You are my friend, the one I created in my head
You're the person I talk to when she acts like this
The yearning I feel for consistency
Is embodied in your existence
Tonight she said I wasn't good enough
Again
And tomorrow we'll go to Toys R Us
Again
And it makes me wonder who I really am
Am I shit like she says sometimes
Or am I truly good enough
Because everything I do wrong, she bottles
Until it's so convenient
For her to use against me and tear down my strength
No one loved her enough
So she'll do it to me
She feeds off her anger, an eternal-burning flame
Until I don't see her behind her eyes anymore
She becomes something else
Then tries to make it up with ice cream and presents
But you understand, I can make you understand
Comfort me like no one else will
Tell me I'm not awful
I killed a cat the other day
I said it was an accident, but I'm telling you, I lied
It was weird seeing his pain
Making myself feel as awful as she says I am
To have that weigh on my conscience, forever
But I'm not awful, right? I know she lied to me!
I've been getting sick more lately
And I hope she notices
The internal pain has found a place to go
And I wonder if she'll even care
Author notes
I guess this is pretty self-explanatory. No matter how close of friends we are now, I'm not sure if the kid inside me can ever truly forgive her.
Written February 11th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Pain, anger, abuse. by Senior09.
1000 points, ended February 12, 2006, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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OI...that's just...awful. My mother and I were at odds with each other for several years, but I always knew deep down that she cared even when we were at each other's throats. I've never known the pain of something like this.
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GREAT!keep it up.
omg.. that one made me cry. That is so good! I don't know what to say. I'm awe-stricken! wow.. -
my mom and i are like this, it was like i saw myself in ur work. u are talented, and im srry if this happend to u. i know exactly how it feels to have a parent take out her anger on me then try and make it up the next day or so with presents, and nice food.
Autumn
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