I was doing great for about a week.
Sure you were flirting,
but I though that I could deal.
Finally, though, I snapped, and crushed.
You were sweet, sensitive,
and not to mention absolutely gorgeous.
But I told myself to wait.
You already had a love interest.
I had time.
Then I heard that you two were done.
So I got my courage in place,
and dignity in check.
I couldn't wait, because I didn't want to be beaten to you.
So I asked.
Silly me.
Maybe there is a reason I can't have you.
Maybe you're not right for me.
Maybe I'm not right for you.
Could it be that you're one of those unanswered prayers?
I'll just keep thinking that anyway, until the pain subsides.
Author notes
Just a short little crap that kinda jumped into my head. Once again. Free Verse.
Written February 17th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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There's no need for self deprecation. This is a fine work.
Sometimes, what we think are the simplest expressions are the most honest, and therefore the most powerful. The freeverse here fits the topic very well. It is something we can identify with.
I liked the work. And I would also like to thank you for your service. Great work in both cases!
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Well I don't think that this poem is crap. It has emotion in it,and you put that emotion across really well to the readers so that they are able to feel it, identify with it. That's what makes a poem a great piece of work, an accomplishment. You were able to do that, I really relate to this piece and I love it.
I admit, though, that the quality of writing improved as the poem went along, so you could try leaving this alone for a while and then taking a fresh look at it and seeing how you could revise it.
The ending of this poem is what really made me feel and believe it.
Awesome write.
~noir
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"Maybe there is a reason I can't have you.
Maybe you're not right for me.
Maybe I'm not right for you.
Could it be that you're one of those unanswered prayers?
I'll just keep thinking that anyway, until the pain subsides." -
Haahahahahahahahahahahaha. you made me man-giggle. Yeah, it's personal, but it's nothing but a normal teenage heart-break. Just something stupid I got my hopes up over.
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This isn't trash! It's so pretty and sweet. I really like it. It's rather sad and I just want to hug the person.
Anyway, lovely poem. Wait...is this personal?
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I think I know what's going on here... want to talk about it? Call me.
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Free verse is so beautiful when it deals with our raw emotions, no? I do so adore this, Jeremy.. just because it is so raw, and relentless. You certainly know how to pull at my heart-strings, since I've felt this way plenty of times in the past.. which is why I gave up on relationships.
Anywhore.. I hope things progressively become better for you, love.
You're a wonderful person, who deserve only good things. 
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*huggles* Awww..... I like this. But you must tell me about what is going one my love. You must!
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