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Inner Light

Click this link for the MP3 - homepage.ntlworld.com/danabouk/Inner%20Light%20-%20Dan%20Abo.mp3

Click this link for the MUSIC VIDEO -  Inner Light.swf

NSPCC Advert - anon.groovy.speedera.net/anon.groovy/clients/nspcc/openyoureyes_hb.asx


Come with me unto darkness and I will show you light
A place where the sun shines even though it's night
I'll help you find an Inner Light that's far more bright
A hidden depth inside that's out of sight
Come with me? Yeah, I thought you might...


I've been watching adverts on the TV
The ones with abused kids for the NSPCC
There's this one boy I see may as well be me
He reflects intellect in his eyes
Through neglect I share his guise
He knows no matter how much he cries
They won't answer until he dies
And when he's gone he'll still belong
And long for the people who did him wrong
Maybe one day they'll hear this song
And know that the neglect kept him strong
For so long, he's felt a guilt
He hides himself inside his quilt
And it's not until you tilt the wilt
You learn his growth
Came from those you love to loath
Hate to love, love to hate, both
And when you pledge that oath
Of £2 a week
I know you seek to help the meek
Realise, the child holds an inner light that's far from weak
The child is me you and him and it's for us I speak


Come with me unto darkness and I will show you light
A place where the sun shines even though it's night
I'll help you find an Inner Light that's far more bright
A hidden depth inside that's out of sight
Come with me? Yeah, I thought you might...


I hope to bring you clarity
Help you understand the case of charity
Verity rises with insularity
As human beings we feel isolated
That's a fact it doesn't need to be debated
From the day we're born we're loved and hated
Related to people we feel unrelated
Interrelated by the fact our parents dated
A life negated by the fact we're fated to
Step out in life wearing the mated shoe
This connection we have is between all of humanity
From Islam to Hindu through to Christianity
And it's only our own vanity
That causes the insanity
Insane wars are fought without cause
Inside wars battle with our own flaws
Find your Inner Light and pause
I know I'm not perfect
Like the child in the Ad, I'm a reject
But the shine inside helps protect
Without self-respect
I'm a neglect-suspect
I suspect we all neglect those we want to protect
I suggest we stop being obsessed about being depressed
And press ourselves to help and bless
The less well off, yeah you've guessed
That Inner Light is in our chest
It's the beating heart we all share
And just by listening
I know you care


Come with me unto darkness and I will show you light
A place where the sun shines even though it's night
I'll help you find an Inner Light that's far more bright
A hidden depth inside that's out of sight
Come with me? Yeah, I thought you might...

Author notes

The NSPCC, correctly known as the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children is the UK's leading charity specialising in child protection and the prevention of cruelty to children.

Please visit www.NSPCC.org.uk for more information
Written February 21st, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 49 of 49
  • piccola silver member
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    Come with me unto darkness and I will show you light
    A place where the sun shines even though it's night
    I'll help you find an Inner Light that's far more bright
    A hidden depth inside that's out of sight
    Come with me? Yeah, I thought you might...

    Wonderful use of repetition. Good rhyme and flow although it is a bit long to really hold my attention span. I found that I had to force myself to keep reading ... just me and old age I guess.


  • Am8ur
    February 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i agree totally with midnight blossom. the repeated stanza was marvelous. i have noticed when reading the comments below that alot of people are commenting on how LONG this piece is. i think it is a good length. i have read longer lol
    i think it shows the talent of the writer when they can write more than 15 lines and manage to maintain consistency and also keep the reader interested lol
    keep up the great work.
    Til


  • danceswithdaisys
    November 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    wow. this is really great! it is really long, but i looove the rhymes! i love rhyme! always!


  • Aerlynne
    November 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love the repeated stanza, it really makes your point that much stronger, without beating us over the head with it. I also like the idea of going to the darkness to see the light. You have to know darkness to fully appreiate the sun, and likewise the night. A truly thought-provoking and I love it.

    ~*~
    Midnight


  • Lyre-Bird-
    November 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I dont like a long read, but you captured me from start to finish on this true and emotional feeling piece.... The flow of words is great.... Your title captures your poem well
    Thank you for sharing this
    Tracey


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    October 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It is very touching subject to deal in poetic immageries and deal in literary arena as well..The structure made is truely vey impressive and showing the depth on the subject and pleading its relevance in almost every corner of the social framework..This is so beautiful work coming from the soul of the poet..I really appreciate this work ..


  • TripleR
    June 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    That's.. that's some good stuff


  • DanASBO
    June 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I'm glad you like this piece. Child abuse is a very personal and important subject for me. I hope your contest raises awareness as well inspiring some wonderful pieces of art. I read the rules and noticed the 8-20 line limit. If I think of something before the deadline I'll definitely enter.

