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Author notes
www.bulfinch.org/fables/bull26.html
www.loggia.com/myth/endymion.html
www.usefultrivia.com/mythology/endymion.html
Option 3
Written February 7th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Contest: Greek Mythology by thewriterwithin.
500 points, ended February 26, 2006, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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lol yeah, hosting all these contests is difficult. I'm judging a contest a day, but this is the second contest that I judged today. Almost done judging though! Thanks for your encouraging words!
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Thank you for your kind words. Seeing just the names of the poets who have entered I have no doubt your job will be difficult but also rewarding. You should definitely be proud to have sponsored a contest which drew the efforts of so many of AP's best.
I am amazed to see you running so many contests simultaneously. Best of luck to you and thank you for the opportunities you've created here for so many.
Jane -
oneluckygirl ---
Thank you so much for entering my contest.
Wow! I love this. It's so beautiful, so classic. So astounding. I'm in awe. I loved it. I think this is definately in the competition, making my judging harder 
Thanks a lot! lol
Thank you for entering.
Good Luck in the contest,
Take Care,
x PatientGrace x
Jasmine
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This is a wonderful poem, just my cup of tea. the imagery the flow are great, it lacks nothing. thankyou for sharing Val.
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Excellent
I agree with so many of the other comments. Your poem has a true "classic" quality and reminds of the old masters. I felt like I was reading a very old poem written when poets were held in such high regard. The word choice and style both truly enhance your verse. It was a true joy to read. -
What a wonderful write this is. Your meter is perfect and this reads ( no pun intended) like a dream Beautiful, beautiful write. Well thought out and certainly a great display of your poetic talent
Ruth -
sweet
I might have come across this in a work of the late nineteenth/early twentieth century, or during the initial phases of the Rennaisance (so-called) or perhaps heard it recited in a shadowed glen 2000 years ago. Nice work! -
I hate long poetry and I didn't feel this was too long. So that is my opinion. I really like this. I think it is so beautiful and makes use of beautiful words and rhyme, as well as flow. Great job. Wish i could write like this!
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Beautiful
This was a beautifully written poem!! I enjoyed it a lot and it had a nice, smooth flow to it. I looved the rhythm within it. I love these lines "His muse ignites her restless torch
held high above on silvered horse." That was powerful imagery. Great job! I love the topic and imagery used within this piece. I hope to read more of your work soon.
Lady Serenity
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In reply to Zonia
Anna, thank you for your generous comments. I am quite proud of this final result as this is quite a departure from my usual work.
You are also correct that Ron writes a marvelous critique. As a matter of fact he did me a wonderful favor in taking what I had written and actually explaining the interweavings of the myth and my work --- something I myself am much to lazy to do.
I am so glad to see you here this morning as I was most disappointed when I saw your two works removed from the reading list in Winklings. I hope I wasn't the cause of that.
hugs
Jane -
This is a beautiful poem Jane. Your word choice is great. And all the alliterations are splendid. I cannot give such a wonderful critique as Ron, but I agree with him that you did an outstanding job with this poem. My compliments. Anna.
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Masterpiece is an understatement
Jane,
I sit here stunned and in total and complete awe! One doesn't need to know the mythology, as it seems you've created your own. You have taken a piece of our myths and made it your own. There is a lightness in this read that makes one feel as if they are being taken on a current of two planes. Ones feels as if they are frollicking on the current of a gentle brook to be suddenly lifted into currents of warm air. Giving the feeling one gets when a soft warm breeze hits moist skin.
Jane, I affectionately call moments like this a "Mozart Moment" for one can not improve on the write in any way. It came from the pen in sheer perfection. Much like the way Mozart wrote his music. It was perfect before the pen touched the paper. But here, you've also captured the eloquence and style that Shakespeare himself would richly applaud and I dare say be a tad jealous of. To combine those two moments. That, is sheer genius and talent. And a gift like none other! I think at this moment the Bard smiles down on you and Mozart is lifted by the beauty of the song!
