Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Babe In A Can (Ad)


Are you in a dating slump?
Can't seem to find the right woman or any woman at all?
Tired of one hurtful relationship after the other?
Fed-up with being laughed at when you finally do work up the nerve to approach a hot babe?


If you answered Yes to any one of these questions and a pulse reading on your partner is not a necessity - then cheer up my lonesome friend...we've got a deal for you!

Introducing the one and only...

Babe In A Can



That's right fellas - your very own hot babe!

The only thing standing between you and pleasuring yourself is a mere $29.99 and



a can opener, which we'll include at no extra charge!

I bet you're thinking...awww it's going to be a hassle inflating her - well think again! 
For those times you're just too dang lazy, use our handy dandy air pump...
This blonde bombshell can be enjoyed uninflated!
That's right, for quickies...

When you feel like humping instead of pumping



I ask you, when are ever going to get a real woman in a position like this..uh? NEVER that's when...only in your dreams!

She makes an ideal companion too!

For those long road trips


You'll never hear..."Are we there yet...pull over, 
I need a rest stop..You're driving too fast - Slow down!"

She'll even take an active interest in your hobbies...no complaints - not a one!




But wait, there's more...

Babe In A Can also comes in different themes to accommodate you're ever changing sexual moods
The ,"I wanna feel like God" model ...

 


or the, "I can't make up my mind...woman or man" mood



and lastly our "I feel like screwing ewe" design



Call within the next 5 minutes and get our free  "same day, some day" rush delivery!
That's 1 800 555 - Babe 

Author notes


Written February 21st, 2006

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 77 of 77

  • Robberty Bob
    July 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    HEH! Thats hysterical :-D


  • Quiet places
    March 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Very comical Ad material! Wonderfully funny and great imagery. I'll bet it has touched the funny bone of many. Excellent Ad, Don


    • galfalfa gold member
      March 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for taking the time to check some of my older pieces out, really appreciate it Don, and so glad you enjoyed this bit of silliness,

      galfalfa


  • Magic Bullet
    August 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I have a feeling I would be able to disapoint the doll. It deserves better than me, someone who would take it out for romantic walks and picnics and be able to provide for it.


  • Endeavor gold member
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Like, no, Love your humor. I may need this soon..lol

    Rick


  • galfalfa gold member
    June 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for checking this out - glad you enjoyed my silliness Most appreciated

  • galfalfa gold member
    June 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL..my goodness for a minute i thought that annie had paid me a visit Loved your comment PJ's - thanks for checking this out


  • mzblondemoments
    June 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is so hillairous, I thought I was the only one with a weird sense of humor. I love it! I have to wonder how many people ordered the inflatable bonking sheep.
    Thanks for the laugh


  • Silky Origami
    June 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    welll, welll, well, all this humping slumping done got me so tired I am ready to hit the sack any day now lol I had to add a comment sorry hey you aren;t in a funny mood today was giving ! huh?? well, ok. The sun will come out tommorrow bet ur bottom umm. well hey dont bet your arse, but you know last dollar , that man will fade away tommorrow "hits the high note" tommorrow I love ya tommorrow your only a laid guy away !!!!! guy!!! HIgher!!note"""" away!!!!!!! duh duh duh whew!! damn girl I got some lungs!! lol tty tommorrow PJ's

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL - well seeing as you already have her stuck to you - have your way with her first - then find her nozzle which is located ..er um, you'll find that i'm sure - uninflate her - stick your hand down your pants - the heat from your um, your um...body will melt the glue and the friction will release her... ok? We also include a patch repair kit
    thanks for you comment - you've me giggling here loved it!


  • captain splat
    May 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    typed with nose

    I have to report that after opening my order I was so excited that left what I was doing (fixing old cups and saucers) and ran to get the vasaline (as recommended). In my haste I squeezed the wrong tube and now I have stuck my new girlfriend to my hand with the super glue. any suggestions?


  • d a f f o d i l
    May 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I'll take 2 sheep, and 1 babe in a can please...you have a brunette...i prefer them I might some velcro gloves for the sheep you know where i could get some? This was fab!

    Fern


  • galfalfa gold member
    May 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for checking this out - glad you liked it


  • Saiikouri
    May 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LMFAO xD you just made my day


  • galfalfa gold member
    April 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hiya Thanks for checking this out - glad it gave you a laugh - loved your comment!


  • Primitive Poet
    April 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Haha that was dope, the sheep at the end had me lauging my ass off.


