Rose petal fallen rich stolen minute sweet
As chocolate, melt it silk on ruby lips red
Misty eyed on Cupid's arrow perched heat
To smolder ashen blacken its petal bled
As chocolate, melt it silk on ruby lips red
Of virgin snow, hoard its passion of whores
To smolder ashen blacken its petal bled
Upon her burning innocence stench, abhor
Of virgin snow, hoard its passion of whores
Ripped veins sat opened to rich petals
Upon her burning innocence stench, abhor
Touched by prickled stair on flame nettle
Ripped veins sat opened to rich petals
Upon hearth soil nestled bled vivacious
Touch by prickled stair on flame nettle
Poisoned temptress ruby flair tenacious
Upon hearth soil nestled bled vivacious
Purged its whores diminished on vine
Poisoned temptress ruby flair tenacious
Weeping quaintly, their crushed petals refine
Author notes
Pantoum
The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines
of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a
new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing
quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.
The design is simple:
Line 1
Line 2
Line 3
Line 4
Line 5 (repeat of line 2)
Line 6
Line 7 (repeat of line 4)
Line 8
Continue with as many stanzas as you wish, but the ending stanzathen repeats the second and
fourth lines of the previous stanza (as its first and third lines), and also repeats the third line of
the first stanza, as its second line, and the first line of the first stanza as its fourth. So the first
line of the poem is also the last.
Last stanza:
Line 2 of previous stanza
Line 3 of first stanza
Line 4 of previous stanza
Line 1 of first stanza
Written February 16th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Form Poetry by individuality.
300 points, ended February 20, 2006, 1 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Well written poem
-
Very beautiful written poem. I really love it.
-
Well written.
-
wonderful! Would you like to check out my newest revised poem "little flower", it is well written by me
-
-
Sure
I'll come have a look at ur poem. I'm glad u liked my poem. Thank you for the applauds and the great critique. Haley27
-
-
Thank you for the gracious comment. Haley27
-
Thanks I'll take your suggestions and I'll apply them to the form. Haley27
-
just a point you do not have to use iambic pentameter, you can use other ways, but it will work better i feel if the lines are uniform rather than 11 in one ten in another 8 again in another etc
-
it is a good piece, it just needs some work on the actual flowing from one line to another
the very first line
Rose petal fallen rich stolen minute sweet
it stops the reader in their tracks, i would suggest getting a count on syllables, use iambic pentameter 'de dum' think of a heartbeat, the easiest way is counting to ten i find - i find is two syllables for example, that way the poem will go a lot smoother.
-
Thank you, I'll try to work on it some more to get this form just right. If you have any ideas to help me I'm very much appreciated. This my second time doing this form. How did I do? Haley27
-
cupids arrow - cupid's arrow
a little hard to follow i thought, the flow wasn't too impressive, i was stumbling through the peom to gain a decent rhythm.
a good piece of poetry. thank you for entering and good luck.
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
