I was on my way back from leave the academy on Carrida,
when i met her all encased in white,
She sat on the same transport as me,
her voice was a pure delight.
We spoke for hours of our service to the emperor,
she placed her armor clad hand in mine as we made the jump,
her cracking helmet shadowed voice intrigued me,
and when she caressed my armour i felt totally limp.
When we were alone on the roof of the academy
she finally revealed her face to me in secret
I went down on my knee offered a black rose
and asked her to marry me by imperial decree
She took the rose an answered me yes
we walked into our study without any witnesses
and what happened there you may only guess
but now we will serve the empire as one
Author notes
Written February 12th, 2006
A contest entry
- I am your Father (STAR WARS) by Heartofacircle.
300 points, ended February 15, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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AWESOME POEM
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awesome!so thats love
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I enjoyed the imagery this poem created in my mind. I really see you kneeling on the roof of the academy in your picture!
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So you did.
Good luck in the contest. -
thanks for the corrections :-) I have applied them already.
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this was very well done and love the picture, thanks for sharing this piece, keep up the awesome poetry and goodl luck in this contest
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There are a few typos you might want to fix:
she place her armor clad hand in mine (she placed her armor clad)
and when she caressed my armour i felt totally lump. (I felt totally limp)
and asked her to marry me by imperial decret (by Imperial decree)
Otherwise, this is clever and it works on its own level. I write sci-fi too, sometimes, but don't have time to write anything for this contest.
Anyway, good job, all in all.
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this is sweet keep up the awesome poetry
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Excellent
I'm a Star Wars fan and did indeed love this Poem. I could imagine the Academy on Carrida and of the two Storm Troopers sitting on the Transport :-). 'May the Force Be With You'. -
Awesome write
Josephine.
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aww this was sweet ^^ Great way to propose ^^ great write
1 - 11 of 11






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