The wind blows around the playground,
Like the breath of lost souls,
Chasing their forgotten moments of life.
I can sit here,on my swing,
Waiting for the wind to call me.
Waiting till my breath has gone cold.
My mind is clear, sitting here,
The movement of time slows down.
My pink cracked hands entwine with the chains,
Telling a love story of their own.
Creaking, creeping,
Backwards and forwards,
This swing of mine can sing a song,
Only I can understand.
The wind blows around the playground,
Telling it's story of time,
Backwards and forwards,
Creaking and creeping,
This soul of mine can sing a song,
Only the wind understands.
Author notes
Written February 22nd, 2006
A contest entry
- Well i've been lacking something to make me smile or think really, really hard. by The Obsidian Blade.
300 points, ended March 13, 2006, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
excellent!
hey i like this poem! my kind of metaphysical writing...i love the imagery...personification of the wind works so well...reflecting lonliness so completely....keep up the good work chuck!
-
Wow this poem not only brought the sights, but the feeling of the wind, and the cracked hands around the chains. well done.
-
excellent!!
bloodclat!!!this is hot!!!!great job my man....keep it up!!!i loved therhyming inner this poem...it is great...pardon my patua english...i feel kindda high right now...anyway this is the bomb...should give you some shiny ones!!!!great stuff!!! -
Wonderfully written.
Oh wow! This is awesome work, I love it. I love the way you use metaphors and the rhythmic pace of this poem. It goes quite deep, yet its a feeling we all have sometimes. This is great work...and like always, I love any poem that mentions soul! -
"Waiting till my breath has gone cold."
I'm hearing you. I nearly stopped breathing after reading this.
-
Great work!! Have you ever picked up a pebble and wondered what story it could tell?? Great imagry and flow!!!
A+ -
I loved your poem, please write more soon as I would like to read more of your work in the future. I liked the languaged and the structure although unusual was effective as was the mood of the piece
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
4 old applause
