He wonders if she likes him,
And asks me advice,
I want to chuckle a little,
Because it's so obvious.
He should tell her that he likes her,
Because she would never know,
If he didn't tell her,
And it would be full of sorrow.
Author notes
I just wrote that to have something to my name.
Written February 9th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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Tease!
And then what happened? Where did he put his hand? Come on, tell us, your readers are eager to know! Boast! -
I am not sure I really like this poem. I am guessing Randomly Quickly was just so you could have a poem on Allpoetry. Personally though, I think that you could have done better with it. It's short, but not sweet, and honestly, sort of stupid. You should have worked on it more, and I agree with Kittys Meow, it is pretty pointless all in all. I wish you had changed it, and I hope that you will edit it.
Personally to make it better I think that you really need to work on the flow, because there really is none here. You need to make it sound better first, and then you need to really work on your wording so people can get some type of emotion from it. Once you've done this, the poem should already be improved by a lot. Then you can just do minor tweaking of your own, and it could be a really good poem.
I hope that you follow my advice, as I've taken a while telling you it.
Exs -
This is kind of pointless and not so understanding
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