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The Storm

Rain streams down my window
Like tears down a child's face
A child who was abandoned
Whose life is but a disgrace

The thunder rages as it will
As will many when is revealed
The names of two who switched around
In hope that one who's lost is found

The lightning flashes off and on
Like that of the girl's smile
As quickly as it comes, it goes
For all on Earth in vile.

Author notes

Most everyone who's read this poem liked it (save for those who saw it with it's terrible background), but somehow, I don't think anyone will ever get what this poem is truly about.

Written February 5th, 2006
by Erin

OPTION 7 (for 7 options contest)

OPTION 3 (for everythin angst)

This poem will feature in the local coffee house!!

A contest entry

What did you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • Aurora Ceres
    May 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hm, I didn't get it. So, I guess that makes this an intriguing write. I am not the one who needs to anyway.....best of luck!!!!


  • McFairy
    April 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    If the one who's lost is not you, perhaps the one lost should not be found, sometimes it's much better that way. Thanks for entering my contest, this is very capturing.

    ***Strangeangel***


  • BarbedWireButterfly
    March 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i'm so sorry about the mix up. thank you for re entering and putting the right option.

  • McFairy
    March 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    option 4???


  • BarbedWireButterfly
    February 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very interesting. you could have also chosen option 3 but I can see how option 4 applies here. well done for mixing the options and not knowing it. lol, it's very well structured and filled with emotion. thanku for entering and good luck


  • Corinthians13-4
    July 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry I never replied to that message, I've made a habit of kinda skimming messages and didn't realize I was supposed to respond!


  • Greggs Girl
    June 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    is like suppose to be life? and i agree with the rest you need to change something here. it is really hard to read this piece.
    Toodles
    Megan


  • Tainted Innocence
    June 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh and one more thing. If you're interested to know how many points you've received, just send me a message and I'll be more than happy to give them to you :-)


  • Tainted Innocence
    June 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Alright, well let me just tell you that I hate the background. It's really difficult to read your poem. I shouldn't have to highlight what you've written to read it. Anyway, the poem was interesting. I'm unsure about some of the lines. Especially this one:

    "Who's like is a disgrace"

    Who's like? What does that mean? I think this piece could use some work. Although it's a good start.


  • Marianne
    February 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    that's a really bad background. I can't even read the poem. And it's kinda mesmerising...
    Flash..
    Flash...
    Flash
    (Now look what you've done!!!)

    Love
    Marianne

  • GypsyArdor
    February 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love storms. :-) The poem is nice, but the background (really cool) is too distracting for reading it very well.


  • bookaddict -SYV-
    February 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I like this, though their are a few grammar/spelling mistakes. Also, i like the background, but with the lightness of the font the poem's hard to read.

1 - 13 of 13