~Michelle~
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In reply to Lyndon
Ron, your reading and commenting on my work is perhaps the grandest reward one could want. Not only do you note the techniques which make all your comments so instructive, but you leave me actually believing I knew what I was doing when I wrote this piece.
You comment in ways that bring a piece to life for the writer and the reader. You are a true gift!!
Thank you,
Jane -
Superb
Such classic beauty you have here my friend. I must admit my knowledge of Greek mythology is somewhat lacking but your poem brings to the reader an exquiste love story. Excellent work my sunshine.
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Poetically beautiful
It is imaginative of you to use your own metaphor - Endymion's Wine - for Selene's seduction of the handsome shepherd boy, Endymion. You use classical verse of quatrains of rhymed couplets (aa b
beautifully. To think Selene (Luna) sought him out by a winding grape vine is a wise extension of your fine metaphor. Your foot-picture is an augmentation to the poem. For those who do not know, Selene wore a silvered crescent (as pictured) and was drawn from bathing in the sea across the sky in a silver chariot. Your "silvered horse" is a good transferred epithet. This verse is excellent poetry carrying still, the mythology of the ancient Greeks. Your lines are redolent of the myth including phrases such as "from age subdued" (Zeus granted Endymion eternal sleep!); "his growing flock" (in spite of deep sleep, he sired 50 offspring to Selene!); "light rains upon his canvassed bed" (Selene visited the immortal sleeping Endymion each night); "she mourns her brother's waking yawn" (her brother was the sun god; she the moon goddess. Dawn (Eos) came when Helios (sun) began to yawn himself awake.)
Alliteration, exquisite rhyme and assonance gave this poem its musicality and lyrical value. Consider " sensing scents of seasoned earth" as just one example ofd many. The sibilants provide a soft alliteration of the night. The word "seasoned" takes on two meanings: the planet with seasons and the earth ripe for Selene's mortasl love affair with Endymion. Then, the line has vowel music through assonance and vowel variation. How memorable is this poetic line! But others are equally as impressive. This has been a marvellous piece of poetry to adventure in for me. Ron.
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WOnderful. I agree with D P, I was thinking of a classically written poem when reading this, very masterful. Brava!
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He haunts her hunt, eternally
didn't misspell anything?
This is actually brilliant, just a stunning, lilting piece that could have jujst as easily have been penned by an old bard. It really is such a lovely thing to read. I am bookmarking this
xx -
WOW! This has to be the most insanely sensationally great background for a poem on ap hehe
wowser, very enthralled i barely saw the words first *reads*...words are awesome too. You have this power over them. This kind of definite way of making them come together in a superglue way. lozi xxxX
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This is very good (seriouly) Very deep and complex, had alot depth and meaninf and really reached and grabbed the reader. I love the rhythm and the over all flow of this poem as well. Why I am the first one commenting on this poem, this page should filled with applauds and comments. I truly love the melcolony and dark feel of this poem, you conveyed those emotions very well with the flow and vocabulary you chosen. Some might feel this poem is too long but for the subject matter and feeling of it, I think the lenght was very subtable for this piece awsome work!
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Such a great poem. I really enjoy the theme.
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Dear Jane,
I say again: this could be the best you have written since "Genius". The way you have encapsulated the essence of this myth of Diana and Endymion and your poetic allusion to its metaphorical substance is imaginatively and skilfully contrived.
I wondered when you were going to post this but the honing and polishing now evident has been worth the pause and reflect.
I raise a glass of wine to the Moon of my Delight with applause, love and hugs, XXX Hugh. -
excellent work
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Classically classical
A thing of beauty is a joy for ever.
You make a good Selene.
Beatiful in a style unusual for you - perfect for the poem'
Best,
p -
Nicely written, good rhythm and rhyme, with a liovely picture to accompany this write. Know not of Endymion but enjoyed reading this easy to read poem.
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Thumbs up.
Wow. That was beautiful. Takes a few readings to understand, I like it very much. -
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I see one picture and many soft verses.
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In reply to cynic
Coming from a self-identified cynic, I take that as quite a compliment. Thank you.
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Loved it great flow and tremendous word choice and scheme.....excellent thank you.......should be in a book of fabled love poems....
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