Vibrant colors revealed at each day's end,
there’s nothing like California summer skies
Purples, oranges and blues all blend
Vibrant colors revealed at each day's end
The beauty of it all cannot transcend
its splendor set before all our eyes
Vibrant colors revealed at each day's end,
there’s nothing like California summer skies
Author notes
Written February 9th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Post a Poem by Legend.
300 points, ended February 18, 2006, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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WOW! This is so beautiful and delightful to read. What a picture painting in words this is. You have me in awe and admiration of your very first Triolet that I have read. Sunsets are one part of the evening I will not miss for anything on earth - I adore them!!! As a teen I painted many sunsets on canvas
Love the alliteration "summer skies" and "splendor set". I like the repetition of the 's' sound throughout the poem in words like colors, day's, there's, purples, oranges, blues and so on...what is the term that's used when a sound repeats this way in the poem? The rhymes are also fantastic. Also, the meter has been maintained very well. The triolet form has been followed to perfection here. I wish this example could be posted on www.shadowpoetry.com for the world to see. You know, I have visited Orlando and lived there for 9 months. The next place I wish to visit is California to meet 2 people: Yourself and Haikumonk and haikumonkgirl too if that would be possible. It's a dream..maybe someday in life, hopefully in summer(so that I may take a picture with YOU under the summer skies) it'll come true
best always,
Your adoptee and friend
Charishma
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sweet.. Not only does California host lovely summer skies
just kiddin.. a very simple sweet sunset write
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California skies captured so colorfully and completely in just a few lovely words. Well done. ~ Sue
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This is good. Your cheering section says so, and who am I to argue?
You might want to omit "our" in this line though:
its splendor set before all our eyes
I think it would read better and sound better.
Good poem in any case. -
This is so beautiful and the flow is just smooth like gentle wind. I love the picture that you posted and your words create such vivid colors in mind. Thank you for sharing this and best wishes in the contest! Eris
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beautiful, it brings to my mind a favorite Eagles song from 'back in the day'
you can check out any time you want, but you can never leave...
hotel california, such a lovely place.... -
A Triolet triumph!
Beautiful, beautiful, magnificent.
Tecohe -
I like it....Short and sweet. The words bring the world alive. Nicely done.
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Excellent entry for this contest--both poem and picture walk hand in hand and create a beautiful piece of work. Well done and good luck.
shaz xx
Edited on Feb 13, 6:44 because ''. -
Simple, short and beauty with perfect choosen picture. Also, I like this kind of rhyming very much. It only looks to be simple, but it is not so easy to make it meaningfull and so nice flowing. Whole peom is like a caughted rainbow on the palm...
~Sonja~ -
Extraordinary
i am impressed at how a few words can convey such meaning you are a true artist -
GORGEOUS!!!!
John this is one amazing triolet!!!!! The stunning photo pales in comparison to the gorgeous vision you have painted with your elegantly penned words. There's just something magical about such a sunset, and you have captured that in this wonderfully written poem! BRAVO!!!! Karen
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I also enjoyed this triolet
and the imagery that it put in my mind
a delight to read..
Thanks for sharing
FrozenTears -
A lovely triolet...this poem is filled with vibrant colors and flowed smoothly. I love this summer sky...beautifully penned. Good luck in the contest..take care~
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awesome
Beautiful form and imagery!...I love this!...Good luck in the contest!...Lynda
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yes I see that this is a certain type of poetry and I think I wrote something like that type but with an extra line in it, this was very well done, thanks for sharing this piece, keep up the awesome poetry and good luck in this contest.
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Amazing Job
Wow... This is an amazing poem... It sets a lot of imagery, and wonderous pictures... A great poem in 8 lines... I never knew this was a triolet... Wow... they seem fun... And you have very well met my standards of a great poem... Which isn't the "easiest" thing to do... A very well written poem... Love the imagery! -
this is very good.....triolet?.....seen them and always like them.....being I love short and powerful images....although..I dont think my vocabulary would stand up to this kind of beautiful writing....I would really like to learn this form....ha ha....mally likes to dream....
....Davies...this is wonderful.....Vegas....ummmmm Imma AC nut.....well heres a clappie.....I hate using them up....I end up spending my points giving clappies...lol.....Im so cheap...not really....wonderful picture you paint...
Malabu -
John it too love this form of poetry,It is one of those pieces that make the reader wish there were more to read, as it is so beautiful.Though to do so would also detract from the power that the few words posted impart to the reader.
Wonderful poem and image too
Good luck in the contest.
PS yes John the titles OK -
Oooh Oooh I love a Triolet. This is as beautiful as a California Summer Sky - well at least the one you have painted as I have never seen the real thing. Wonderful coloful and vibrant entry for this contest. Best of luck. ~Pam
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