Cadmium red as rose
Pouring from open wounds
So beautiful
Zig zag, straight, and swirled cuts
Artistic carvings expressing abstract thoughts
Slices, dices, and piercings
Cutting through with skillful precision
Listening to deathly screams
As he detaches body parts
Bones cracking beneath hammer
Shattering
Chopping fingers one by one
To add to his collection
Death so gorgeous
Only in his eyes
Their eyes fogged by tears
Their hearts shreek terror
But he feels sheer delight
Smiling menacingly at their fright
Watch them struggle while tied to the chair
Strapped in place
No escape
He makes life disappear
Happiness disappear
Serenity and peace disappear
An albino rabbit, its blazing red eyes
And wearing top hat, black as night
He kills with a grin
Watches them suffer beneath his props of horror
And when all the beauty of flowing blood has ended
He makes the bodies vanish
Author notes
Written February 16th, 2006
A contest entry
- Dark Picture Contest by fairytalelovestory.
350 points, ended September 21, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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please what pic did you use?
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Oh my! This is absoultly chilling! I felt chills as I was reading. Profiling murders is an interest of mine. The whilte rabbit part made me see in my mind's eye It reminds me of the movie fear.com or saw.
Edited on Mar 02, 5:55 because 'mispelled word'. -
At the beginning of this I liked it a hell of a lot. It was really well written and everything. However, near the end I felt the meaning of the poem sort of disintegrate. It began to show less and less meaning because the words you were using and how you used them started feeling cliche or unnessisary.
Like, for instance, I thiink it would sound better if you didn't mention "the mad magician" at all in this piece and just left the title as it is, merely because I believe and feel that sometimes when you mention the title in the poem it begins to sound childish and inexperienced.
Like, if you've ever heard the song "the great dissapointment" by afi, you'll notice not once does he actually say the great dissapointment because he talking about it and describing it.
Also, since this is ffree-verse (I think that's what it's called) I think fo r the line "Watch them struggle while tied to chair" it would sound better if it said "the chair". I would understand if you were ttrying to fit this sentence into a meter to leave out a "the" or an "a", but for this poem, the way it is I just feel it would sound better.
However, after that particular line "Strapped in place, No escape" is an amazing follow-up. It gives a sence of passion towards the "mad magician"'s ways.
I also feel that for this line "With albino rabbit, its blazing red eyes" it should say "an albino rabbit" because, like I said before, you're not trying to fit this into meter.
That is just what i gathered from this piece, though.
I love the last two lines, very mysterious.
Awesome job and thank you for entering this pice. Muchly appreciated.
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