The Day The Street Stood Still
A pleasant Sunday afternoon, the street was quiet and calm.
Sunday lunch had come and gone and I rested in summer's balm
Till on the road a corroboree noise of several local kids
Disturbed my peace with bat and ball and rusty trash can lids.
I raced outside to gawk about and asked "What's going on?"
A little boy of six or so, shorts torn and buttons gone
Replied to me "The ten of us are setting out the field
To send our red ball spinning down and our cricket bat to wield."
I heaved a sigh and looked around and then walked through the door
Because I knew what was to come, I'd been through this before.
Around the street we spread ourselves, conscripted to the cause.
I fished my hat out of my shorts, smeared sunscreen with my paws.
The boy next door was first to bat, his brother first to bowl.
He sent the red ball spinning down and a horror filled my soul
As overhead I watched the sweet return come back to land.
I closed my eyes, leaped off the ground and caught it in my hand.
The other players clapped me and then handed me the bat.
I walked towards the rubbish bin, while chasing next door's cat.
I took my mark before the stump and settled in to face
A little demon bowler who was known for his pace.
The lad went back a little way, to make his run up long.
The instant that I hit the ball, I knew I'd hit it wrong.
It went flying through the roses, and with one almighty crash
Broke both the plate glass windows of the lounge with a horrd smash.
Dad came thundering through the hallway, I stood rooted to the ground,
For my legs had turned to water at the awe inspiring sound
Of cricket ball and window meeting, fatally for one.
I slowly raised my eyes and saw exactly what I'd done.
I swallowed hard and dropped the bat, not meeting Daddy's eye.
The other kids surrounding me all muttered a good-bye.
We thought, small blame to them and me, that I was surely dead
For a veil of steam and clouds all seemed to hang over Daddy's head.
While Dad just stood and simmered, I real quickly said my prayers.
But all he did was stand there, and at the glass he stared.
So rounding on my heels I turned and headed for the hills.
That was my final cricket match - the day the street stood still.
Author notes
Written February 8th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Ha Ha Very Funny by Vampstress.
300 points, ended October 23, 2006, 48 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes by karmacae.
700 points, ended February 14, 2008, 67 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Story Poems by Zixaphir.
700 points, ended March 4, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - make me smile by james119.
525 points, ended February 16, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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this is just the cutest little story, reminds me of my child hood days, This is something I think my little boy will adore. I plan to read it to him when he gets home...Wonderful job and congrats on the gold, well earned.......Crystalgodess
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Yikes , been there
with us it was an apple fight
thanks for entering -
Peachy
Very nice, a good subject handled by someone who at least knows what they are doing. I'm impressed. -
Nicely done, I enjoyed the read and at first thought that we were doing baseball but realized the different sports anology. baseball and cricket are very close in some ways. I find both equal in interest and complication. lol.
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I really really enjoyed this
I like the story and the rhyming and imagery it gave. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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This is a wonderful poem. You tell a really nice story in this piece by using some great imagery. In parts the flow is a little off - it seems too forced by the rhyme. On the whole it reads well though and is an enjoyable poem to read.
Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck.
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very nice
This is a good piece of work. It's good because you successfully took me to the scene you've depicted. It was a great piece of writing. The rhyme and the flow showed signs of effort and sometimes that's bad but in this case it shows that you care what this poem said. You put hard work into making this a beautiful story of small town society in which I beleive a lot of people can relate. This is a great memory and I love how you take the reader with you every step of the way. Great work. I like this piece a lot. Thanks for entering my contest. Godd luck -
wow
man..i have never seen such talents in a contest before..poems after poems..i encounter this strange format of poetry..poetry like stories..let u know..i suck at rhyming..i'm terrible..and to me..anyone who can write a poem..make a story out of it..and still make it rhyme...lol..ur a genius..amazing work..u have my vote -
form wise, you did great, im not sure if the length kept my interest as much as it could have, which means i dont know if i took anything much from this (im helping nick judge the finalists) and so i agree with nick, you are still in this, so that means you did something right.
