Rouged and painted and masked –
Silent behind the halo
Of perfect, angel wallpaper
Feeding off the threads of existence,
Reveling in the light of a pinhole,
Exhausted by the vestiges of resistance,
Feeling the filtered dregs of beyond
Subsisting behind the stained glass
(Soiled by broken dreams and lies)
Haunted by florid strains
Of the infinite requiem mass
Like the panels of an inscrutable window,
Useless, helpless, and worn,
The molting peacock sheds its tresses
For the unremarkable misery below
Author notes
~inspired by the title of robert bolin's poem "The Other Side of the Stained Glass Window"~
Notice how the rhyme detoriorates throughout the piece... No idea why I wrote this, but it illustrates the decay of the ubiquitous facade of "perfection".
Any and all suggestions are welcome!
Written February 12th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
Hey there! Thank you for the compliments! Yeah, I'm kinda busy right now... And I'm kinda taking a break from writing. It began with a boy, and even though the saga is kinda ending, I still don't have enough spare emotion to write anything.
But how are you?
s
Kyla -
This is absolutly awsome! I love it! I first looked at it because I have a poem called Painted... it's very very different from this lol.
By the way, it's been awhile since I heard form you.
How are you? -
a masterpiece! an absolute masterpiece! kyla! i can't believe i havn't read your poetry in this long. this was amazing! it like you damned all that was good! your rhyme was...just wow! your feeling just breeds into something differnt and stronger and more fierce with each stanza. your last two lines are rock hard if that makes any sence to you whatsoever. they are so force point proven.
this was just so amazing. my comment makes no sence but...i dont know how to put it in words. i really dont. you just feel what it is and thats it. this is one of your best...at least in my opinion. always keep writing...i think im going to do some catch up on you now *kat~~~ -
The language and imagery of this poem really took my breath away. It seemed to get stronger and more poignant as the poem wore on with the last stanza, I think, being the mmost powerful with it's description of the molting peacock and windows. Beautiful. This is very gracefully written.
[a thought (since you had invited critique) cliches line broken dreams bother me in poetry as they are often tired and overused, maybe an image to signify the phrase would be more original and captivating? Although I must say, the poem was strong enough for me to overlook that phraseology. ]
Thank you so much for entering my contest. This is a strong piece. -
beautifully written..great detail and structure..keep it up..good luck in the contest..
Linda -
You're definitely not nobody, Encore, and I appreciate your kind words! If you don't have a trophy right now it's probably because you haven't entered the right contest.
It's like in theatre: you might be the most AMAZING actress ever, but if you're not right for the part, it doesn't matter. You just have to find the show where you ARE just right.
I look forward to reading your stuff! Thank you so much for the comment and compliments.
s
Kyla
P.S. Hope that eye gets better! Do you wear contacts? I wear hards, and sometimes I do things like put them in the wrong eyes or get make up in my eyes, both painful experiences. If you wear contacts, clean them. Otherwise, maybe try resting the eye in a darkened room. It's worked for me before... -
WOW...JUST...WOW!!!
WOW. WOW. i'm nobody..but..this is so just so....incredible to me. i would say more, but i don't have the talen to be a critic..and..im blind in one eye today...woke up with something in it...i can barely see of thing...and i need to offer you an apology for not getting to more of your work sooner. if i did read this quality of work more regularly...maybe i'd have at least one trophy by now. happy valentines day...nad may love and all good things find you today. you're a blessing to this site and the literary world. to me anyway. all the best to you. -encore- (sorry for not comm more on your work..so much programming to do.) have a great day....me.






2 old applause
