and tell me what you see...
A stab in the heart of innocence;
fraud, cover-ups, tyranny.
Falling onward forever,
each day we push ourselves
over the edge and wonder why
this world has gone to hell.
Listen to the way you say
each sugar-coated lie;
each word, the sweetest death
you just cannot deny.
Traces of souls extinguished,
engulfed in bitter flame;
salty tears of anguish fall,
but there's still someone else to blame.
Feel the heartbeats fade away
as another lost soul dies
from fatal wounds of twisted mouths,
and their disastrous lies.
Watch as it all falls down
around you as you commit
unwillingly known suicide,
and NOW you give a shit?!
Taste the blandness of this life
with each breath that you take;
blow out every candle
with each heart that you break.
Drown yourself in your lies-
look how you're so 'in control',
and all that it cost you was
the life of every pure soul.
Smell the corruption you've caused
because you had to be on top;
wasting away with each word,
and now it'll never stop.
Each soul you take is
a part of your very own-
the fuse is almost at the end,
now you'll be blown
apart as the stars collide.
You can't escape from this infection.
Everyone falls to their own demise
our lies, weapons of mass deception.
Author notes
The title is not by me, I got it from a song title from a band called The Unseen, but the entire poem is completely 100% me! It's kind of self-explanatory. Thank you, come again!
This poem won fourth place in the 3,000 point TOURNAMENT [Contest] by Namgod, and third place in the My first contest. I've got options! [Contest] by nikkoal.
Written February 21st, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Punk Poetry- Anti-Establishment by Tivoli.
438 points, ended February 15, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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So very true to the heart, and the flow is beautiful, and the rhythm was fantastic, love the depth and strength in this write, bravo


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Awesome, exactly what i was looking for.
SHortlisted !
Rob. -
Wonderful poem. Such interesting views on society, all which I agree with. Good write on society, keep it up, it's such a release for anger. Good choice on the title, even if it wasnt yours, you put it into the right content. well done.
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Thank you very much.
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A bronze trophy for this poem. Congratulations. Sentiments well expressed in these lines - like the title and the last line - great opening and closing.
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Very Good!
Congrats on the bronze rose blood 87. It's a very good write and deserved of a place in nikkoal's contest.
Keep up the excellent penning!
Sincerely -Emmjay
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Thanks a lot! And you're welcome.
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Greatness
This is one of the best that I've read so far. The lines seemed to be a bit choppy, but I think it fits with this piece. I can't find anything to critique on this piece, lol. You did a wonderful portrayal of society - its negative side, at least. I liked it a lot, and thought your rhyming emphasized the right parts, instead of making it kind of sing-song. You did a great job, and thank you so much for entering my contest!
~Nikki -
wow this was really well written, I like it a lot. The flow was excellent and your ryhming was perfect. Good luck in the contest!
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When I read the title my first thought was:
"Oh great, another clichéd piece" but then when I read it, I thought: this is actually well done, in a manner of speaking.
I liked the usage of rhyming, the storyline, the societal impact of the piece and how it seems vague in a way that you could be speaking of one thing when you're actually speaking of something entirely different.
I think this is a good piece.
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Very Good!
I liked these lines the best:
Listen to the way you say
each sugar-coated lie;
each word, the sweetest death
you just cannot deny.
Traces of souls extinguished,
engulfed in bitter flame;
salty tears of anguish fall,
but there's still someone else to blame.
They seemed to say so many things at once!The unusual rhyme scheme made the poem even better to read and the flow was very good.In some places there was I noticed the use of slanted rhymes.Thanks for your entry and best of luck
Score:8.3 -
Funny the title came from a band- it reminds me of 80's metal lyrics. A'la Suicidal Tendencies, not the butt-rock variety. I'm glad I got a chance to read this, thanks for entering it in to the contest.
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Thanks a lot. I'm glad ya like it.
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I liked weapons of mass deception. So you get shortlisted and my final applause du jour.
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You told it like it is but really shouldn't b
Written with heart and soul and a scary truth.The head that gets uneasy sits easy and grows bigger and more self righteous each day.the warmonger gets fat and lives are blown away.Great imagery and awesome content.Best of luck in the Contest.Elizabeth. -
I loved your examination of society's ills ...ya hit the nail on the head!
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Wickedly Awsome
Holy Shit that was probably the best poem ive read on here for awhile and i think that we would get along pretty good since your into goth stuff an pericings... well if u check out my page lol my poems are gay but if u want to get to know me just im me and we can talk for a while and shit or whatever well i guess i might *Hopefully* talk to you later.... oh P.S. you sound like your really Fuckin hott by the way.... -
really awesome. ~whitney!
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This is excellent. I really enjoyed reading it. I couldn't agree more with the message. Keep up the good work.
~Anaiya Illyria -
i have heard of this song, that you are talking about, i think this is a great poem and the message it golden, keep it flowing














