Like a cascade of needles upon my heart
An endless journey, this, being so far apart
It hurts
As if a million pieces of glass just shattered
All the times that love almost mattered
Like waking up to see that sun never rose
Instead of rhythmic flow my emotions flow out in prose
All slanted
As if I want myself to feel nothing but pain
For to say I don't want you is only insane
Like a waterfall of broken dreams crashing upon me
Those final goodbyes bind me, no will to be free
I die
As if needing you this badly would again unite us
Glorifying this endless fight and useless fuss
Like a dead flower just withering away
I dare not cross into another day
Without you
As if my silent whispers could only be heard
I only wish to share with you one word
Author notes
Written February 4th, 2006
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Great
Hey i read your post in the feedback group and i am critiquing like crazy to try and earn enough points to start a contest for my stepdad who is going to jail for atleast 2 years in a couple of days so i will critique as many of your poems as i can in the next half an hour to do us both a favour, now i dont know if u like people to pick on spelling and grammar, either way i didnt see anything wrong in this poem so it doesn't matter, um where was i ,oh yea i really like the form with the abnormal rhyming scheme, i do that alot, especially lately like in "SISTER" anyway yea you have made the rhyme flow really nicely and it doesn't seem at all forced, and it is nice to read, you dont have to strain to get the rhythm right in your head so you can really enjoy the concept of the poem anyway i will be moving on to the next poem now, congradulations on a great piece of work. -
good
Why do you not want people to read it?
i liked it! it was good.
tragediey-stricken
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