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Possible Paranoia

CLICK THIS LINK FOR THE MP3 - homepage.ntlworld.com/danabouk/Possible%20Paranoia%20-%20Dan%20Abo.mp3



If I you could roll a dice
To determine your life
Would you think twice?
Anything is possible
Would you take my advice?
Be paranoid properly
Or pay the price


It's probably probable I'll be paranoid forever
I live by the proverb of the probable "never say never"
It's probably probable I'm not big or clever
A probable probability that my ability to endeavour
Will fail when I fall from hostility and stop saying "whatever"
However
This paranoid debility stems from the possibility
That my versatility agility will one day volatility implode
The feasible feasibility that my creativity will explode
Is probably as probable as my paranoid parable
It's terrible, unbearable yet repairable
Comparable to those that are reborn
I was once scorn, forlorn
Torn between two ways
Worn out and dazed
A rose between a probable plural thorn
I was born, I grew waiting to adorn, now I've sworn
To live life being probably paranoid forever
With the probable possibility that hostility left me clever

Intelligence is irrelevant to the benevolent
That's relevant to the malevolent
Entirely a probable possible conclusion
The allusion of this illusion, a paranoid delusion
Is probably a probable possible confusion
A fusion of diffusion to spread to an occlusion
Includes the possible probable to infect an inclusion
That occludes the probable possibility of collusion
Secrets, lies, spies, I despise the wise
That revise before they look to skies
No surprise that I'm probably paranoid
Annoyed by the void that I've so enjoyed
Been employed, unemployed, now I've deployed
Tactics so erratic, beyond Sigmund Freud
And this probably probably possible paranoid delusion
The conclusion is that I'm far beyond confusion


If I you could roll a dice
To determine your life
Would you think twice?
Anything is possible
Would you take my advice?
Be paranoid properly
Or pay the price

If I you could roll a dice
To determine your life
Would you think twice?
Anything is possible
Would you take my advice?
Be paranoid properly
Or pay the price

Author notes


Written February 9th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 46 of 46

  • Freestyle Bushido
    July 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like this alot! i will have to come back and check out the mp3, thanks for entering and good luck.


  • XFaLLen-StarX
    August 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i likeeeeeeeeee this .. weally enjoyed it .. is that u signin tho ?! i like the accent .. i wanna hear u sayin "bloody"
    naa seriously, well the piece is gr8, the words are awesome,gr8 choice btw..and the music is good as well..
    nice job

    me
    xxx


  • flyingphoenix
    July 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    wow this was really well written! listened to the MP3 as well! very clever!


  • The.Stars.Go.Blue
    June 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    How you kept up this solid rhyme throughout your entire song is just amazing to me, this is splendid. I could never accomplish what you did right here, and what's worse is that you did it WELL. Grr, I'm so jealous.
    Must point out these two lines:
    "A probable probability that my ability to endeavour
    Will fail when I fall from hostility and stop saying "whatever""
    I <3 then with a passion. Great work here Dan.
    Ashleigh <3


  • DanASBO
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Indeed, this is just one track off my album. Link's to MP3's are at the top of every page Enjoy!

    Thank you.

    Dan.


  • Disguising Mask
    March 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Nice...u a song writer? i loved it man...it flowed together perfectly...


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    If I you could roll a dice
    To determine your life
    Would you think twice?
    Anything is possible
    Would you take my advice?
    Be paranoid properly
    Or pay the price

    i really like this. i could hear this as a rap. i may have to listen. you did an excellent job in describing this for us. thank you for sharing it. the picture you have fits so very well. thank you. viyanna r langager


  • requiempoet gold member
    February 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dan the man, his poetry has so much floetry that I could not imagine that his passion; in life isn't writing!! I'm constantly biting my nails to see if this young man will prevail!! will he succeed? I'm sure he will!

    Rosita

    ps if you say it just right..its like a rhyme

  • DanASBO
    February 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    lmao, I can't believe I missed those things and after 82 views yuo would think other people would notice
    Too late to change it now, MP3 made, it'll go on the blooper reel.

    Cheers

    Dan

  • ecrivain01
    February 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a hoot. It would be better though if you fixed a few things. Here, for instance:

    I was once scorn(ed), forlorn

    and the correct singular version is "throw a di", since dice is plural, so you should say, "If you could throw the dice".

    Otherwise, this is good, and it's funny, and you've accomplished what you set out to do.

    I see that you had a rather difficult childhood, and I know all about that, since I did too. It's hard to get past some of those things, as I am sure you know.

    Good luck with your writing.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    February 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A well constructed thought provoking write,I certainly don`t want to be in the vivinity of your agility when and if your creativity explodes,better than to implode anyhow lol, a very different write, a refreshing change and a learning curve, there are two new words in there that I am not sure I am au fait with the definition,time to get my dictionary out,ahhh,we leave school and join the school of life do we not?love and light,Yvette

  • DirtyGirl18
    February 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    EXCELLENT!!!! KEEP IT COMING!!!!


  • individuality gold member
    February 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    to have some healthy paranoia in one's life is a good thing i reckon. alliteration, it rolls off the tongue, i fancy some peas now!


  • lady Rose
    February 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    great

    a very very nicely written piece of poetry!
    I truly enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading more of your work!
    very nicely done!


  • RestfulBuddy
    February 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome!

    The poem is really awesome. I like how you use words with the same beginnings (I'm blanking out on what that's called) x). And I love the ryhming. I don't think any of it sounds forced, which is very excellent.
    You also have a very VERY nice wide variety of vocabulary. Had to pull out the dictionary a few times. Haha, anywho, I really think this was very well written.

