a veil of clouds shattered but the winds reveal the vespers over the horizon
just before it was dusk and the sun burned the water while slowly drowning in the abyss
thousands of little aquatic animals swam gently in the lagoon,forever striving to escape the coral prison...
they couldn't survive the tides...
their freedom was lost...
yet in this cage remained their bliss...
that night the ocean's wrath was nowhere near
in the bay still-waters were crystal clear
reflecting from the heavens all the constellations i revere
i now gaze at herring gulls,proud masters of the calm waves
they suddenly nose dive towards the froth to pick up some unlucky shell fish
grace...white swans,silver lakes
i will soon sail on a ghost ship to leave no trace and go to a place that only thoughts could reach
maybe you'll meet me there someday
it's just that waking up isn't as easy as i figured it would be...
Author notes
to my painter...
Written February 17th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Unique and convincing pictures, leaving deep and somehow mysterious feelings. Well done!!
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someday u will meet in a place with no time and space
and wakin up would be as marvelous as her paintings
where shyness will unveil & timidity will hv no trace
and you will share the fantacy of ur hiden feelings ..
ur lil sis
xxx
Edited on Nov 06, 7:18 because ''. -
I like the vivid imagery, it is a powerful visualization..reminds me of pathetic fallacy, when the environment seem to represent your emotions. Thanks for commenting. I didn't know you know Nour as well, and coincidentally most of my AP friends come from Lebanon! (Alright..I live in Hong Kong which is in another corner). Anyways, wonderful write, keep it up!
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Your imagination keeps growing wilder and wilder.. And that, my friend, is what makes a good talented poet.. The images you've drawn up there are just.. magical.. I haven't read anything that has made my mind drift apart in such a calm way in a long time..
Well penned!
Nour* -
Deep conclusion
The only thing I'd change here is the font, I had to highlight. Good use of enjambment here Good imagery 
Keep writing I liked your use of narrative Good use of alliteration too
All the best
Thanks for your comment on my poems
Pozo
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