I'd rather be the star next to the moon up in the sky
or be the mountain ‘neath your limbs, steady as you rise
I'd rather be the polish that makes your diamonds shine
or the cloth that rubs them, your skin next to mine
I'd rather be the mirror reflecting back at you
or the steam upon the glass playing peek a boo
I’d rather be the canvas tickled when provoked
or the colors on the brush that inspires every stroke
I’d rather be the paper you speak to in the night
or the pen within your hand holding me just right
I’d rather be the vision inside the clay you see
or the work of art you mold when you’re needing me
I'd rather be the color in your eyes a passionate hue
or be the timbre of your voice that echoes I love you
I'd rather be the sensation of your enraptured sigh
or the silent tear of joy falling from your eye
I'd rather be the kiss placed gently on your lips
or be the tender sweet caress of your finger tips
I'd rather be the rhythm beating deep within your heart
or the melody that flows through it and all it's loving parts
I'd rather be the sheets disheveled on your bed
or be those daring, passionate dreams that live inside your head
I'd rather be love’s nectar drenched upon your tongue
or the perfumed scent of love whence the craving sprung
I'd rather be love’s ocean splashing in its cave
or be the grip of your embrace catching every wave
I'd rather be the wind blowing gently through your hair
or the sun that warms your face knowing I was there
I'd rather be the tree that shades you from the heat
or be the soft sweet green grass underneath your feet
I'd rather be a room and feel your presence there
or the comfort that you feel inside your favorite chair
I'd rather be the knowing, of you wanting me
or inside your loving gaze seeing what you see
I'd rather be the floor, under bended knee
or the whisper of your prayer that brings you close to me
I’d rather be the December of your memories
or the sparks of “ember” when you remember me
I'd rather be a part of your heart and soul
For ever joined together – is forever whole
~heartnsoul~
Author notes
Happy Valentine's Day! But then, when you're in love, everyday is Valentine's Day!
~ A special thanks to Jane "Oneluckygirl" for helping me find a perfect ending.
Written February 13th, 2006
In a list
- That's the glory of, that's the story of.....LOVE • next in list
- A Photographic Memory • next in list
A contest entry
- Illuisions of ones heart. by Entwining Beauty.
300 points, ended April 30, 2006, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Love Me Tender~ by -Ink Artist-.
525 points, ended February 16, 2007, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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Very Good
I wish I would have let prewrites now.You said it all.What more could one ask for. -
Beautiful form, beautiful words...
I can't even pick out a favorite part in this poem, it is all really breathtaking. The flow is near perfect and the imagery is wonderful. And that is to say nothing of the deep and personal thoughts contained within. Congrats on the HM!
Best wishes,
~J.
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Breathtaking work! This is an incredibly personal look inside your love. The personification used, the bold metaphor, the dripping rich imagery, all come together in a most beautiful way to form this write. Absolutely gorgeous! Thanks for your entry and good luck!
~Lori
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For ever joined together – is forever whole
That last line there is just so awesome. I am speechless good writing -
Can you imagine feeling this way about someone and having all this come back to you? Ripples that begin in the middle, making their way to the shores and come back to you. I think a love like this is definately worth waiting for. This is much like the love that is expressed in the book. At least for me.
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I'd rather be there....
Where to start, wonderful beginning, nice long lasting bit in the middle and wow, what an ending!
Love it, then why shouldn't I.. -
Thank you, your comment is deeply appreciated. I'm so thankful that you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing. LOL! I wish all my work could be like this!
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that is the most perfect thing I've ever read, I couldn't breathe after I started reading it, I don't think I'll be able to think of anything else for a while, do you wrote like this a lot, if so I'm reading every poem you have and applauding it!
Kechara -
Very well done.
This is indeed a very lovely piece of poetry and I commend you for writing this fine piece. Very well done. -
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is amazing!!!!!!! you have captured something very real and true, and yet so dear to my heart! I love how you did this.
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This is the most beautifaul and loving poem I have ever read.You are so very talented.No wonder you are heartnsoul.Because you have so much of it.Thank you for sharing this with us.You will be added to my favorites and I will bookmark this poem.I LOVED IT SOOOOOO MUCH.
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Excellent writing
The most beautiful and ELEGANT love poem I have read on this site. --Ellis -
Katie,
I am truly touched, I sit with tears streaming down my cheeks. speechless. That you think my work to be of this calibre, I am so genuinely honored. As it has been I that envies the abilities you posses to write with such grace on love and nature. Thank you Katie, thank you!
~Michelle~
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Exceptional Poem
There is so much action in these words Michelle, the action of giving a giving of every fibre of your heart and soul in each line you have penned here, it is truly Exquisite How I envy your ability to draw up from the deep well of the heart such inspiration for a masterpiece such as this is! This is a poem of love personified I have to say, this is The most Exceptional Poem I have ever read since I joined AP, you go girl
Bravo!
~Katie~
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Renee,
I almost blush at the thought of you reading to your husband.