  • DarkChildsKiss silver member
    April 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! OMGGGG! This was too funny! I truly enjoyed reading this! It has to be one of the funniest things I've read the entire time I've been on AP. Great Job! Keep it up and continue writing!


  • Robbwindow
    April 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    Hmm.


  • leo2
    April 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    After thirty minutes of trying to figure out how to use the can opener I gave up and popped the can in the microwave..lol. Perhaps you should put a warning label on this product because the injuries I received have left me permanently demented and morally backrupt..lol. Just kidding. I enjoyed the light hearted laughs from this piece.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • galfalfa gold member
    March 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you zt - glad you enjoyed this I sent your ewe out last week so it should be there any day now..ok?


  • zt
    March 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    The sad part about this is that I bet the orders are just pouring in. I see now how you got an eBay rating of 9432! Too funny...

  • galfalfa gold member
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL, thanks Sherry I do have one written about Freddy the blow up man doll...i just dont know if i still have it posted on the site Loved your comment


  • Sherry gold member
    March 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Sis you have one sense of humor lol
    this was funny. So I guess the men
    have it made I guess what about us old
    single ladies hunk in a can? Do we get
    a man in a can? I like to see you do a
    second one of these in a add. See what you
    come up with lol...Course our men wont be
    in no can but on stange chip in dales.
    Ok I'm carried away here TTLY Me


  • galfalfa gold member
    March 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL...will you visit me and bring me a cake with a file hidden inside? Thanks for checking this out


  • Sensual Sapphire
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love your work, simple brilliance. My boyfriend saw this and said a polite WTF? and he's seen them all. Adds like these I mean. I'm thinking of dialing the number. Well you know just to see who answers. I love your audio work with Cyberartist as well. That much intelligent humor should be outlawed! I see jail time in your future! lol

    April


  • Ellis gold member
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Rather Remarkable

    golfalley, golfalley, you're the greatest
    The ads on this site are the craziest
    I know now where to find the latest
    golfclub, bowlingalley, you're the greatest

    Fat Cat (for Ellis)
    Buy TIKI'S GOURMET CAT FOOD
    "Too Good For Humans"


  • greyhaime silver member
    March 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LMFAO this was just tooooooo much thanks I ned a good one today! blessings-
    Krystal


  • March 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    I love this one, lmao.. woke up on the wrong side of the bed and after reading this poem, it brightened my day up :-). Well done

    Cheers
    Terry


  • J Rhys Davies
    February 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is wrong on so many different levels! I knew when I started reading that I would be laughing, but I have to admit I was laughing harder and harder as I kept reading. You are such a nut!

    ~ John


  • Gwenevere
    February 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You have a wicked sense og humour, thankyou for putting a smile my way today, Ros

  • Magic Bullet
    February 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    These have became a strange sight at soccer matches in Britain. Next time I'm at a game I'm going to get me one. Well, I wouldn't pay for one!

    What noise did the drunk sex doll make when she sat on a pin? Psssssssssssssst.

    ;-)


  • kryspin
    February 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    *rofl, this is hilarious. a good parody of the marketing channel i say! kind of reminds me of one of my own sarcastic satires... rent-a-friend-corps LOL. good stuff


  • pixilatedprincess
    February 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Loved it! Absolutely loved it.

  • J Rhys Davies
    February 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Your ads are by far the funniest things I have ever come across on this site. Your mind is warped, twisted and completely and utterly out of this world. Marry me! ………….Or at least just keep posting things like this. I’ll take either.

    ~ John

  • galfalfa gold member
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Michelle - i'm glad it gave you a laugh
    Oh the guy doll, his penis is detachable ...that's packed in a can all of it's own - yep, penis in a can
    For those times when you feel like a penis but men make you sick
    Thanks again..loved your comment

    Edited on Feb 22, 6:58 p.m. because 'when instead of that'.


  • heartnsoul
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dumb ass come back, come back dumb ass. yer has to tell me whot color har yer lyke on yer doll!
    yer gyrlfrend Betti

  • heartnsoul
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    hilarious...

