Behind a golden mask of dreams
Unwind within a timeless sea.
Find the key to a world supreme
Entwined in perfect harmony.
Believe in faith,embrace it tight
Leave this sleep,wake and rise.
Breathe and suckle a new born light
Reave the wonders before one's eyes.
Author notes
Written February 8th, 2006
First word of each line must rhyme, then the last word 1-3 and 2-4 lines ...LENTO FORM
In a list
A contest entry
- Delightful Short Forms. (prewrites allowed) by delightfulmess.
450 points, ended September 3, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Parodies or Multisyllabic Rhyming (Prewrites Allowed) by aGent Lemon.
360 points, ended February 26, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Short Ain't All Bad; Right? by 2lullabyhaven.
475 points, ended April 28, 2008, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Just came around to read this!
Love and light,
lencio
Lencio
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yes, yes! I was doing a google search and found this is something that said "List" with Lento being highlighted!
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Awe....thank you, .you taught me to write Lento and gave me my first gold for this piece, don't you remember ?
Shaz xx
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Congrats on your wins, and on a very nice poem
lol thanks for entering
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Very Impressive
I really like how closely worded these rhymes were placed. This must have been very tricky to structure so this deserves 3 clappy faces.
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wow...
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Oh my I really like this form
Flows along nicely.
Great job on this and thank you so much for entering
delila
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Form is perfect. Image is good and interesting, too.
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Oh I love this love the rhyme love the flow and the iamgery is grand Wow I love it this is going to be a hard one to judge with entries likr this one ... thanks for entering...
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a good form this, i have done two myself, one is posted at the moment the other is still in file. nice use of the rhyme here. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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Hello. This poem to me talks about the Egyptian afterlife, and it captures the idea of it well. Lots of imagery in a little poem...things like
"Find the key to a world supreme,
Entwined in perfect harmony."
The Egyptian afterlife was all about harmony and being at peace with oneself, and I think that's what this poem is about. And I like it.
Thanks for entering my contest.
-Meg
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I like it. Short but yet to the point. You have a way of taking very few words and making it explain more than too many words do. Great write!
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Oh wow, what a poem you ave written gran! This is simply damn cool! I loove the imagery assosiciated with the gold face mask tomb of Tutukamun (is that him?) and i really like how you describe the beauty of the sunbstance with the ancient times of the Egyptians. I really have tried to comment on this before but for some reason my computer refused to allow me to comment on this which was an utter bummer!
Anyway, i am really in love with this poem. You got me going gran!
love
michael
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awesome
Beautifully written!.....This is excellent..Good luck in the contest!...Lynda
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Brilliant
Brilliant.. clever shaz.. I really really love the compactness that just works.. well done xxxx
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i love egyptology i have been studing it since i was 8 years old. this poem is perfectly descriptive and i like it very much. its subject matter is interisting and thought provoking and i think this one has an excelent chance in this contest. good luck in it
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This poem out and out tells you the moral,but it seems like there is something much,much deeper than that...
The message this poem conveys is something everyone needs to read,and know. I loved it!Please keep writing! -
Verry nice... It was a great write although short it says alot in few words.
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This was really short, but very very expressive no less. I loved it, short and sweet. I don't know what else to say, just great write and thanks for sharing!
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Believe in faith,embrace it tight,
Leave this sleep,wake and rise.
Breathe and suckle a new born light,
Reave the wonders before ones eyes
this is so very awesome. you got me with that stanza. wonderfully well written and just perfect. viyanna r langager -
Whoaaaaaa, this one just blew me away mum!
So perfect that I don't even know what to say.
This is a masterpiece of tranquility, and it has to win the GOLD since it is solid gold anyway.
I'm bookmarking this one mum.
Genius.
You are damn good at these Lentos.
Love you,
~Sherry~
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Wow this poem is extremely powerful. I love the sense of imagery you feel as you read it. Almost as if the words unock a secret. I loved it. Very moving write. Keep up the good work.
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i really like it it is a great poem i thought for the picture u used you did really well well done great write j
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Great poem!
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Exactly what I am looking for, Nevertheless you have done well in all your rounds. A very beautiful write with a lot of hope. Very soothing to the mind. Find the key to a world supreme,
Entwined in perfect harmony. Very beautiful lines, but never mind, the whole write is simply classic. Great piece! Thanks for entering and all the ebst in the contest.
Love and light,
Lencio -
this poem is wonderful and it has a good flow.
the writing is impressive . excellent keep up the good work
thanks for the read............
Believe in faith,embrace it tight,
Leave this sleep,wake and rise.
Breathe and suckle a new born light,
Reave the wonders before ones eyes.
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I was definitly expecting something... well, not like this! lol. It's great though. I love it. You are very talented and open minded! Wonderful job!
Amanda -
love it
with so few words you reveal such wonder, feeding the imagination a grand feast indeed. your choice of gold lettering on a black background only adds to the richness. the image of the boy-king gives ont the thought that all is obtainable by all. Love it.
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