I was born on Friday, Oct. 13, 2005, at 4:25pm,
brought into existence
from the deepest recesses of my loving mother-
a model DXDL50AD Automatic Paste-Filling and Packaging machine...
isn’t she sexy!
I almost didn’t make it into this world-
there were only five minutes remaining
until the workers began their weekend rituals...
I had high hopes, along with all the other packets in the plant
who were fresh off the assembly line.
We talked about where we would end up...
“I’m going to end up on the Queen of England’s silver serving tray!”
“I’m going into outer space with the astronauts!”~
“I’m going to Hollywood!”
One packet in particular caught my eye...
a tender little packet, demur, quiet, unassuming...
my little ketchup heart raced with the thoughts I was having of her...
Ooooooo...
to have our ketchups drip and mingle on a bed of warm french fries...
Everyone was enjoying the evening, and then that's when I saw it-
the Bin of Recalls- Mashed, mangled, leaking,
all the returned packets terribly disfigured...
spoiled, oh, the oder...
I had the most horrendous nightmare that night...
Rumors circulated that a new quality-assurance staff
would oversee our production, which put my mind at ease...
QA staff
I was hoping we’d be shipped out soon,
for I knew, from the company's packet orientation seminar,
that our shelf life was limited...
I also learned to don a gas mask and perform CPR at the company seminar...
shelf-lives (clearer image: web.mit.edu/dr yfoo/www/Info/ condiments.htm l
The day ultimately came for us to venture out into the world.
I was sealed tightly with 999 of my fellow packets,
all shiny new and ready to add pizzazz to any culinary delight.
1000 packets of unbridled energy, buzzing with excitement,
and being shipped overnight to our final destination...
We were bursting with bright smiles and upbeat hearts.
I had the extremely good fortune
to be packed tightly against the packet of my dreams!
Such a wonderful trip it was going to be...
We all shared fantasies of having loving owners
who could not part with us,
or us with them...
We arrived at our destination.
We were all dumped into a bin behind the counter.
I could hear the irate customers complaining
about having to ask for enough ketchup packs.
The young service person tiredly dumped several of us onto a tray...
I looked back at the packet that had held my heart captive
and I thought I would never see her again...
and then the worse thing imaginable happened...
I was not going to be used!
There I sat, in horror.
To think that I was born, raised and manufactured with such high hopes,
living with every fiber in me designed to serve and tantalize,
only to die the most ignoble death
that a condiment package could ever imagine-
that of not even being opened and consumed,
thrown away unopened, tossed into the landfill in the prime of life.
I could not bear to face such an end...
I was screaming inside, the agony, the pain...
the misery... what worse tragedy could there?
“Flap, flap, flap went the garbage can cover.
Then darkness.
So this was it.
The End.
DEATH.
Silence.
A long, interminable silence.
not even a cricket chirping...
Death.The lights dimmed.
It was the end of the shift. A young worker came to take out the trash.I was then plucked out with all the other unused ketchup packets.
In my despair I did not even notice,
until we were all in the back seat of a Volkswagon
listening to blink-182 vibrate the polyethelene upholstery...
We soon discovered were to be a part of a work of art-
a ketchup-packet bear for a party that weekend...
After much hammering and gluing, I was placed onto the bear,
and guess who was glued in place right next to me?
YES! You guessed it!
The packet of my dreams!
Oh, the joy I was in! Love, on a true work of art!
We were reunited against all odds!
I was so happy!
Then the party began fine enough,
We were the center of attraction...
We were the pièce de résistance!
Maybe we would end up on display for all of posterity...
a permanent fixture at the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art...a testimony to the loving nature of our culture,
being photographed with countless tourists and their adoring children,
bringing smiles to many a photo album...
then a couple of rowdies got bored...
First the smoke alarmed us, then the heat terrorized us...
then the heart-pounding realization that the end was at hand.Our lives were over.
I held my love close. We shared a last gaze, deep into each other’s eyes,
the longing, the sorrow...Our ketchup mingled, and we finally dripped together, down...
then it happened- a person took a finger
and sampled us... together...
into the mouth went both of our essences...
the moist tongue, the licking lips...
They say there is a special place in Heaven
for ketchup packets who have found true love...
My last thought in life?
I could only consider myself more fortunate than most other packets
discarded without ever having been opened,or tasted, or mingled with the flavor of another packet-
i could only bleed for those who had never found the truest essence of love...
Author notes
here's a better image of that periodic table, courtesy of MIT... web.mit.edu/dr yfoo/www/Info/ condiments.htm l
Written February 3rd, 2006
In a list
- Love Era- Romantic Comedies • next in list
- Love Era- General Pieces • next in list
- Picture Book • next in list
- Short List- Ever Changing With Time and Moods • next in list
A contest entry
- Prewrite Mania for MY FAVORITES!!!!!!!!! by Celticmoon.
700 points, ended November 2, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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Wayne,
I just knew when I saw your name on the list that I would be confront with a truly unique write. Your imagination never ceases to amaze me. Where you find your inspiration for such piece as this leave me wondering much...lol The sad sad life of a ketchup packet has brought to life by the only person who could have truly done it justice. There is not another poet on this site that I know that could have pulled this one off like you have here. It made me smile, chuckle and even had me sigh with a bit of swelling within my eyes. Loved this one big brother! Thank you for entering and good luck!
