The two now walk together, hand in hand, on towards their common goal. The Boy tells the Queen of His plight, of His crumbling land, the land from which He hails.
She comforts the Boy and He sees Her now, seeing Her for who She is. She tells the boy of Her self, how She loves and hides. He tells Her of how He loves and adores Her.
She knights the Boy, calling Him by a new name. She claims His wandering heart as Her own, and gives a home to His sorrow and comfort to His pain.
He stands and embraces His Queen, His chest now bearing Her mark. As he holds her, armor to guard His heart now forms on Him. A sword to slash the demons of strife and chaos is now found at His waist.
He watches as his Queen's heart opens and She cries. Her tears stain His armor and strenghen Him, the love She has protects Him. He loves his Queen and holds Her close.
They walk, hand in hand, through the wilderness. Their adventure has begun.
They have fought loneliness, a succubus, and fatigue...they are still walking, closer then before.
The succubus came to the Knight, showing her body. Her wanton lust allured the Knight. The Queen's rightious wrath has saved the Knight and the succubus fled unfulfilled. The Queen held her Knight, She refuses to share Him. Her righteous avarice serves her well, the Knight chooses His loyalty to the Queen.
Author notes
Written February 9th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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hmmm so the queen isnt quite as deceiving as i had perceived....
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wonderful
i see the strength, in the way you write. this was presented in a stern manner as to which brings to look for more in the future. You have a nice style and it was presented well. -
I am glad that you did more with this. You should consider writing short stories...I think you would them up your alley
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Very nice indeed. I'm glad it didn't turn out like I thought it was going to. Much better this way. I like the thought of a good Queen in the snow rather than the White Witch of Narnia.
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Wow, this is really awesome, you have a great style and a talent that shows through. I love the storyline, its so cool. You should continue this.
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interesting
A nice continuation fo the poem. I think the shift from outright poem to the smooth combination of poem and story make this more appealing. Keep this up, I am interested to continue reading. -
Geez...all this wonderful...romantic...beautiful work this week is making me feel "left out". Nevertheless you already knew I was gonna say this was nice because well...I'll let you in on a little secret, "I'm not a real critic"
But seriously, this piece is good so full of love, and some imagery, and of course it was powerful....Take Care-Ann
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brilliant work on this poem
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*wipes away tears* Beautiful...(reads it over again) Wow...well, to start, I will say that I am very impressed by your writing...You have talent...really...keep writing...I love the way you tell of the Boy receiving his armor..becoming the Knight..I love how i can see the meaning, the events you have included in the story...I love that it continues from pt. 1..."the two now walk hand in hand towards their common goal"...how the continue telling each other of themselves and their feelings...I can see them opening up to each other and falling in love. "He stands and embraces His Queen, His chest now bearing Her mark. As he holds her, armor to guard His heart now forms on Him. A sword to slash the demons of strife and chaos is now found at His waist." I love how you tell that..awesome..armor forms...then the Queen's heart opens and she cries...yeah..she's opened herself to him, loves him...Yes...an adventure it is.
the story of the succubus...wow...powerfully told...I love it...really..
I love the whole thing
you tell the story so well...again, like a fairy tale...beautifully written, a fantastic adventure....but real..very real...very deep...I'm so glad you wrote this...maybe there will be future parts?? that would be a real treat 
You couldnt have told it better.
thank you for writing and posting this...thank you for everything...
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