At the same time I'm very flattered that you would. But then read away, for me when I read it aloud, it seems to breath life into the words. And I know you would breath into it your heart and soul. I wonder though if our psyche's aren't much the same.As those were the very next lines that came onto the paper after the first! Thank you Renee, comments such as yours makes me feel so encouraged. Big warm 's
~Michelle~
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HEY WOW THIS IS A REALLY GOOD WRITE AND I REALLY LOVE READING IT KEEP ON WRITTING I CANT WAIT TO READ MORE OF UR POEMS.
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Paula,
It's so good to see you grace my page!! I've surely missed you! The flaw is fixed, thank you for telling me. My brain just kept reading it the way it was supposed to be! Oh my Paula, you bring tears to my eyes and warm my heart with such beautiful and encouraging words. You have no idea how much it means to me,for your expression of how this poem made you feel, is with the same intensity with which it was written. When you share it with your man, for me, read it like they are yours. I am so honored that you want to share it with him. This is one poem that I've written that is meant to be spoken. The spoken word just gives it life. I hope to see you soon..
Luv ya bunches,
~Michelle~
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This line leaped off the page into my psyche:
"I'd rather be the sheets disheveled on your bed
or be those daring, passionate dreams that live inside your head"
Oh yes! "I'd rather be" all of these, and I am so sure that you missed nothing at all. I read this like a sensuous beat poem that has so much rhythm that it was effortlessly flowing from my tongue. Oh Yes! This is what Valentine's Day is all about. You have encased every nuance, every essence... Such full flavor exudes from you pen beautiful lady.
"I'd rather be..." (heavy sighs)
Simply wonderful! This is a bookmarked one for sure! I can hear me saying these things to hubby, and him blushing all over hmself. EXQUISITE! I am thoroughly impressed and enamoured!
Much Love,
Renee
Happy Valentine's Day all year with this one!
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Thank you for coming by and reading and leaving me such warm and encouraging comments. I truly appreciate the visit.
~Michelle~
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Girl....now this is truly beautiful! I saw this title in the featured box, very early in the wee hours of the morning, and I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer to read, so I vowed I'd come back today, and be sure and look this one back up, and comment. And I'm so glad I did! Michelle, you truly took my breath away with this. Not just once, but over, and over again! Girl, this had so many visually beautiful lines....and the emotions that one feels about that special someone in their lives....you captured that to pure perfection, here! With every line, I thought....."Oh my God! That's so beautiful!" I can't wait to share this with my man! Every word you wrote expresses so purely, the way I feel about him! But I'd never be able to write something so lovely! Beautiful, BEAUTIFUL, girl!
Paula
Edited on Feb 16, 8:01 p.m. because ''. -
Dear Michelle,
If this poem is indicative of your standard of writing I am profoundly grateful that you wrote to me and that we have "met" on this site as I am now thirsting to read more of your work.
Thankyou for writing to me, I am replying again.
I have bookmerked this poem and will reread it as there are some beautiful thoughts expressed in it and the overall message is thrilling.
Applause, love and hugs, XXX Hugh. -
SM,
Thank you so very much! I truly appeciate your comments and applause. It genuinely warms me.
I understand what you are saying, but you see, for me, to say that I'd rather be this "than" that is to give an ultimatum. In love true love there aren't any. Let me use your example which btw isn't really a bad one. In my poem I'm not saying I'd rather be the bananna than apple because, I want to be the bananna then the apple. I'm not choosing, I want to be both! I do hope this helps......
~Michelle~
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My Dear Sweet Sammy,
I sit here reading with tears in my eyes! Yet smile through them, as I fondly remember those days. And you Sammy, gently prodding me, pushing me to do more. I have to admit, no matter how I feel when I've finished a poem, no matter how good it feels inside. I still, cover my eyes when I press "submit"! LOL! It warms me that you do love those lines. They are special, the moment those lines fell from the sky is a moment I will treasure always.
Lot's of 's &
's
~Michelle~
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good
Wow, this is very well written! I love the form, and I didn't even notice the rhymes until I was halfway done! One thing that bothered me was you never finshed your rather than thing. I'd rather be a banana than an apple. Okay, bad example, but hopefully you understand. You just said, I'd rather be a banana, but didnt say rather than what. Anyways, aside from that, I hope this poem wins in the contest. I LOVED the imagery, and I love how you made your poem so concrete. Great job here, cheers!
Super Mo -
Wow! What rightful words of praise I do not know what to give. This poem is amazing, so beautiful, loving. Just...wow. Makes me want to sigh, and daydreamat to what would it be like to be all those things. This is for sure a keeper. Good luck in the contest, you deserve the best!!
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EXCELLENT
My Dear Lady Michelle ... A stunning picture to go with your poem sets the tone so beautifully.
I'd rather be the star next to the moon up in the sky
or be the mountain ‘neath your limbs, steady as you rise
Just love those lines.
I hark back to when you first joined AP and how hesitant you were with your poems ... You have come a very long way my dear ... I am very proud of you ... 's
I hope you are taking good care of yourself.
Be well.
