Everlasting is the sound
Voices sung on hallowed ground.
Empty promise rings of myth
Reaching past the noise of it.
Yearning hearts that light the way
Daring daily, work or play.
Ample time to breath anew
Yesterdays from whence it grew.
Magnitude of every day
You, My Love, still light the way.
Varied from the day supposed
Always sharing door unclosed
Leaving room for touch or smile
Ending never through the miles
Nuggets of eternity
Touched by daily ecstasy
Independent of the time
Never waning, ever mine
Everyday my Valentine.
Author notes
To my Sweet P
Suggestions on punctuation welcome.
Written February 13th, 2006
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Perhaps 'of' between 'sound' and 'Voices'.
Maybe a comma between 'sharing' and 'door'.
The near rhymes worked out ok.
The rythym was near perfect.
Overall an enjoyable read -
this is original, unique and eloquent, Thistle...truly. It's the very best Valentine's Day poetry I have read in a long, long time. You've accomplished the acrostic, the meter, the rhyme and the sentiment so very well...It's really beautiful.
I'm no punctuation-expert myself...I tend to over-comma so often. But in this case, being that it's an acrostic--(which I only realized in one of the after-reads of this poem), I think the capital letters of each line slow the flow and allow just the right breath that no additional punctuation other than that which you have there is really needed. Only my opinion though...but I think it reads perfectly!
Jo -
Congratulations on your Gold win.
Hugs Joan
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Oh my...this was wonderful. Smooth flow, easy read, great rhythm. Very nicely done. Thank you for entering the contest.
Sam
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thats what I want, I want one of them, save one for me, an eternal valentine, now I know they do exist I will settle for nothing less, well done
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Excellent acrostic with rhyme ... most difficult part.
Magnitude of every day
You, My Love, still light the way... too good.
Best wishes and good luck.
manoj
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