Once upon a cold moon
The statues in the castle garden danced
I was there pacing a quiet green path
On some shadow-grey mission of my own
Hiding from the castle’s fell window-gaze
Once upon a cold moon
As I flitted shamefully in the dark
I saw them in the corner of my eye
Each one descending from a marble plinth
Stalking like a rumour through the rose-garth
Once upon a cold moon
Shepherdess hand-in-hand with stony nymph
Rustic hunter partnering a goddess
To some music from far beyond my ears
They performed a slow and weird minuet
Once upon a cold moon
The formal garden became a queen’s hall
Presided over by great Diana
The assembled statuary capered
Long into the moon-filled glittering night
Once upon a cold moon
I was gripped by the glamour of it all
Stepped forward into the strange company
Took a naked dryad by her cold hand
And began to make my dancing with them
Once upon a cold moon
The wind whipped a leaf-swirl in the rose-garth
They were motionless as if by magic
The same spell that set them dancing stopped them
And with malevolence they met my eyes
Once upon a cold moon
I ran and roused the castle with my shouts
Sleeping servants woke and lamps sprang like flowers
My Lady came and the house filled with noise
All followed me to the moon-filled garden
Once upon a cold moon
The ordered splendour of the formal place
Lay unbroken by the sullen statues
Each in its place and familiar pose
As though my vision there had never been
Once upon a cold moon
My Lady ordered me a punishment
But on the occasion of each cold moon
I wander hopefully in the garden
And people tell me that I have gone mad
[c] 2005
spaces.msn.com/Mairibheag/
Author notes
Written February 4th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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You are too kind, Nevada. I am keeping an eye on your work too, by the way.
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excellent poem
Mairi bheag, I love the incantatory repetition in this poem, that gives it a whole and complete quality. You poems have a mythic formality about them which I much admire. You are a marvelous writer indeed.
Nevada -
Sis, you could be right! Thank you.
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Once upon a cold moon, I have gone mad too. This is splendidly written, each line presenting such a clear vision... and I choose to think she is not mad, but that the others simply cannot see.
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This was a well written poem/story. To have gone mad but to see such beauty seems like everyone else is mad and the subject here has life in the proper perspective! Thanks, The Shaker
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Thank you, friend Eusebius. Drop by any time!
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Excellent!
this is yet another brilliantly written and concieved poem! I loved it! Excellent! -
Thank you so much, Josephine.
Marie -
Your writes are wonderfully penned, I very much enjoyed this One, as I do all Your Others Josephine.
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Mad is another way of handling reality - whatever that is. Who is to say statues do not dance? Galatea did! Thank you Iohagh.
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Mad is a matter of perspective as I tore up my lover's shirt, i felt good to be mad like a liberation saying you reject me so I destroy this and later as it is tatters, I cry for the memories of what was. Madness, yes, but across town my lover was tearing up my jammies that I wouldn't pick up and so it goes the insane influenza. Madness no, the moon is in bloom. Shake your wings pixie and fly to where the air is clean.
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Thank you Lunaria - your moon is no cold one.
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Thank you, Melodies, I shall keep it. I feel it works and is what folk would have said.
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WOW! now I think I must have gone mad with you. I really enjoy this imaginative poem.
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Ah, 'tis Melodies again and I have a comment on your last line. I live with someone who is mad. Yes. True. Insane. Now, believe me when I say that saying "People tell me that I have gone mad."
is not infantile in the sense that if you have ever really lived every day viewing insanity (deep insanity,) you realize how soul wrenching it is. Keep your last line, do. -
Infantile? Jings! Hmmmm. I did intend the last line to be somewhat more stark than the rest of the poem and, if spoken aloud, to be delivered in a flatter tone.
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I too truly enjoyed this. Within the first two lines, you created an atmosphere instantaneously of stillness and being enveloped in the cold .. and then the poem just flowed swiftly all the way through without a falter - I really enjoyed reading it.
The only thing I found not to work was the very end:
Once upon a cold moon
My Lady ordered me a punishment
But on the occasion of each cold moon
I wander hopefully in the garden
[And people tell me that I have gone mad]
Jsut the very last line seemed infantile in comparasion to the rest of the poem, although that could just be a personal opinion
Thanks for posting this to share with us!
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Many thanks, Melodies. I am amazed by the swiftness of your comment - I only put the poem there a couple of minutes ago. This poem is actually a departure from my normal style and content, but knowing that I have an appreciative reader may spur me to write more.
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Oh, I do love this poem so much! If you have gone mad, I have gone mad with joy from reading this. Seriously. I do not say this lightly. This is my kind of thing. Thank you!
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