Sammy -
A magnificent rendention of true love. I love the rhythm, the rhyme and the message. The photo hits the spot too. You do have one to be proud of M'Lady. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
Michelle you are a diamond sparkling in a sea of lesser stones
This is a classic, one to be proud of because and lets hope like diamonds its read and enjoyed forever.
Paul
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Exquisite
This is, indeed, a beautiful, loving and inspired work of art. I adore the rich imagery and the pictures you imprint upon my mind's eye. Thank you for a wonderful experience. -
Wow , that was really beautiful , you have much talent .
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Very well written, had alot depth and meaninf and really reached and grabbed the reader.
I love the rhythm and the over all flow of this poem as well. you conveyed those emotions very well with the flow and vocabulary you chosen. Everything this seemed to work well for this poem.
Excellent work!
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Yes, this is a very beautifully penned poem, and expresses true love. I guess it is what it is. True love is not all show and wealth/money although we need lots of it, but it's not all we need to love someone. Well expressed, beautiful read! Like the way it is phrased/the layout - 2 lines in a row.
Love and light,
Lencio
PS: A small typo I guess in L4 - the cloth the rubs, should be the cloth that rubs? -
Well being as it was Valentine's Day yesterday, we can all be forgiven for the odd bit of mush and softer sides of us all.. which unfortunately usually does come out all cliched and hallmarkish??? LOLOLOLOL
((( only a smile there ))))
So it's nice to be nice and wish your loved one a Happy Valentine's day...
sweet and gentle reading..
well done
~GILL~x -
I adored this accolade,this tribute,this honouring of love in this poetry,it is wonderful!So soft,yet so strong in its foundation,I could not choose a favourit part,it is all delightful and it flows like a gently movin stream on a sumers day,warmly bathing the reader,love and light,Yvette
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Great
That poem was wonderful, I loved it so much -
EXCELLENT
i am touched by such a wonderful writing. Lol, it shows great skill in the use of imagery and words. Thank u very much for being inspired to write this wonderful piece. I do love this. Keep writing dear friend, the sky is the limit.
Good day.
A friend.
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Beautiful
This is very well thought out and so sensous.I loved the everythought of this poem.Very erotic and sweet all at the same time.Whew!! Keep up the great work! -
It brought tears to my eyes... I'm marking you as a favourite... because if what you write is all as good as this, i want to read it as soon as you put it up. Beautiful work. best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you so very much for such a beautiful and encouraging comments. yes, I love those parts too. Those are very special to me. I'm so happy you felt it too.
~Michelle~
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That is the beauty of the work, there are no ultimatums, no comparisons. It's not I'd rather be a boy than a girl. It's I want to be part of everything you are. Thank you so much for coming by and reading my work. I do appreciate it.
~Michelle~
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You've listed all the things you'd rather be ... but what were you comparing them to? I'd rather be this ... or something else ... I'd rather be .... but "I'd rather be" is usually used in conjunction with the words "instead of" or "than" eg "I'd rather be a human girl than a bird" "I'd rather be able to do this instead of having to do that". Otherwise, not a bad write.
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I'd rather be the knowing, of you wanting me
or inside your loving gaze seeing what you see
I’d rather be in the December of your memories
or the sparks of “ember” when you remember me
I'd rather be a part of your heart and soul
For ever joined together – is forever whole
those three sets of lines made this poem. you did a great job. no, you did a fantastic job. viyanna r langager
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Don,
Oh my! Thank you so much for such a beautiful comment and the applause! You are so very encouraging! It's so good to see you on my page once again. I thought maybe you dropped from the face of the earth! You've been missed!
~Michelle~
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Romantically Superb!
WOW! Michelle,
This is your best poem I have ever read in the romance department.Your talent is really flowing with this one.It freely flows flawlessly(say that 3 times fast )and the rhyme scheme was superb!Thanks for pouring it on Michelle Best of luck to you in the contest and Happy Valentine's Day to you Take care and keep writing!
Don -
SO SWEET AND DEEPLY TOUCHING
Oh my dear Michelle! This is so beautifully written. Truly passionate and touching!
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A very Happy Valentine's Day ! May love and all it's splendor be your's.
~Michelle~
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It could and should be a song, all the rathers gathered into a lovely bouquet of thoughts freshly plucked from a sincere heart and soul.....lovely write......Happy Valentine"s Day....Artis
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Cheryl,
Thank you for coming by and visiting me. It's been a while. I've missed you. I have Seeing Clearly right here by my side to remind me. Because sometimes, it's hard to do.
Love ya,
~Michelle~
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My Dear wattle,
Thank you for your visit, It shows huh?
A very Happy Valentine's Day to you my friend.
~Michelle~
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Dear Friend,
First, thank you so much for the wonderful comment on my poem Seeing Clearly. Your comments were wonderful and insightful. Your applause was so appreciated.
This poem made me all teary eyed. I think because it reminds me of a poem I wrote for my husband. I guess the reason it made me all teary eyed is because I am going through a divorce right now, so..... well.... you know.
Beautiful poem, beautiful YOU.
Cheryl
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Ms 'heartnsoul', I'm quite sure you have been treated well in your past, you are such a romantic. Thank you.
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