My nights are long and lonely, with many hours of despair,
I long to feel the silken touch, of my love’s sweet smelling hair.
My heart is bursting with affection, and noble deeds undone,
Why can’t I find a true caring love, to be my own special one?
My love is large and boundless, flowing until my dying day,
As I only give my purest feelings, for I know no other way.
My tears drop soft and flowing, briefly dancing in the dust,
Without a sign of their existence, so wrongful and unjust.
My chest abounds with laughter, and my head is full of song,
Why am I being tortured ?, I’ve done nothing that is wrong.
I am not on a white charging horse, like a gallant knight of old,
But I only want to freely give, the things above I’ve told.
Author notes
'Its Marvelous' Option 1
Written February 11th, 2006 Bazza
In a list
A contest entry
- Your Very Best #2 (pre-writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
415 points, ended April 18, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seekers of Love, Paradise, or Peace by Wandering Spirit.
600 points, ended May 6, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Romantic Poetry, Help me find my missing inspiration by Arrianna MacEwan.
450 points, ended August 20, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 54 of 54
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very sweet and well written poem, but like most well written poems was a little hard to follow the first time thru good luck in the contest.
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Thank you for your comment but I am amazed you had a problem understanding it ... I don't know how to reply on that one.
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this poem is really nice, although I do not like the paragraph format the you typed it in, that does not affect the actual poem
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Very nice. Thanks for entering!
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Thank you for your comment.
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MidnightAmethyst I am so pleased that you enjoyed my very first "picture poem" where I do all the work by writing and the reader only has to read. My personal basic rules are :- "A poem that is lived while it is read is a success but a poem that doesn't is merely a string of words" , and "the poet should do the work,not the reader".
I try to provide a picture painted with words so that the reader receives a message as close as possible to my own.
Thank you for the generous applause and wonderful comments as all poets write to give and share and therefore to please a reader is the eventual achievement especially if they receive a piece of the poet's heart along the way. Thanks a million. -
Thank you again for entering my contest. Now for your poem...wow pretty much covers it. There was so much emotion in this poem. This was breathtakingly beautiful is so many ways! I loved how you gradually let the reader get their feet wet before taking the plunge head first into the water. The ending was done very well. In love poems the ending does not need to be extremely powerful, yet there still has to be substance to it. You hit the nail head on, dead center. The way you descibed things and your word choice was jawdroppingly good. I get so many images from your words, it is so amazing.
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MidnightAmethyst I apologise for not putting the required data in the author's box. I was ceratin I had, but apparently I didn't or else did not click on it properly and it wasn't submitted. Thank you for giving me the cahnce to rectify the error and I have submitted another oem that may be a bit closer to the option selected. (The Wind) opt 13
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Thank you for that comment as it means we are on similar wavelengths so I will read some of yours. You know I have had hundreds (women mostly) around the world tell me how much they realate to that poem especially. Also Wendy and Until the End of Time (which features my painting of her) just to name a few. The recent ones have been a bit naughty but humorous.
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VERY IMPRESSIVE!
This is a beautifully worded poem that conveys lots of emotions about the persona and his adventures in with the oppossite sex.I admire the style and the presentation in this poem. -
Thank you for such a sincere comment. I have had a lot of nit pickers but I wrote it as I felt it without the convention of rules. (where they get them from makes me wonder at times.) I hope you enjoy some of my other work too.
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such heart moving words,truth spoken from the heart not the mind i loved you poem and the wordsand whisdom you share on your authors page,great write my friend.
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your words mean so much
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Thank you Steve. It is great to have made friends like you on this site and by Friend I mean what I have said on allpoetry.com/
poem/1745206/a when you have time.ll=1
Barry -
A beautifully flowing love song full of heartfelt sentiment Barry. Rhyme and flow are well done as usual. This is one to be proud of for sure. Great job. Take care and Have fun. Steve
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You can see some of my arton the following allpoetry.com/poems/1713689 allpoetry.com/poems/1791153 allpoetry.com/poems/1773905
These are the only drawings on this site, but I am happy to confirm that the likeness is perfect.
