There is brilliance here -
when light touches water
and skids headfirst into
the soft flutter of wings
unfolding to conquer
wind.
It is here that death
is familiar as my own hands;
irretrievable as that illusion -
eternity, but still beautiful
enough to crave.
In this half-lit moment
I resemble Boreas,
Undying, ever moving and
it is there, in that predawn
glimpse of morning,
that I
am caught.
Ava Noire
February 22, 2006
Author notes
simple appreciation for the world around me
Thanks for the inspiration.
Written February 22nd, 2006
In a list
- Possibilities for AP Book 2 • next in list
- Astralshepherd's List of Amazing Poets at All Poetry • next in list
A contest entry
- catch your breath by Cat.
300 points, ended February 25, 2006, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
-
Caught indeed but what a beautiful scene to be caught within. I'm not sure what I like better, a morning sunrise or a fiery evening sunset, both are beautiful. It's raining here all day, nothing really beautiful to look at outside, lol
-
I am so sorry that I don't get it and that so many do. I guess I do not have an audience for my thoughts and that is OK. I'm going to ponder this for a moment and be back!
-
Thanks for reading. I feel that this IS to the point and I don't think its cryptic, but to each his own. I appreciate your honesty.
-
Very nice, tremendous imagery and metaphor but trying too hard.Be less cryptic and more to the point in my opinion. Really nice work and a good read. Thanksfor the thoughts and words.
-
The first image, for this edge walker, caught me and I was blinded by the glint of the first shard of light into my eyes. Then the vision of awakening flight, how often have I stood at the edge of some cliff and argued about testing my wings before . . .
Death tasted becomes life and love announces itself immediately,no matter how hard we try to deny it. Choices? Or is it always the choice? We flutter on, as insubstantial and yet moving as the Borealis. Perhaps, we cut this chord and fly,taste wind. Or are we kites tethered in this life by this mortal flesh, this sensating tunnel that seems to have a life of it own that we just live within.
Caught? in this moment, so articulatly put, yes. The next, you could know that place and time are constructs and you are smeared across infinity seeking a place to be in the next. Continuity is a paradigm for our comfort and the stars sparkle because we require air to breathe.
I am, obviously, touched. Not in the head, but in the heart, by the beauty I have found here. In this moment of my heart, I can only say thank you from the base of my joy.
Love,Tom B. -
Hi Ava,
I have read this before and I thought I have already commented on it. It is nice to see you writing again. Brilliant work.
Cheers! Eris
-
In this half-lit moment
I resemble Boreas,
Undying, ever moving and
it is there, in that predawn
glimpse of morning,
that I
am caught.
This was highly enchanting...gripping like velvet gloves warmed under dying moonbeams. There is such a gentle message, silken and richly colored by clouds about to flitter away behind mountains ready for slumber. This not only caught but captured as well. Excellently done and a real pleasure to read. -
You're right, there is brilliance here! This makes me want to conquer flight, too--absolutely catches my breath. I watched about 500 gulls one night rise instantly into the air, like luminescent moons orbiting an unseen sun in the dark, rising like a whirlpool into the navy night. Only their white underbellies were visible in the dock lights. It was unearthly!
~ Karen ~
-
I don't know whether i've the right to make comment on such a nice piece of work or not..but i want to say "WONDERFUL"..
-
Hi, this is the very gentle side of you that could become very endearing, soft and gentle on the mind,this was vey beautiful and clear as a crystal spring,you have my applause. Di
-
You always amaze me. From start to ending, this poem is wonderful. I like the brevity of your work.
-
Congrats on this wonderful piece, the second stanza was my favorite, as it says so very much about the inner you.
Peace Muddy -
Congratulations on winning gold with this poem - already commented on it before when going through the entries. Well written.
-
You pretend this is simple but what this actually is- is a touch of brilliance :
There is brilliance here -
when light touches water
and skids headfirst into
the soft flutter of wings
unfolding to conquer
wind.
Those words capture the reader from the first syllable and there is nothing following which does anything less than enthrall the reader. Tina, this is an amazing write- so, so good to see you penning again.
It is poetry like this which makes me happy i ran this contest.
Mary
-
-
North wind
thank you very much for your comments.
-
Gorgeous, simply gorgeous you've captured the moment perfectly... I won't wish you luck since I don't think you'll need it.
-
such a beautiful piece of imagry as well as writing style. how wondrous is the beautiful creation that god prepared for us.
-
You had me hooked at your first line-- this is a beautiful piece of art. I just can't get over your words. I'm going to read it again!
Ok I've read it again (a few times) and it makes that swelling in my chest, a subtle lump in my throat, it's wonderful, and I'm getting frustrated because I can't explain what it makes me feel or see exactly. Good luck!
~Love Elaine -
This seems sad, but there is hope in this too! I like what you have done with this one. Great job, The Shaker
-
Excellent
I really liked both the similes and the images they created. -
magnificent
wow.
