Under the covering quilt of night
Far from intruding rays of light
Far from the gaze of prying eyes
We will exchange our private sighs
When in the darkness bodies merge
When in the midnight passions surge
Secrets of need we'll both confide
When worlds of love and lust collide
Lovers 'neath dancing stars entranced
Delicate sense of touch enhanced
Fingertips graze on trembling flesh
Bodies and souls in silence mesh
And as the fire begins to burn
Tongues of the flame for which they yearn
Become entwined and join as one
Shining within as nocturnal sun
Author notes
Option 2
A contest entry
- Romance of the Heart by Liquid memories.
525 points, ended November 26, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gentle Love by Celticjedi.
600 points, ended December 1, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Will Give A Lot of Feedback!! by PonyPride.
400 points, ended February 3, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - best prewrites by dory.
500 points, ended July 30, 2008, 89 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - RHYME AND RHYTHM-PW allowed by Heva Feva.
550 points, ended July 3, 107 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need To Read by poets whisper.
900 points, ended September 14, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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when worlds of love and lust collide ... wow what an intense explosion. Your ryhme is always exceptional and you never write anything that I don't like. Thank you for entering the contest.
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"Lovers 'neath dancing stars entranced
Delicate sense of touch enhanced
Fingertips graze on trembling flesh
Bodies and souls in silence mesh"
These are my favourite lines! Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
-heva ♫
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95%
Very nicely written. I really enjoyed the ryhme in this, because it was very consistant and deep instead of being like Dr. Sues. You really showed me this scene and brought emotion and passion into this. The only part that did not quite flow was probably: Lovers 'neath dancing stars entranced
Delicate sense of touch enhanced
Idk, maybe you could have used something like:
Lovers 'neat the observent stars entranced,
Through their touches their body's danced..
I'm not sure if that works but what you have just throws the beauty of your poem for a second. Thank you for the brilliance you have provided. -
Beautiful. Which is a serious understatement.
Great job with this, it feels like this love is forbidden. That is always wonderful. Thank you for entering, keep writing.
Cj
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well done. thank you for entering this contest.
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very beautiful...great rhyming. thank you for entering and good luck!
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very very good
I really like this piece. Keep up the good work. I love images of I got in my head. -
Excellent write!
Tender passion, lovingly expressed. Well done! -
Great
I love this poem, it was very sensual and romantic, without being slutty. The poem flowed beautifully, and I can semi-relate, it is a rather easy to imagine feeling using your wording. Don't ever stop writing, for you are truly talented. -
Sensual without being sleezy! This was lovely. Your imagery was beautiful, I could sense the fire crackling and the passion between these two souls in their moments of aloneness. Crisp, clear and beautifully sensitive.
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Excellent.
I have fallen into a bit of jealousy for your great use of pen and paper. I someday hope to have the talent that you do have.
The ending grabbed me, and it won't be letting go anytime soon.
Please do not stop writing.
- Lily -
great
this is a great bit i love the ending especially its so inspiring i honestly loved this piece j (hunger muncher) -
Lovers 'neath dancing stars entranced
Delicate sense of touch enhanced
Fingertips graze on trembling flesh
Bodies and souls in silence mesh
And as the fire begins to burn
Tongues of the flame for which they yearn
Become entwined and join as one
Shining within as nocturnal sun
great word usage.........this poem flowed beautifully -
Outstanding
Man, this is a BEAUTIFULLY written poem. Outstanding. --Ellis -
this is a beautiful poem indead. very romantic. its pretty. good poem thogh. its very good. keep up the good work! i like it a lot!
Ditzi M3 -
Very sensual, makes me think of an affair, of the mind, and heart.
Beautifully penned.
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AWSOME
dude, this is like the kewlest! Omg, this is AWSOME! Keep it up, i cant wait to read more by you! -
oooOOooooLaLa!
This is lovely Raker!!! It is so good to see you posting again! I have missed your poetry and I have missed you as well! This is beautiful. (Did I get to this one quick enough? 
) Bravo my friend.
~Lyrical
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