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I really liked the form of this poem, the rhythm and meter were absolutely perfect. The rhyme was amazing. I'm just not sure about the content, maybe its just not I'm looking for, however I am very impressed by your mastery of form. Great job, we'll have to see!
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Wonderful poem. Took me back, been there, done that. Really made me smile. Thanks very much.
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Congratulations for winning bronze in this contest. Very well written poem - great rhythm and rhyme throughout.
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Brilliant!
You have won a trophy in my first ever contest with this and it was really good to read this again!This was brilliantly well done and you must have put in extreme thought for this one.The rhyming was was very good and did not have a single flaw.Altogether this was a very interesting and funny read.Thanks for your entry and best of luck in the future
Score:9.0 -
Very good poem, great structure, flow and such. Good luck in the contest.
-TheJoker -
I can just picture the game, been there and all. All so true the ball and the window, fatally smashed.
Very nice work.
Scribbles -
the flow and rhythm in this was flawless.a very enjoyable read which kept me captivated all the way through. Yourimageryreall painted a picture for the mind.welldone
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Very nicely written
Excellent!very well written it seemed like a story as well as a poem that makes the poem so much fun to read.It was long but it was fun to read.I liked it a lot.The rhyming was done well too.Thank you for your entry and best of luck in my contest. -
Deserved to win!
Yes, this was a grand story/poem with a "GREAT" title and you wrapped it up all so well with your last line! Excellent and you deserved to win the gold! I'll be looking for more of your works! joy
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Hey ....well done....congratulations....the first of many I'm sure....
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I ain't never bowled nor hit a red ball (except playin' snooker pool) but I sure know about neighborhood baseball and broken windows. Fortunately for me there was a Boys' Club up the hill by the time I was old enough to hit a ball that far... and in my first year playing center field, our third baseman was a little pipsqueak kid who later became a National League All Star for the Dodgers and Padres.
SUPER story that took me back a few years. Thanks! deLightingly, Daniel
... and I see why you got that first GOLD! Make sure DAD knows about it! -
GOOD JOB!!!!! :F
This is truly an ingenious read, perfect, for the children. Great job, AngelicMistress
Good luck in the contest -
I was going to say you should know better at your age.....LOL....but it was reminiscing....so I'll let you off...but at least you hit the ball....LOL....you may get a place in the Aussie team!!!!!....just kidding master....ya know I am.....an excellent yarn...I could 'feel' the smirk on your face as you wrote it....
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i loved this...it was so cute and reminicant, great story telling, good imagery, adorable tone, something most can relate to...i never broke a window, but i smashed my brother in the face with a golf club one time...yeah...dad wasn't too keen on that one...your rhymes were very good none so forced it was noticeable (i'm picky so i look for things like that) your flow was good except for the 4th line of the 5th stanza...i think you're missing a syllable (like i said, i'm picky) but it threw me a bit. other wise great write...i purely enjoyed it
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Love it!
I love this! A lighthearted touch with a warmhearted feel. Lovely, just lovely! Do you have anymore to read like this? I'd certainly like to read them if you do!! -
very good
Not a bad write. I especially like what remains unsaid in the last verse.
Charley Noble -
Told a story. Seemed to have very good meter and rhyme. I like this one a lot. It wasn't what I was expecting from you, hehe. You are at the top, but there are going to be a lot of entries, so don't get your hopes to high. I have read only five entries so far and I am expecting all 42.
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An excellent write. Beautiful imagery, flow and rhyme. Expressive. You painted a beautiful word picture. I could vividly see the images as you story unfolded. Well crafted and a most enjoyable read.
ShelleyA -
Smashing!
Nostalgic!Memories of childhood as my brothers threw and tossed balls and hit the windows broge the glass!Really well told with all the fun,laughter and grime of little boys.A refreshing read with a nice flow and a well told story that every child and parent is familiar with.Great fun.Elizabeth. -
thank you karabi - this was one poem I had a lot of fun writing. It was based on a true occurrence, which really was the last time I ever played backyard cricket. Glad you enjoyed reading it.
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A very welcome change! Everybody writes love poems - that rotten thing - and nothing else. Here is something I enjoyed enormously. Must thank the author.
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