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CandyLand

In a world swirled in dreams
Drizzled with confectionate creams
Living in Candy coated perfection

Sweet crystals of sugar
Chocolate spewing the streets
I've had enough of these Intolerable sweets

Through with the pure
Just give me a cure
My smile is rotting away

Breaking through the surface
Coated with your treats
Now thats enough I admit my defeat

Frosted designs, imprinted screams
This Candy Land home has shattered my dreams
No more swirls and sprinkles for me
I'd rather deal with rEaLiTy

Author notes

I was up late, and I began to compose this peice and thought that it was a good concept. I'd love to see someone else try this concept as well and see their results.
Written January 29th, 2006

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Candy Morphine
    December 23, 2008
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    this idea is great, i would have prefered a bit more depth but its definatly good.


  • shiratikva
    December 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like the structure of the poem and rhyme.
    You like a sweets, looks like


  • brian180
    April 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hahaha that is one of the gnarliest poems ever.it is soooooooooooooooooooo deep.one of my favorites now.sweet.lol.i like how there is a hidden meaning not just candy but life and love.you must be a professional poet because this is a really really great poem.


  • B00psi3
    June 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    high-quality

    You did a good job of wording your thoughts. You are very talented. Applauding this one! ļ


  • Hidden Phoenix
    May 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love the way you wrote this, candy coated perfection never lasts, reality goes on forever, I want to deal with reality 2. That way u no what is waiting for you.


  • xSorrowsxHarmonyx
    January 31, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    *smiles* Reality can be very sour, but sweets make you sick. I like your concept here very very much. (did this have anything to do with the pixie sticks making you sick? ) Lol. Great write I really do love it. Keep it up!!!

    The subconcious voice you ignore...

    NightmaricLuxuria


  • StoneColdAssassin
    January 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Great right, love! I really like how you altered your rhyming...keep writting your an amazing poet.

    ~†Nina†~


  • mystic oceania
    January 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting.....Glad your writing. I liked it.
    ~mystic

1 - 8 of 8