tie my hands up to the headboard
this time you win, this time i lose
i forfeit every shred of dignity
i don't matter anymore
do you even notice me
the woman you walk away from?
whose eyes burn into the night
with tears that fall for you
so strike the match and let it burn
feel the heat surround my soul
leave me there tied and bound
watch the flames dance upon my face
see the fire in my eyes?
the one that burns for you?
see how it's torn into reality?
how it swallows me whole?
so i'll look up through the flames
see your face burning crimson there
see the light reflecting in the darkness
of the depths of your broken eyes
so go on, look right through me
you'll do it anyway
go on and dont realize
how much i care for you
i'll just keep my silence
words burning unsaid inside
do you even care, do you even care?
will you ever notice this?
look down and laugh at me
as i gaze up into your face
i'll laugh but you'll never realize
im burning alive for you
A contest entry
- Give me your best for 2000 points by Hadji Murad.
1887 points, ended December 7, 2006, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I like this
I feel sad anyway
but it's nolonger tha laxatives all over the living room floor that's the problem
or the ivory manipulation of Mr. Rachmaninov
pen and paper at the ready Ms. Dion
you horse faced bitch!
Your write
has immense power
usually "you don't love me anymore poems" make me go a big, rubbery one
"I'll just keep my silece
words burning unsaid inside
do you even care, do you even care?
there's real emotion there
real honesty.
I feel bad because I'm in no real position to provide any form of literary analysis
so instead, read this comment
and know that most of the weird stuff was evoked by your poem.
Suffice to say
I shall return.
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wooohoo is it hot in here or is it just this poem???? the powerful emotions.. omg and the lust.. yeeahhhh georgous. good luck!
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Excellent
I really loved this poem.It reads very personal, filled with emmotion and frustration.There are many good lines, too numerous to mention. Together they add up to an excellent powerful write.Well done,Take care, Moon Shadow. -
so go on, look right through me
you'll do it anyway
go on and dont realize
how much i care for you
i have been there before and it will be a cold day in hell before any one ever makes me feel this way again. you have written this so strongly that i felt that panic from way back then. great job in expressing this. viyanna r langager -
great
really good. strong poem throughout. it makes me think of any person that loves someone that much. -
That is really good! I especially like the very strong ending. That is my favorite part of a poem, ending strong. I also liked that it flowed very well without rhyming, because that can be hard to do sometimes.
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Thought I would start at the begining and read what you have to say... I like what I have read and know that as each poem well bloom like a blossom. I enjoyed reading this poem, and Thank You for checking out mine...
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why thank you! i try my best to convey what i mean... hugs.
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i really enjoyed this one! i like the decriptive metaphors a lot!! my two fav lines have to be "watch the flames dance upon my face" and "im burning alive for you" lots of fire imagery but awesome use of it!! i really like this one!
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Very expressive write...your imagery is great. Thank you for your entry and I wish you all the best in the contest ~ James
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Great job
If this is a personal write, then my heart reaches out to you hun.
For expressing your feelings, I truly commend you, and you did so quite well! The picture is also very pertinent to the message of this piece, nice choice.
Nehoo, you did a great job expressing yourself here. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes always!
Stacy
I'd also like to take the opportunity to officially Welcome to Allpoetry! I hope you enjoy all the site has to offer.
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Wow!!! This poem is very powerful. It conveys such strong emotion via vivid imagery and i can really relate to this. I loved some of the images you use here - they are wonderful metaphors
Welcome to AllPoetry.
xxx
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