A happy day, a happy day
When Piper charmed the rats away
(Though tragic, tragic was the morrow
When Piper called, and children followed!)
Now, though Mayor's lost the town's affection,
He somehow rigged his re-election!
His pettifogging rule still waxes
With piffling bye-laws, soaring taxes!
Piper! Hear Hamelin's supplication:
Rid us of Mayor and Corporation!
Author notes
Thank you for opening your competition to pre-written work. Even in legend, "City Hall" can be.... well, we all know what it can be...!
A contest entry
- Fractured Fairy Tales by befearless247.
307 points, ended July 22, 2006, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Non Winning Pre-Write/End line Rhyme Only by piccola.
600 points, ended April 12, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want your view. by coffeeangel316.
425 points, ended June 16, 2008, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Song by Shya.
690 points, ended June 20, 2008, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ended November 9, 1072 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please do not feel obliged to comment - and if you do comment, please understand that it may be some time before I can get back to you.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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It's a good and creative poem. Line 5 seems to have too many syllables, though, and the flow isn't perfect. I love the vocabulary... "pettifogging", "piffling".... thanks for entering.
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I like this tale it is a great rhyme. what a wonderful tale.
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Nice rhyme and great tale. I think the last line needs some work, to make the flow smooth. A syllable counter might work because for me, the last line seems too long. Could be my reading though? Thank you for the entry
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Yes, I would consider Pied Piper a fairy tale.
Nice work!!! I really enjoyed this piece. You stuck to the story, but added a little of your own on to the end. I also LOVED your rhyming! None of it was forced, and all of it just added that much more to the flow and feel of the poem. Thank you so much for entering this contest. Best wishes.
-Chantelle -
NICE...Good Job. Thanks for your entery
!
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Bazza- indeed, it has a political subtext... I have had to witness too many rigged elections - and their aftermath - in my time... and another highly undemocratic one coming up on 19 March... And, alas, no Piper to charm that particular "rat" away...
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good
i like this it has a good rhyme to it which has worked very well,well done,keep on writting,peace out -
Well done. I like it
A very interesting twist on a very old story but I sense a modern day political theme that fits quite well.
Adding your comment:
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