    Dan.


  • nichtmich silver member
    June 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Exceptionally Well Done

    This is an extraordinary work of art. I have enjoyed the read very much. Unfortunately, even if I allowed it as a prewrite (and I may allow them later depending upon how many entries I get) it is out of the 8-20 line rule that I set Thank you so much for sharing and your interest in the contest. I hope your muse inspires you to write another poem for the comp. I feel it would be a serious contender. Love and light...Deb


  • Thoughtful Seeker
    June 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    great work!!

    I have heard this in song form. It is absolutely wonderful. You are so talented. Just remember old Janny when you are famous. I love music. I would love writing something with you, and hearing you sing it on your myspace music page. You think we might do that? Cause I think that would be fun. I never could tell if you liked me as much as I like you. I look up to you, and I can learn a lot from such a brave creative person as yourself. I'm glad we are friends. I know I can be a bother sometimes, but it's just cause I enjoy your company. jani

  • Pixie Wings 36
    March 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written and beautiful poem... I think thats about all I can say, it was beautiful. Thank you for the pleasant read. ^_^


  • Melodies
    March 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    A message true and good

    I like the way your topic flows with repeating lines, which makes it sound rather like a song. You did a remarkable job of rhyming, which caught my attention. Your message is certainly compelling, and I like poems that have a higher purpose, which this one certainly does. Poetry that inspires and teaches a moral lesson is to be held high as a reason to write. I must get to know you!


  • mzladyt
    March 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Great job. We all need to look for the inner light in everyone and not judge them by the way they appear on the outside.


  • DanASBO
    March 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    104 views and you're the first to notice

    Thanks for the comment

  • Amy-gail
    March 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    great poem i couldnt hear the mp3 though that made me sad
    one small thing i noticed

    "I suggest we stop being obsessed about being depressed
    And press ourselves to to help and bless "

    i think you need to get rid of the second 'to'

    oh well it was i tiny mistake
    once again great poem, you should be pleased

    Amy


  • BloodyxNightengale
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I lovee this poem..its so sweet..and I loved the bit about the child holding a light that's far from weak..that seemed to really bring a smile to my face-I love children!!
    ..And what's really sad to me is, in fact, so many people neglect them..

    Thanks for the read, it was beautiful.

    ~Lisi~
    Edited on Mar 07, 8:05 p.m. because ''.

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Anyone who abuses a Child is an animal in My eyes, there is no excuse in the world for it, I absolutely adore My Two Children and would die if anything would ever happen to either of Them... Josephine.


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hi, this is very well written and to highlight a very good cause. I wrote a poem too to highlight the NSPCC, "Abandoned", maybe you could drop by and read it. We live in the same city & I'd love to hear your songs, maybe we could collab in the future. Well done with this & thanks for sharing. Be well. La x

  • comet of 1989
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    :)

    a lot of insight! Well done, i'd love to hear the music!
    Very emo
    Is there a lot of reason behind the writing of this?
    Or is it just something that you happened to dream up?
    Edited on Mar 07, 12:22 because ''.


  • Debbysmiles gold member
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Concise, exact meter and ryhme. No breaks in flow. Very, very sad the way out world is .. I hope all find the light. You really did a great job with this. Debby


  • rockchik000
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A very interesting write indeed.
    My favorite two lines would have to be,
    He knows no matter how much he cries
    They won't answer until he dies
    They show true tragedy, but overall My favorite was the second stanza in itself.
    I never would have thought to associate myself with a child on tv, but your poem brought it to a whole new level.
    Overall, this poem could use a rewrite to touch things up.
    I also haven't read anything like this It's hard to find new original poems now-a-days.


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Through neglect I share his guise
    He knows no matter how much he cries
    They won't answer until he dies
    And when he's gone he'll still belong
    And long for the people who did him wrong
    Maybe one day they'll hear this song

    this is so very very sad. child abuse is an issue in every country that has to be stopped. turning a deaf ear or a blind eye will not help. i am so hoping that this song did not come about from personal experience. you did such an awesome job on this but i would rather have never seen it than to have another child fall prey to this type of pain. viyanna r langager


  • LadyUnique silver member
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    what an awesome job you've done with this
    you've shown the facts and repeated a few times on strength and hope.
    the chorus is excellent. very nicely done


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very good job you did on this poem. And it's such a true write. I really enjoyed reading it. A very good poet you are. Great job, keep writing.


  • grannyeri gold member
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Great lyrics you have written and woven into this great song - a difficult topic to write about, your sentiments are expressed well and this flows along nicely, easy to read and understand. BRAVO.


  • Dreamy Green Eyes
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Great job!