Thank you for your interest. -
X cellente
Very eloquent style Barry, I would love to see some of your art if you have them digitally available. I see writing as a medium just like pastels but an endless array of colours as they make an impression unique to each ones heart that percieves them...
I am using the mixed medium too for some of my writing. I like the concept of using the powerful visual medium and them a slower recognition that leaves an even deeper impression on the heart.
Great writing and I'll keep reading...
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the love and affection that came jumping out at me love this piece of work a beauiful piece of poetry.. love this. thanks for sharing it.
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Thank you for the lovely comment. My screen name Bazza is Ozzie slang for Barry. I wont be posting much for a while but there are over 30 poems on my site that I think you would enjoy too.
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aww very well written and i know how you feel
*sighs* its a shame that love takes forever to find us lol i was also wondering how you came up with your screen name its unique i like it
well talk to you later i guess
great write keep on penning these wonderful creations
foralways and forever,
xoxo
Mandy
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Thank you for the lovely comment, but to me this is poetry not unrhymed freeverse which is too antiseptic in my opinion.
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You have an awsome way with words. I really enjoyed this. The rhyme scheme is beautiful and the words are lovely. Wonderful write.
Amanda -
Well that is a beautiful comment which I humbly accept. For your tender age you are a very perceptive and sensitive person which is the essence of a good poet. Listen to advice and consider their points and then decide how YOU want to do it...and do it, but you have to be prepared to accept both the brick bats and the bouquets. Keep writing for you have the tools and from now on youwill be learning. I hope you like my other poems as well.
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Amazing! I just love this poem so much! You did such a nice job in it expressing emotions and loss and pain!
This is one of the best poems I have read on this site, I am not kidding, you, sir, are truly talented.
It says you ask for a critical review, but I could not find anything to critique on.
Such a nice job, well done. I cannot express that enough. -
Thank you for such a nice comment .
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Well it has been read now and thank goodness.A very touching piece.Who knows why we have to wait for that special person but if we are patient we do meet them in the end, Ros
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I hope you like my other work too for there is a broad selection.
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Thank you so much. i am certain you will like my other work too.
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Thank you for your lovely comments and maybe you can see why I was angry because the entry was not even read, let alone judged and this has happend four time sthis week with various poems and competitions. So much so i was going to leave but I have promised to stay as I have a fast growing number of people who have me on their favourites list. I am humbled bu your praise but it is great that you enjoyed it.
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I know that are a lot of people like you here on AP who can rhyme their poems with so much ease. I do, but never like this. This flows so, so well, and the message reads so so smoothly. I specially liked the line which touched me most, As I only give my purest feelings, for I know no other way. I think its no point to be fake, like most do, and when you give from within, and without selfishness, it will be the purest and honest. Well written piece. this is perhaps the first time I am reading from you and just stopped for a while to go thru your bio page, and saw that you have many favourites that are mine as well.
Hope you have a great day!
Love and light,
Lencio
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I agree with melonie74, you can really tell you poured your hard out into this poem. I really liked this because it had a little piece of you inside it and that makes it really special. I think you should enter this in a contest. You would at least get a trophy. Good luck and keep writing.
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Wow! I saw your courageous (if thats how you spell it) outburst (if hats what you could call it) there. I love seeing things like that. It just shows how passionate people are about poetry! And I can tell from every single poem and comment I read of yours, you are definitealy a writer that writes with passion! I look up to you so much! You are awesome!!
Em
Edited on Feb 18, 7:39 because ''. -
Beautiful
I can see your heart written in this piece,It is very touching.
I enjoyed the flow of great words.Thanks for sharing. -
Thank you for such a lovely comment. Sometimes I wonder too how a five word free verse can be judged more descriptive.
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This has to be the sweetest thing I've read so far... It's one thing to tell an audience about your emotions, but it's another to have them right there with you.
