When we were driving on the top
Then things were pretty flat.
The bus could hardly move at all
But downhill, now, the road steepens
Progressively
And stopping is the question.
The further we drive, the faster we go
The faster we go, the steeper it gets
The abyss is before us
The precipice beckons.
In the back they all shout
"Put your foot on the brake!"
But the driver just says
"Speed is the thing."
His friend is the seller of gas.
The happy clappies sing and shout
"The rest of you can burn.
For Jesus is our parachute
We're gonna see him soon."
With the bus filling up,
The brakes cannot hold
Even trying to steer is in doubt
So there isn't much hope
For this rickety world
But
For all of our sakes
Turn about!
Author notes
Macho stuff....
Written February 19th, 2006
In a list
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Comments
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these last couple poems have put a catch in my throat- i think we all go through feelings much like this at different stages in our life..
anyhow- a nice representation of the aging process and how it affects -
This is a good piece of writting, In fact it was almost like looking into a mirror .....
In the back they all shout
"Put your foot on the brake!"
But the driver just says
"Speed is the thing."
His friend is the seller of gas.....
SO true are these lines. Thank you for sharring, Good luck be with you. ~Bret~ -
great synecdoche....for life in general....for everything in the universe...for the way people think and feel.
i love the feeling one gets wen reading it...speeding up.
"For all of our sakes,"..oh boy...that applies to so many things (or at least in my way of thinking)
Great write, i love your method of sendingacross a bigger message.
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wow! This is wonderful - i was so hooked! I kept staring and things kept getting more and more exciting, i kept watching the screen (as if something were going to happen!?!) and i just kept waiting for something so horrific to happen...but ya know. I love it very much ... I love your line
For Jesus is our parachute
So true, so true! But anyways, you've really done a wonderful job with this! I encourage you to keep writing, you've got some real talent here!! Keep it up ok!
I will hopefully be back to read more - and if i dont, send me a message and tell me to read some of your stuff, i will definately come back to read more!
This is definately some "Macho stuff"
Hope to talk to you soon, Much love
Stephani ♥ -
Very weird... i like how it starts off slow then slowly.. just like going down a hill.. it progressivly speeds up in pace. i like it!!
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enjoyable
this is very different, but interent and good. I like it -
This is great -- I think it has a lot of alternate meaning that many don't catch. I love the Jesus-parachute line. Very well done -- nice drawing too! Excellent write, keep it up.
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This poem give new meaning to the psychological term "Who is really driving YOUR bus?"LOL Great job.
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very interesting. different. about all that comes to mind...just really different. good job with writing it. enjoyed the read.
blu -
WOW! Every interesting. I like it though.
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Oh my goodness! I think I just laughed myself silly on this one!
Thanks for being the funniest poem I've read all day! There aren't enough humor ones as it is. When I first came here, I would write lots of humorous poems and I really liked them. But everyone is so serious here, I think it rubbed off and it's hard for me to write them anymore. So I guess I'm saying thanks for writing one! Your picture was so funny I was already grinning like crazy before I read your first line, and the words were even better! Even your author note was just too funny! I think I'll have to check out your page. Do you write funny poems often? If so, I'm goning to have to HAVE to put you on my favorites, no questions asked! You're great! Thanks for sharing your words today. I would have been sorry to miss them!
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The ride on the bus reminds me of the ride drug users encounter. His friend who sells the gas is the dealer. It started out fun, but is now out of control. If the bus crashes, they will indeed see Jesus. Please read my poem "Only One Heard Me." Thanks for a great write. Cleaver and original!
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this was very cleverly done...started out by making me smile, and by the end i felt damned depressed...an excellent social commentary...thanks for sharing ~tryst
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This is very good (seriouly)
Very deep and complex,
had alot depth
and meaninf and really reached and grabbed the reader.
I love the rhythm and the over all flow of this poem as well. you conveyed those emotions very well with the flow and vocabulary you chosen.
Some might feel this poem is too long but for the subject matter and feeling of. -
Hm... do I smell a deeper meaning to this, such as what society is often like when things are moving fast? Well, at any rate, I love the illustration! Great write.
Kate
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kinda interesting... i like that it gets a little darker in the end, talking about it doesn't matter cuz Jesus is their parachute... it's cool... a lot different than other poems i've read lately! this one is gonna stick out to me for a while... i dunno if you meant to, but the ride of the bus is kinda like life, with it's up's and downs, and you just aren't in control sometimes... so great write!!!
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Hard to stop,back up or turn around when you're heading downhill fast, but if there's a will there's a way, so maybe...
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Very clever social commentary....Loved it!
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Dig it
Dig the choice of words. -
Not as deep as the doo-doo we're heading for, I fear. vic
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yeah good message in here my caddy friend and very deep. keep it going..
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Excellently written, good flow to your words and the message!! makes one think. Well done...Jeff
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What can we do though? Looks nasty for the kids I must say. I'll slap on a smile and jump in the car, maybe go for a little ride..... xx debs
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