  • The Conspiracy
    February 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah man, send me the acapellas, the sound quality isnt too good though, i'll try sort that out, needs speeding up too and I hate that beat, but if you want it, it's up to you.

    Well done anyway.


  • TrulyLoothy
    February 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    you probably need to stop saying probably so frequently. You sound like the rain man.


  • Bronwyn
    February 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    *wow* what a SUPER COOL poem. i got a bit confused, but after the sencond time i got it!! very very good job. Keep it up!

    Cool Stuff!


  • Squirrel53
    February 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    YAY!!!

    yay!!!! i like it. u should enter a poem into my contest...i would really appreciate it. You are a great poet, so keep up the good work!

    ~kirstay~


  • HangingSoul
    February 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this was sooooooo great!!!.....i'm gonna add you to my favourites because of this poem....and mind you i haven't got a single person on my list right now!!....i really love the chorus...a lot!!! a Lot!!!

    wat lines oh god!!!....i love the way you describe why it's important to be completely paranoid to be alive...

    I also like the following lines

    "Comparable to those that are reborn
    I was once scorn, forlorn
    Torn between two ways
    Worn out and dazed
    A rose between a probable plural thorn
    I was born, I grew waiting to adorn, now I've sworn"

    I like your rhymes!! i like the way you've used the alliteration...it's a nice sound that u've picked for alliteration "orn"...it's just beautiful!!!

    I salute you man!! i do!! you have a rare talent!!i think you're extrememly creative!!

    This was great
    Thanx for sharing this!!
    Luv
    VidZ


  • Symphony
    February 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Nice job on this one - you obviously know your words anyway to be able to write this. It wasn't quite my style of poem / music, but I do think it is rude to click on a featured item and then not leave a comment as it costs you everytime someone clicks so thought I'd leave a comment out of polite interest


  • pyewacket
    February 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is witty and clever, an endeavor to be proud of!! I was blown away by your abilities and your incredible talent with words. The rhyme and flow of this are impecible and really drives some deep thoughts into the reader. As a person who lives with paranoia this is so well written and gets the idea through very clearly. You truly have a wonderful talent here, and I look forward to reading more of your work!!

  • Brokeniseasilyfixed
    February 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    HOLY CRAP!!! That is a whole lot o rhyming! I actually had to read it out loud because there was just so much I had a hard time reading it inside my head. I was just like whoa! This was indeed very clever. Great job with this! I enjoyed reading it, keep up the great work!


  • army ajent
    February 13, 2006
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    you a very clever I read this twice and it was better the second time. great rhyming and fabulous rythm


  • Playful Angel
    February 13, 2006
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    great poem. i really enjoyed reading this, it was so well written. would love to hear the mp3 but for some reason it aint working, any idea why ?


  • Ninja Of Woe
    February 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    amazingly amazing

    Secrets, lies, spies, I despise the wise
    That revise before they look to skies
    Those have to be my two favorite lines. Also, I love how you put the raw emotion and feeling into this. In the speakers of my mind I can imagine a paranoid man saying something like this.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    February 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Daniel, I checked out the mp3 and your voice is too low in the mix. I like to hear these read out because you give them precisely the treatment you want us to "hear" when we read them over. Good stuff, rap-like as ever, using rhyme and repetition to hammer its points home.


  • LadyUnique silver member
    February 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is beyond clever it must be read more than once
    this must have taken forever to write and i admire the talent you have to do this. it may seem one huge tongue twister but there's much meaning hidden in them there words


  • blueyez
    February 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this with all your probebly probabilities. Nice write as always Daniel.

  • karabi
    February 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It made me almost a paranoid!


  • fuz Z navel
    February 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i ♥ you! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr


  • Bungalow Bill
    February 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I do worry about you mate! Great poem though...


  • Bungalow Bill
    February 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I do worry about you mate! Great poem though...

  • DanASBO
    February 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Waited up to see what you thought I can count on you to tell it like it is, lol. I was going for something more experimental with this one, off-key to further the experience of a paranoid confusion. I may try doing this over a more hip-hop beat to see if it sounds any better. Thanks for the tip off. Looking forward to next collab.

    Laters mate.


  • Anathematized
    February 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Masterful lyrics, the beat is funky, but good, but you kind of rapped it off key, it just didn't fit with the beat in my opinion. unless you're were going for a whole weird experimental sound, which is cool too.


  • Uticajohnson
    February 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    good ~audri

  • SimplySakina
    February 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant

    this poem shows that you did not sit with the dictionary and look for words that rhyme, but it is good hard work and plain skill of poetry that brought about this...

    i will sure be checking out more of your poetry...
    Sweetful


  • Master Domtos rose
    February 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this sounds so much like me!! I am always so paranoid about things it's unbelievable. Cheers for the glimpse into myself


  • DanASBO
    February 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    It wasn't the easiest of songs to make, all tongue-twistery


  • The Pipers Call
    February 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love it, but I sure as hell wouldn't wanna say it out loud.


  • DanASBO
    February 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the comment, just wondering, did you listen to the MP3?


  • Damaged-Rose
    February 9, 2006
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    i did not click and run away! this was a nice poem. I enjoyed reading it.


  • February 9, 2006
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    different and great flow loved it


  • xDemonicxAngelx
    February 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I like the title of this poem.. It caught my eye.. The poem was really good and I loved the flow.. This was really interesting and very unique.. Great write


  • Robbwindow
    February 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanks

  • blueyez
    February 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    This sounds like areading at an open mic night. It has a very hip flow and I love it! Truly an awesome write.

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