the good work. -
this reminds me of when I was younger and plucked flowers to find out if my crushes liked me... your poem made me see how my view on love has changed in recent years. this was a sweet and refreshing read.
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Oh!!! I love the way you manipulated the "He Love Me, He Loves Me Not" verses in this piece......Very clever........The last line made for a great ending to this marvelous write.
Smiles
your way >>>>>>>>> Sandy San-d
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wow, this is something, i mean, i honestly don't know what to say, this was an amazing read this poem. keep it flowing. good luck in the contest.
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