    Oh my lord, just wait till dumb ass get's a gander. Oh wait! I know! I'll git him 2 four hys birthday. With a card that wil saye " Happi Byrthday 2 ewe u" won fer a pilowe wen yer dryvin in the truk. The ather won's ensted of me whin yer want to F**! An yer wern't miss me so much wen yer in yer truk, that gyrl looks jist lyke me. NO teeth! So iffen yer git that feelin wen yer down in the holler...take that little miss, i'm shure that she cin swaller!" Luv, Betti.
    Do yer think he wil lyke it? Be sydes, I git that thar purrty can ohpiner!
    OMG! This one had me on the floor!! Where did you get this one from? Gal, I love it!! I bow, i jump and cheer!!
    Uhm... don't be upset, but I'm gonna pass on the guy doll. They look like Barbie and Ken, no genitals. I like my toys to have some power! vroom,vroom vroom!
    ~Michelle~

  • heartnsoul
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Vonnie!!! Get your magnifying glass, does that say New York State under those license plates? Is it? Could it be? Fae Rae..King Kong's babe. No wonder he lost it? I thought I was the only one to notice! I'm reading and thinking, I can't believe not one person has said anything about that car!
    Michelle


  • rainyday woman silver member
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    Ok windssong said I needed to check you out and she was right in doing so This is great, and I'm going to have to read more cause if there is one thing I need right now it is a really good laugh.

  • Silky Origami
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    10-10-10

    Oh Damn I saw The Virgin Mary and remebered a joke another put in here It was AnnD=Virgin Mary lol this was awesome..although the can opener mighthurt a little hahaha. squeeze and release Great writeGalPj's


  • galfalfa gold member
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL..yes i noticed - good of him to test and bless it
    thanks polgara for your comment and applause

  • polgara
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LMAO Gal... what an imagination and those pics too...did you notice the "fine print" on the Virgin Mary?

  • galfalfa gold member
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A perv...why how daaarrrrrreeee you Put'em up...Put'em up
    Thanks for your comment and applause Sarah - most appreciated

  • galfalfa gold member
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks vonnie - so glad it gave you a laugh - laughter is what keeps us young and sane in this crazy world we live in
    Hey...imagine for one minute - prepare yourself for this mental image - a screw off lid instead of a can opener


    Edited on Feb 22, 7:00 because 'sssssss'.

  • Seaquince
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    enjoyed reading it

    i suppose that is one way of having protective sex without a condom

    myself personally i hate blow jobs... that is why i never have balloons at my parties


  • hugh wyles silver member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Gal,
    ~~~
    Now this looks like my answer to prayer
    a girl who I can take anywhere
    introduce to my folks,
    not upset by my jokes
    and, inflated, oh boy! What a pair!

    She won't tell me my mind's like a sewer
    because of the ways that I do 'er
    and she won't frustrate me
    by wanting to pee
    just as I'm getting ready to screw 'er.

    I can introduce her as my cousin
    to stop all the gossip from buzzin'.
    Would you think I am rude
    when I ask for one, nude,
    is it cheaper if I buy a dozen?

    I could start up a hire-out-a-harem
    for guys who find real hookers scare 'em.
    "Every babe sure to please
    with no fear of disease.
    Prophylactics? There's no need to wear 'em."

    If you help clean them up when they're dirty,
    I'll cut you in 70/30.
    I think that would be fair
    for a partnership share.
    I just hope that my wife won't get shirty!!
    ~~~
    TREMENDOUS APPLAUSE FOR YOUR INNOVATIVE ADVERTISING!
    Love and rubber hugz, XXX Hugh.






  • Dragon Tamer
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    totally hysterical

    Way too funny gal I really enjoyed this one a whole bunch.Where were these things when I was growing up? lol
    Take care and keep up the great work
    DT


  • Sarah957
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You are such a perv! But you ARE a funny perv, so I guess its ok lol
    Sarah

  • FrenchKiss
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is hilarious. LoL. This is amazing.
    Great write.
    Ray

    By the way, nice graphics. Love the pictures.
    Edited on Feb 21, 8:30 p.m. because ''.


  • rufina caraid gold member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I never thought this day would come when I would have to admit I'M BLOODY SPEECHLESS!
    You have excelled yourself this time Galf but I did notice one thing, in the back of the car. Trotters Independant Traders - what do those first letters spell and there are 2 of them hanging out the back window. Ooh! look at that I seem to have regained my voice. lol
    This is the second time today so far I've burst out laughing - I feel great now.
    You never disappoint!
    Von


  • galfalfa gold member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you I loved your comment and that fact that you enjoy my silliness - it means a great deal

    gal


  • faderman1959
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Gal this was a riot! I love your sense of humor its fantastic! I just can't wait to see what you come up with next!

