To be touched by the hands
of a scholar. Soft
as words,
pushed like a pen. Manipulated
by his thoughts, not force
or passion, free of
callouses and a man's scent.
_______
Mark my skin
with the residue of
ink, left there by a hard
day's work. Leave a trace
of your intellect to
make me a piece of
literature, immortal,
my truth locked in your mind.
_______
To be the lover of
a scholar. Long hair in
my face, and eye's filled
with letters on a
page.
Author notes
Written February 8th, 2006
A contest entry
- dear. we must eat the liver. sweet as june. we must. dear. by jaunty pill.
300 points, ended June 20, 2006, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
I’ll start this off with a few critical things I noticed
And then move on from there. Could you have done
Away with all capitalization in this poem? Yes. I
Think so. I know that they are only at the start of each
Image or line , But really , The words themselves
Do not need more attention drawn to them. They
Create their own outline and I think alone , It could
Benefit entirely.
I also noticed that “ callouses “ in the first stanza
is spelled wrong. I believe it should be “ calluses “ ?
Unless you have found another spelling for it , Etc.
What I will also say about this poem is I think you
could have cut out the coma’s as well. I’m not saying
they do not work , As they do , But I think the attention
Should stay more on the impact of the imagery and
the words you used. The periods though didn’t seem
To bother the poem too much.
Now , About the poem itself:
The first stanza reminds me of one of those english
Proverbs or quotes you read from a famous authors
Novel. Something about the words you chose…It is
All very quaint and free. Like you had been watching
An artist do their thing in the background while you
Spied on them. Nice solid and thoughtful beginning .
Something I have come to notice about your writing
From when I first started reading you.
And the you have the second stanza , Which is oddly
Reflective. Almost seems empathetic. Like you might
Have been in fear of being forgotten or not written
About properly. Maybe , As if , The mistake would
Effect you worse than the idea of being forgotten.
This got me thinking about art and the times we live
In on a general level. I am reminded that not all parts
Of life can be easily put in guidelines. Sometimes
Things need to slip away…Or else there is the fear
Of it all growing stale over and over again. As you
Can tell , It was effective. It got me thinking about
Your poem and that is indeed what any artist or
Writer could hope for.
Then comes the third stanza , Thought short , It
Contains so much depth. You reverse roles almost
It seems. Like there is a certain strength in being
Around someone who might not always be able
To take the pain away…As though the words
Were written by candle light as you watched the
Letters form on paper. It is so delicate and refined.
It is hard , I think , To write something as precise
As you have. It is easy to ramble on and on , But
It takes a true artist to be able to communicate
Simple and clearly. I admire the amount of talent
And adult quality this poem unveils.
You have always had a way of making me feel
Like I am looking from the eyes of someone
Much older…Sometimes , Even younger. You
Have a mysterious quality to your work and that
Reels me in like a moth to a flame. If you ever
Decide to publish , Please let me know. I would
Be the first one to buy a copy.
Great work.
All the best and thanks so much for entering
My contest ,
James
-
Thanks fr your comment on "my escape," I'm glad you liked it, and I'm glad you can relate. This poem is very good. I think its incredibly powerful and metaphorical. Simply amazing, seriously.
-
i read this on your blog and i was so sure you had to have gotten it from some published and posh anthology, mainly because it is BLOODY AMAZING. so gorgeously so that i almost died. in a good way. really, roxanne, this is amazing.
-
"To be touched by the hands
of a scholar. Soft
as words,
pushed like a pen."
I think that has to be one of the most brilliant things I have ever read in my entire life. "pushed like a pen"----GENIUS! GENUIUS ALERT.
Gorgeous, Roxanne.
- Ruth
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