It just flows so well, like a masterpeice. Like a river. Like... GENIUS! it gives off a kind of peaceful allure, an escape almost from the harsh, chaotic realities of the modern world. i also liked just the serenity and the diction. your choice of words was perfect for the sensitive tone.
one question, what is boreas? -
Beautiful imagery in this piece. Sort of a quiet feeling, a serene peace........I really like this and the last verse tied this pen together perfectly.......
Smiles
your way >>> Sandy San-d
-
This poem is good example of some of the natural wanders that take place in our universe. Very nice poem.
-
Such an intriquing background to accompany this poem - they fit together very well. Enjoyed just catching my breath as I read your poem.
-
it is there, in that predawn
glimpse of morning,
that I
am caught.
That was my favoite part. This is a beautiful poem. I agree with the other reviewers. The background fits perfectly. Amazing work. Keep it up
-
LoveExploadedFirstStarOfForever
Predawn twilight
the promise of Gods new day
"it is there, in that predawn
glimpse of morning,
that I
am caught."
You have been sorely missed
-
i loved the first verse....a beautiful poem ~tryst
-
this made me think of wandering, a time walking within thoughts in the early hours, you find yourself at the waters edge, reflections, life is what we make it to be. death, it is just a part of life, we worry too much about it, there's nothing we can do but face it when it comes
-
A
I like this alot very magical and descrpitive moments portrayed here, great job! -
Thank you. I always like to hear what my words make people think or feel, whether it is the intended message or not. Each person is unique in how they perceive things, and no one is to say what is right or wrong. Thanks for reading.
-
This poem shows once again how the natural wonders of this world can take our breath away. It is both humbling and exciting all at once. It was a real joy to read this poem today in the mix here - it is full of its own fresh and magcial style.
-
This is so beautiful. Reading your authors notes I realize my first thoughts were actually not what you meant but I still found this quite beautiful. I actually felt like this was about death but not in a dark way. As if the soul was leaving the body and creating beautiful images on its way to the afterlife. Just lovely.
~Lyrical
-
the first part is the only thing that gave me any sense of imagery. whether that's the premise or not, don't know. but i could picture a woman (girl) who was transforming into another creature, a woman/butterfly of sorts.
that's the imagery in which i got with the first part. as if a metamorphesus was taking place and the rest of the piece was just the breath of that first verse.
of course i could have just read way into the piece than i probably should have. sometimes that's the way i read. i see more than what is needed to be seen and the interpretation is lost 'cause i took it to another boundary.
either way -- i found it to be a good piece.
-
It has nothing to do with a fascination with death, only the mere knowledge that death is present all around us at all times. In order to truly live you must be aware of death and how close to dying you could be at any moment.
I do not refer to eternity meaning that is what death promises us. Death promises one thing that I am aware of and that is the unknown. No one else knows for sure what death does promise. Despite what religion states, no one knows for sure.
This poem is about seeing something beautiful, yet feeling a sadness that it is not lasting, that nothing in this life is lasting.
In the end I speak of becoming like the wind, meaning simply that, to me, to die would be to just slip into someplace unseen.
And I am caught in all things; beauty is everywhere, in almost all things. Death is also part of that beauty.
Thank you for reading and for your honest remarks. I do like hearing what my poems make you think.
-
this is quite interesting... like your previous poems there is still that haunting fascination with death but i find it a bit toned down... i don't quite understand what the first stanza has to do with the rest of the poem except perhaps for the impressionistic link... unlike NoIQ, i don't quite see "where" the speaker gets "caught"... is it caught between the weary temporality of the world we live in (as signified by the lights on the water and the wind) and the eternity that death seems to promise us?
-
as said above 'i believe you have started to write again'
if it's been a while then it's like getting a haircut...gonna take a while to get use to it
it really is a good poem. the smoothness is what amazes me
-
Ms Ava, thank you for 'my' poem. I've missed reading you. You're still all quality.
-
Axelle's comments above is astute -- as this lovely composition proves, you haven't attempted to "start writing again," as much as resumed the marvelous craft you already owned. The images here are complex, and quite stirring. You use three excellent inter-twined images: light, wind (Boreas) and death. In the composite, we see why the poet feels caught -- for as she can surely see the light caught in the defractions of water, skidding as it does in its bent paths, so too can she see in the pre-dawn light all mortality, as wistful and as constant as the wind she describes. This is the world in which she is caught, and indeed in which she does breath.
It's a reward for all of us to see you back at the mastery of your wonderful craft Tina. -
Trying to start writing again? You are as far as I'm concerned. Hmmm, I really love this. And so does this guy student thingy beside me. See you're known worldwide now. Anyway, I adore adore adore the absolute first stanza and the ending. They're really poignant as well as full of vivid imagery. Anywho, rambling pointlessly here, I need to do my homework. This is excellent as always. I'm sure you'll be able to get back into the rhythm again.
-
An excellent mix of poetic flow and brilliant images.
A bright moment in my morning
John -
Beautiful poem, Tina! I like the flow of this.........and the imagery is fantastic! This was like watching a photograph turn into a poem right before my eyes
All the best in the contest,
Charishma
-
Tina
Very beautiful, I love this
Hugs and Love
Karen
Adding your comment:
1 - 43 of 43
29 old applause