Blessings
Bel
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Hmmm... what did I expect? Interesting philosophical question... maybe just a little smile, and a tragic tear!
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r u kidding me!!??? omg! it was funny and interesting. i am speechless! no words could express what i thought about it. srry da i know u were hoping for a 'wow this is great' kind of comment, but i have nothing to say. i still luv ya!
~Netta~ -
You're quite welcome, Porcelain daughter of mine! Now go to sleep smiling for a change!
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Wow... that's different *chuckles* Thanks for the link, I enjoyed this
~Amy
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Awwwww!! This was beyond cute.
My dear newly found uncle, what an imagination you have! *sigh* ketchup packets...
The poor little things, I'll probably never be able to look at them quite the same again.
Thanks for the giggle
Christine
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thank you, autumn, glad you liked it and the tragic-happy ending... hope at least you were inspired a bit!
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that made me cry. i'm really emotional today. lol. but i like this. awesome!!! lol. i wish i was a ketchup packet.....
love autumn
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thanks, Papoos, glad you liked my ketchup packet tragedy!
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thanks, naburu, for the comment on my ketchup packet love story!
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thanks for the comment on my ketchup packet tragedy, mouse poet!
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thanks for the comment, theo, on my tragic ketchup packet piece! What gave me the inspiration, probably the thought of an unused ketchup packet being thrown out! lol
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thanks for the comment, Nikki, on my ketchup tragedy!
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thanks, loventutu, for the comment on my ketchup packet love tragedy!
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thanks for the comment, Mairi, glad you enjoyed my little ketchup packet piece... the poor little laddy!
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Thanks, Tai, for the comment on my ketchup packet piece... glad you were feeling for the poor little tragic lovers!
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thanks for the comment on my ketchup packet piece, muncher!
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I'm glad you liked my ketchup packet love piece, Ms. Nightmare!
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thanks, my bright angel!
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thanks sis... I'm probably spending time I DON'T have! lol at least not until May...
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Bro'....you have definately got waaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy too much time on your hands Too cute you silly goof!!! Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Lyrical
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WOW..> This is really cute!!! I really like this one ap dad!!! Great job!!! Just do you know, I stole the periodic table pic... I thought that would be a funny one to post in my classroom...
Keep up the great work!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
I am very glad you enjoyed the life story of this ketchup packet, Meleeana!
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That is a very amazing thing, I do not think I have ever seen anything of the like. Although I guess I've just never looked. You managed to make me laugh with this ^.^.
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This honestly just blew my mind . . . I don't know what to say except . . . wow . . .
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four *
i have to say thatthis is one of the most bizarely brialliant poems i have read great way at looking at life through an what could only be desribed as genius metaphor (if that is what you were trying to do, again maybe just my interpretation jon -
wow. I can waste a lotta time on this matter. Ver yfunny stuff. Would you like a recipe for Michigan sauce (main ingredient, you guessed it, Catsup) I would love to use your border sometime, if you do not mind.
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*laughs* This was great. I was actually feeling sorry for the ketchup at one point, which either means this is a very good piece, or that I'm mad. I think we'd both prefer the former theory.
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This was about the most imaginative piece of work I have read in ages. Witty from end to end, and yet as tragic as a Hans Christian Anderson story! Absolutely brilliant, and a lovely set of visual images to go with it.
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very descriptive piece, never thought of a packet of ketchup in this way. ha ha ha, very funny. The background is working nicely as well. Keep writing, I love to read. Loventutu/love inspires me
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Very interesting topic... the life of a packet of ketchup.
haha. I wish I'd thought of it first. Way to go/ -
well, it was different, but really very well written, cute how you could put yourself in to the eyes of a ketchup packet, what on earth gave you the inspiration to write this in the first place, i wonder. cute and funny.
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This was excellent. I really like the life story of a ketchup packet. I'm glad I'm not one, though. Very well written.
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This was so amusing! I really enjoyed it. It was just the thing I needed to get my attention off of other things. Thanks.
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glad this one hit close to home, dark idle one!
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thanks, suseann, the life, love, and death of a ketchup packet... yes... the drama!
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Awh Wayne.You need to remember.All the less fortunate packets stomped by school age children.Oh the humanities! What horror!This were cute!~~~~~Suseann
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thanks, windsong... yes, I remember I used to call myself a wise and knowing one! The perodic table was pure luck in my research... very educational it was, so I thought I'd throw it in!
Edited on Feb 03, 11:15 p.m. because ''. -
I hate ketchup it's ucky and gross. This on the other hand was tasteful and elegant. It reminded me of a mad lib smashed in with the joke about the life of a candy bar. Is there mustard in your future? I think so. One question oh wise and knowing one where did you find the periodic table done with the condiments? Very funny!
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Delicious
You were right, the finished form is even better! I still love this poem, so take everything I said about it and put it: here
Edited on Feb 03, 9:03 p.m. because ''. -
WOW! pictures!
even better!
yay!!!! -
Awwww. I would of sucked him dry. I love sucking ketchup packets, kinda like the kid from Big Daddy did.
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HOLY CRAP! That was great! LOL!
Really, how do you come up with these things?
Love it!
-Reni. -
Now even more "how did you come up with this?"! The pics as well are just superb. You could probably make big bucks on eBay by selling some of your sources.
Brilliant!
Christina
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