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My Fair Chance

I had my fair chance

I didnt want to dance

I started a thing.

That was  a bad scheme

Things didnt work out and im sorry

I hurt all over for it and now I know

I know what love is and it hurts .

I had my fair chance.

Author notes


Written February 17th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Anah
    February 28, 2006
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    AWESOME

    I love the short and simpleness it could use more detail tho....like gratifying words to lighten up the articulate features of the whole essence of the poem...make it more picturable...more understandable...was it u that lost the chance....or was it some one else....i mean if it was u that lost the chance then why does it sound like they lost it and not u....it needs more emotion....put tears and drama into it...shove it in there face , or in yours while still holding ur dignity....it's pretty graceful, but even whoopie goldberg is showing more grace(lol just kiddin) hahah .... it is a beautiful poem too...i love the point....but maybe retghink the rest that is leading up to the point...myabe change like a wor or to....put in some highlights...a few hooks to the stanzas....nice work LOVE YAZ!!! LATAZ!

    LOVE ALWAYS,
    ANAH


  • LadyUnique silver member
    February 21, 2006
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    i like this
    it's gritty, down-to-earth. simply stated and a perfect ending too. you've done a good job with this and should be proud


  • Bazza
    February 18, 2006
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    Good write, clever imagery.

    Straight to the point without added frills or surplus adjectives and nouns.


  • bludstaindsoliloquy
    February 17, 2006
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    I liked this . . . short . . . sweet . . . to the point . . . and wonderfully executed! Short pieces are veri hard to do. I liked that you spaced the lines out . . . it adds the over all effect of pausing to think about the consequences of your actions . . . and that is just an overall good way to present a short poem. Awesome . . .

    Thanks sooooo much for your comment on Seeing You Soon . . . it was veri hard for me to write about and I'm glad to know that I have someone there!

    Keep penning . . . and please . . . keep sharing!

    Maggie


  • MorningWinds
    February 17, 2006
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    Short, simple, meaningful and all the reader needs to completely understand the emotions that lays under these words. Well done.


  • Brooklyn 6 Project
    February 17, 2006
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    straight to the point melonie! Nice work! Keep writing!!


  • February 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    short sweet and a very good write well done lots of emotion and heart felt feeing

1 - 7 of 7