It has a nice rhythm/flow to it as well. Good writing style - well developed.
=> Jess Black
Edited on Feb 18, 7:03 because ''. -
As a mark of my appreciation, I am feauturing this poem, so that others too can see it. And I want them to see how poems like these are not placed because people just give away the prizes to their friends.
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I just read your comments, on how you wanted fairness and honesty. I can understand why you lost your temper. Anyways, the poem was beautiful. Honestly. It deserves to be placed. Well done. You can rhyme really well. I applaud you.
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I understand your feelings to give and to give wholeheartedly without any limitations, the give of the whole self, body and soul. To have it returned with love from within the same energy that you give. The interconnectedness of two souls uniting deep to the core, almost like a place that no one has ever touched before, like virgin territory. Love like this does not happen everyday, nor do many know how to give of themselves like this. That is what I am talking about!!!
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It is BOTH !! I am a happy person, but sad there is no one to give my feelings to ...... Thank you for commenting. It is starange how many people say they relate 100% to this poem.
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This is a very fine and moving poem. I really enjoyed it! But i can't work out if the poet is happy or sad or both at once. ("Sweet-smelling) should be hypenated - a minor point.
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Excellent poem
Talent beaming out like this poetry should be a beacon to the ladies romantic receptors that would change the situation in the poem! --Ellis -
This piece really comes from the loving emotions deep down in your heart. It is in the perfect season for Valentine's Day and is romantic. As usual, you have a rhyming scheme that is unforced. Your writing possesses a lot of beauty+talent and I hope to continue to see more!
-♥->Arielle -
WONDERFUL POEM
Ah this was so heartfelt. I can so relate to this. Sometimes it takes a while for love to come along again. Who can really know what God's plans are for us. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem. I love these lines.
My love is large and boundless, flowing until my dying day,
As I only give my purest feelings, for I know no other way.
They say so much about who you are.God Bless you!
Take care
Sandy
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Good use of alliteration Keep writing, I liked the sweetness and sorrow here Good use of rhyme
All the best
Pozo
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I second your bold statement, for all entries should at least be read. You followed the rules and put the quote. Seems as if you followed the rules to me.
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Awww! That is so sweet! It is a gorgeous poem! You are a beautiful writer!
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WHY WAS THIS CONTEST CLOSED BEFORE THE PUBLISHED CLOSING DATE AND WHY HAVE I NOT RECEIVED A REPLY TO THE QUESTIONS SENT TO YOU ?? IF YOU ARE GOING TO HOLD COMPETITIONS THEN YOU SHOULD BE FAIR AND HONEST. YOU WANNA SEE TALENT ?? I WANNA SEE HONESTY AND FAIRNESS.
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"my love's sweet smelling hair" that line caught me. I could see the picture unfolding as if a prayer to God, knowing one's own capacity for love and bursting with it but no one to share it will - it is torture. I feel it strongly. well painted for the mind's canvas. this engaged my senses.
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Thank you for your comment especially as that is exactly what I try to do. Write a poem that gives the same feelings, emotions and picture of what I felt so that I can share it. It is not possible to do it to the same extent with Free verse, in my opinion.But biased I may be. lol.
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This is a very touching and lovely poem. Your feelings are well represented, vividly strong and concisely written. I feel like I know you by reading your words. Well, done.
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Thanks Princess, I know what you mean, but there is still a lot of beauty all around us waiting to be noticed.
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wow..my lovely daddy,this is so great and wonderful.You know it seems that these are my words that you've written here for I have exactly the same feeling for years.
I love it.
You know daddy,the only reason that keeps me going is that I know God watches over us and whatever is our fate is sure the best.We're feeling like this for this world as it's large is very small too.At least that's how I feel.My wondering soul always says:"This is a small world,I want more!!!"
Wish you happy days daddy,I love you a lot.
Shahrzad
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Thankyou Maria.
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Awww, this is so sweet and sad!! Another wonderful job!!
Maria xoxox
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