A sparkling hopeful romance
of rising unadulterated emotion
vibrating with the dreams of a peaceful tomorrow.
The blooming passions,
yes, just like the roses,
gradually forgetting the smarting remembrances
of the yesterdays soon removed from memory.
A twinkling symphony of unfeigned tear drops
from a poetic lane of sincere words,
and a vase of jeweled treasures...
Not simply material,
but additional burgeoning affectivity.
Standing beside me in spirit,
willing to fulfil all my hearts desires,
aware of you fueling the flower of our arduous fire.
Author notes
another poem that's similar to the ones i've previously written lately..i guess they all have the same theme, and the same kind of flowery language :-/ i suppose all these words that flow to my mind are just...too similar. the reason is of good quality, but...i don't know if i like the style.
Written February 14th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wow. i love it so much. words cannot describe. keep it up, love.
Much Love,
~~Nick~~ -
I really enjoyed reading this. It was beautifully written...Full of emotion and imagery. great job keep up the good work, and i will keep reading.
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Standing beside me in spirit,
willing to fulfil all my hearts desires,
aware of you fueling the flower of our arduous fire.
i like this line. it is somehow callming to me. thank you for sharing this with me. as i haven't seen a lot of your stuff, i can't say that it was too familiar with me. you can only judge that aspect. i go through phases where i will do the same thing and write several pieces along the same line. then-viola! no more, weird so i think i got what your author comment was saying. keep it up though as this is beautiful and it would be a shame for you to keep this from us. viyanna r langager -
Personally . . . I think that this line:
"yes, just like the roses,"
Is almost unnecessary because your previous line:
"The blooming passions,"
Insinuates as much in a more subtle way.
Otherwise . . . This was an endearing piece . . . well written . . . and well presented! Bravo on a well written work! Keep penning . . . keep sharing . . . and good luck in the contest! -
This is written beautifully,not so rapt in metaphor that the meaning is lost,rather that the meaning is enhanced and intensified.Your description of a love that is sincere and erases the past is one I enjoyed very much,I found it poignant and heartwarming,well done,love and light,Yvette
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Beautiful read
OMG, You have captured some very vivid and deep emotonal feelings in this composition you have produced for us to share on the site. Keep um coming, you have the knack, to go far! Loved it!........Ennovy -
an amazing and very touching write, Cassandra. The thoughts and phrases that come flowing out of that beautiful mind of yours never cease to amaze me. On a critiquing level, as I'm sure you're aware, roses are quite the cliche topic to write about, but with the time of year that it is (and your reason for using them specifically in the poem) offsets that cliche to a great extent. The wording in itself is magnificent, not to mention the rest. I just can't say anything bad about this write! I ache for you to write more so I can delve deeper into the endless sea that is your mind. c'ya around baby.
s and 
es
B
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WOW. that was so beautiful, and moving, you can tell that you really put yourself into this poem, great job, and keep up the amazing work
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