  • galfalfa gold member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks Terry ...my alone time is valued and spent creatively - there are very few i'd rather spend time with ..i love my own company You should see me play with myself
    Thanks for stopping by and checking this out


  • galfalfa gold member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL..raised just a smile eh That's good enough for me Thanks for checking this out, most appreciated!


  • Legend silver member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Gal could you please check that your phone bill has been paid. I tried ringing the number and all i got was unavailable.Could you please send one of each type as i am someone who finds it hard to make up their mind.
    After all that a most amusing write and a great read Raise a smile( yes just a smile) well done


  • Ogreatbaldone gold member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Gal, the mind reels at this one...where do I order? . I think you are spending far too much time alone , this was hilarious, can you get a double can with twins? ...peace Terry


  • sarajaneUK
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    fab and funny

    LMAO, i read it though, as....are you dating a stump....must be cos im a wishful female! hehehehe.


  • Eyes Of Rain
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    I WANT ONE..I WANT ONE!!!

    This is hysterical!!
    I'll take two of the "I can't make up my mind...woman or man" mood Babe's in a can.
    Sheesh I hope it gets here same day like your ad said, or I'm gonna feel a bit deflated.
    Great write, very imaginative and sharp-witted.
    I'll be reading more from you for sure.
    Blessed Be,
    ~Sherry~


  • poeticweaver gold member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LMBO!!! Now this is too much,
    Needless to say, I thought this to make my day, I needed this, you're a trip, LOL! Thanks for sharing, and making me smile!

    Pen on!

    -Timothy

  • PrettyFace
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    ha ha ha this is the shits and giggles i love this it is so funny. i know that this wou.d be a great commertial in my point of veiw ha ha

  • galfalfa gold member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Edna Edna Edna..my funny, sweet, adorable Edna There is a man in the "I can't make up my mind" design. Thanks for checking this out..most appreciated

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thankyou for the smile you sent my way upon reading this humouros write.The pictures with it,down to the tin opener ,were brilliant.I saw the episode od "Only fools and horses" that had the blow up dolls(yellow reliant robin /blow up doll in car) featured as a storyline,absolutely hilariuos!I applaud your sense of humour and it ws indeed a surprize to read this "ad"


  • galfalfa gold member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL..i can respect that doughjoe - my sickness is not to everyone's liking But thanks for giving it a try


  • Edna Sweetlove
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    There is a very funny book featuring a blow up doll by Tom Sharpe: "Wilt on High" (I think, anyway it's in the Wilt series).

    Why is it that only female dolls are available?


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    lol I keep calling and some guy in wogga wogga answers and gets upset. your a nuttttter the best kind thanks for the laughs
    Paul


  • Bride Of Hate
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hysterical!! Great fun to read!!!
    Kitty x


  • doughjoe silver member
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i click here today cause i love to read your work, but this one dear is not for me sorry...

  • kat14903
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    hysterically funny

    very interesting infomercial lol! leaves me laughing. i like this style you used! great humor and keeps your attention. thank you i really needed a laugh today!


  • heygoo
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    So so funny. Your humor is delightful within this sea of sadness. What I want to know, though, is where did you get all of the pictures?? Do you maybe have a doll like this?? lol... Delightful read.


  • DreameeDarlin2U
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    heeheehee....Bravo to you! I needed a laugh! This should be a commercial on late night tv. (Wonder how many are actually trying to call the babe line?)LOL. Really great job on this, I applaud you!

  • bebacksoon
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    fantastic this has given me the laugh I needed


  • February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    very something!?

    If this is all you want, it is all you'll get she will love you until you bit a tit!


  • Analai
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    ROFLMAO,,,,,,,Great, just do darn funny and clever. Good job!

  • Brokeniseasilyfixed
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    WTF!?!? LOL! this was pretty funny, kinda random, but really funnY! I bought my friend an inflatable husband for her birthday once, I think it confused her, He was only like 4 feel tall lol. oh well, she didn't even give him a name!!! oh well. it is true though, you don't have to deal with complaints from something that can't talk! You make me giggle for the day! Keep it up!
    <3 Jaden


  • February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    he he he I want one! this was fabulous. I was just thinking that some of the poets on AP take their selves far too seriously and then I click on this what a hoot. thanks for this little gem

  • driveby-romance
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my God. Brillant.


  • Kikidee6971
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is so damn funny I almost pee'd my pants. where did you come up with this concept LOL! You really should be in the arketing buisness. Great job!!!!!

1 - 77 of 77