by ~Gregg Rowe~
Tonight, angels arrive --
Like cats who steal my breath --
When I peacefully sleep,
And dream of afterlife --
In my abyss so deep.
Tonight, angels arrive --
After my candle burns
At both ends, -- shadow life
-- and I demand my G-d:
Show me internal light!
Tonight, angels arrive --
On ethereal air,
Take ’way mine -- raked through coals
Embrace in silver light --
To greet them, floats my soul --
Tonight angels arrive --
Their light pierce my ice eyes:
Pain is reality --
Released: Now freed -- accept --
See my mortality.
Author notes
* To Write A Monchielle (Monchielle)
by Starhiker
allpoetry.com/Column/1616570
If you decide to write a Monchielle of your own, I would be honored if you put "Monchielle" in the title of your poem, and add the following to the Author's Comment:
Many of you may not be familiar with a Monchielle, it is a form that Starhiker created... A Monchielle is as such; first line repeats in each stanza, four stanzas in total, consisting of five lines, each of six syllables, and lines three and five rhyme. The pattern is "Abcdc Aefgf Ahiji Aklml"...
An Example of a Monchielle
Sticks and Stones (Monchielle)
by Starhiker
allpoetry.com/Poem/1694407
Monchielle
A Collection by Starhiker
allpoetry.com/list/23837
Contest: Write in a new form: Monchielle
by abstract dreamer
melody.allpoetry.com/Contest/1776228*
Written January 29th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Write in a new form: Monchielle by poetryality.
400 points, ended January 31, 2006, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Hi Gregg,
I already know why you write; G-d, and understand.
The angels are there for you, to keep, and comfort you my love. You keep listening for the flutter of their wings. This is well written for your first Monchielle. You have mastered the form with this entry. I thank you so much for supporting the challenge. The best to you.
Much Love,
Renee
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Powerful
Gregg, this is definitely a trophy contender and it moves me to tears. Blessings and best wishes, ¢¾ richard ♥
Edited on Jan 30, 3:11 p.m. because ''. -
This is an excellent piece. You've represented dying very well in this poem. In a few words, you described someone going from deep pain, to peace. This would be a very pieceful thing to read if you are going through terrible pain. Good work and keep writing.
-
Jim: Thank you for the heads up on my syllable count and that I had the opportunity to repair it before the contest closes. I appreciate the guidance very much.
And now...
are you ready?
Why There Is No 'O' In My 'G-d'
by lordoftherings*
allpoetry.com/Poem/1294961
Edited on Jan 29, 1:47 p.m. because ''. -
Gregg, you are more than welcome to fix it, as long as you do it before the contest closes, either by date, or by maxing out on the number of entries. I will look over your poem again...
Wow! Now it's great, Gregg! You've managed to fix it, and make it a true Monchielle! You would have yet another applause from me if I could give it to you! I will try to find a way! 
I wish you best of luck in the contest! 
Jim
Btw, why don't you spell out God?
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Jim: Does this mean that I cannot try to fix it before the contest closes or once it has been entered, you consider it the final? Just curious, because I have gone through it and think to the best of my knowledge have repaired the lines you mihgt have been talking about. Anyhow, it was great to try the form since I am always saying I will try anything once just to say that I tried it. Hope the second try that I sent you is more up to par. gregg
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Hi, gregg! Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem, I loved the rhymes, and the story it tells, but I am afraid it does not qualify as a true Monchielle, as it at several places breaks the rule of six syllables per line... Also, why don't you spell out God?
Well, you have my applause for a great poem! Jim
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Beautiful poem
I liked the form you used here, interesting topic too 
I liked your use of alliteration and simile here
Keep writing you used the form well
All the best
Pozo
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Captain Suicide: I don't not know if Rebeka sent you a copy of her interpretation of the line, but there is a good one on the site where the poem is posted by her.
Another interpretation comes from the Horror/Supernatural Genre of writing. Edgar Allen Poe and Stephen King are just two examples who use this to scare the frights out of their readers. In the myth of supernatural (probably dating back to the days of the Egyptians where cats were sacred), if a cat stole in your room at night and you were discovered dead the next day, the myth states that the "cat stole his breath (spirit) away". The myth lived on when people awoke to find their cats napping on their chests and "stealing the exhaled breath off the sleeper".
I definately recommend that you indulge in an old-fashioned tale by Edgar Allan Poe and a modern tale by Stephen King and you will forever remember this line!
gregg -
if i may, the line about cats stealing breath away...
this is an common old farm saying i have heard all my life, cats love cream or milk, and this saying comes from when babes laying in cradles were often visited by farm cats and the cats would lick or 'kiss' at the babe due to the fragrance of the milk...and hence folks would think the cat was suffocating the babe...at least that is my version of it, some would argue it is a myth that a cat would rob the babe of it's breath, but there are those who have a fear of cats being around babes for this very reason.. it is incredible to me that someone has never heard of that myth or saying...perhaps the Captain should expand his reading.
wonderful poem Gregg, it is like a vine that has grown with beauty in and out of the thoughts of a aged soul. you never cease to create art. -
I like your poem b'cus it talks about the after-life, a topic I'm interested in studying about......anyways good poem...hope to read more of your poems soon
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