    An awesome write! Written with great emotion! A wonderful piece to raise the awareness of abuse! Great job! Debi


  • faderman1959
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You did an excellent job on a very tough subject! Kudos!

  • PhoenixSer
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I can't really add much that hasn't already been said. I'm very impressed with pretty much all of your writes, this in particular because it reaches more that just one person. I like the way you made it apply to you personally, but also to every kid who's ever been abused. You're an appropriate spokesman for something like this, and I know everyone is very touched by this and very proud of you for it. Keep on recording your stuff! I love to hear it sang, makes it that much more powerful.



    ~Sarah~

  • smallmonk
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hat's off to you, Dano...one for a thoughtful, insightful, contemplative song...and two for supporting hope and peace for children. It is something special to give a voice to those who can bearly whisper for themselves...and I applaude you.

    Hopefully, you (or someone reading) have contacted the NSPCC and sent them the link...I believe they would really appreciate your efforts...and perhaps even use the song or video to further their efforts.

    All the best to you, my friend.

    smallmonk


  • hoodoolover silver member
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Awesome piece, very good job!!


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    What can I say that hasn't already been said, Dan?


  • Starhiker
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I have to applaud you again for your music video for Inner Light. You should contact NSPCC, and hear what they think of it. You could even end up on MTV, you know that? You're good! Jim


  • NurseChilly gold member
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very clever Dan... very good..

    you are talented and shows you put alot of effort into this.. well done

    a touching piece and yes, those adverts are very moving


  • blueyez
    March 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I feel this song but could not access the music unfortunately here at work. Lovely and heartfelt write.


  • Hearta
    March 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i think this is my favorite...

    i love this one.. shall we???

    i'll grab your hand if you show me the promise land
    show me how to make a greater stand
    find that inner light tell me it's gon' be alright
    show me my strength so I can bring out the fight
    ........

    sweet...

  • SurrenderMyHeart
    March 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    very great


  • Ellis gold member
    February 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Great Writing

    This is damn good, Fawzi,
    but you know that.
    Since you write this snazzy
    you must be a cat.

    Tiki Cat
    Buy TIKI'S GOURMET CAT FOOD
    "Too Good For Humans"


  • tryst 1
    February 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    too many good lines to quote...i really liked this....and your "deep" voice is amazing...give it more free reign..it resonates. this is powerful. well done. ~tryst

  • Aetas
    February 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I agree with G.analogy, that was a great verse.


  • SpiritMother
    February 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Well Done!

    Wonderful lyrics and words.I really loved the music and there are no words that I can say that will give your poem justice.

  • grannyeri gold member
    February 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Great lyrics penned here - speaking on behalf of a group is important and can help attract more donors, sponsors to your cause. Well written.


  • Guineveres Analogy
    February 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    "I suspect we all neglect those we want to protect
    I suggest we stop being obsessed about being depressed
    And press ourselves to to help and bless
    The less well off, yeah you've guessed
    That Inner Light is in our chest" - Wow..I liked this verse. Very true. People certainly are infatuated with depression these days from kids to old people. Not that there is no reason to feel concern.It does seem rather dark sometimes in the world,but we can help eachother into the light.
    I really liked the song written and the MP3. Thank you for sharing it with us. Peace.
    Jennifer


  • eternalpoet
    February 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    5 Stars *****

    well... first of all the applaud for the song.... I like the lyrics.. well.. i didn tknow the first time i will hear you wud be in songs.. .. well. i like it.. lol.. great work man.. i like it

    take cares and have a nice time my dear friend... just keep it up... your humble little friend.... .... .... .... - vic ( who else? )


  • requiempoet gold member
    February 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Great job and your work is so in depth and has so much meaning to it! i could imagine myself rocking out hard to this!!! it's great I think!! well done and keep penning your wonderful and beautiful work!!
    Rosita


  • dr3a-martin3z
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    speechless...you truly are insightful beyond your years...i am astonished with everything you ever write...

  • blueyez
    February 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    Wow Daniel you surprise me each and every time I read one of your poems/songs. You are too awesome. This was very touching!


  • fuz Z navel
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    i love it purcle my love! i maybe as much as blinnk (maybe) the only problem is that it is hard to undertand it. but the words are beautiful and the music is awesome. do you create the music on your computer or do you have a band ready at command? anyways i love it. and just to let you know "i'd go any where with you, it can be light but i would prefer it to be dark "


  • army ajent
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You are avoice for all the abused children out there. this was so vivid and full of passion and imigary. I am in awe of you

  • paul england
    February 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    great

    another good song I read while I listen much more enjoyeble
    in the middle it goes a touch quiet I didn't hear you clear but apart from that spot on

1 - 49 of 49