Loreli
The lady was prayer
her skin a softer shade of moonlight
alluring was her hair
jet black blending with the color of midnight
... She was my queen!
the fire of dawn unleashed time and faded her away
do not the gods trust of my belief?
They come! like a thief in the day
Loreli was her name and her soul
no other love could have born so much grief
half of my essence has now hardened to cold
they took her away and left Me to breathe
Arroganon, Valossus and the lesser gods always plotting
for ways to leave some flesh for the wasteland rottings.
Forsaken...
Forsaken and bound to the thoughts of a corpse
lost in a nightmare of nothing
and everything all at once
the Old Ones are turning the screws
tightening our boundaries to break
Then they will come to deliver the news
everything that we believed was a great mistake
Be mindful of whispers out of nothing
with the hair on your arms to raise
be careful of what you wish for
Oh!..the things we have the power to create
The fourth age is about to breathe
...and the lamb, having broken the final seal, unleashed the Ancients back unto their feeding grounds.
The most foul of among the old ones
far more ancient than the earth herself
an eater of flesh treading the eons
spitting an endless torrent of morbid filth
berserk as he watches from the inside
grinding teeth with anticipation, thirst
the behemoth is ready to fly
and what flesh that drops is of no concern
licking its' bloody talons with angelic satisfaction
after feeding on a human mind
leaving nothing behind except wet and swollen fragments
no room on earth for such of his kind
A colossal winged madness does lye in wait
licking its' lips for the feast of the fourth age.
find me in my field of heads
walking around talking
speaking blissful verse to the pretty girls
but no one seems to be smiling
I was born of blasphemy
a child of a man and a rape
their eyes refuse to see with me
their voices broken mouths agape
could so many be so selfish?
perhaps they ponder treachery!
a scheme the devil himself would find hellish
I had to drop to my knees and plead
Get away from me!
...all of you who are there
inside of me
Get out of me!
Darkness smooths them out!
, the twisted empty faces,
Consuming the noxious light
, molding a softer replacement.
Yet, the dark holds the terrible chill,
Those wicked forms wading,
, waiting to step out from within the putrescence
, hoping to tear through the skin of your soul.
Then will come the horrible breathing,
A deep long drawn pant of intention
The sound of hunger for something alive and feeling
Only one use though, for the fodder of vengeance
…as I looked up and out into the darkness
, the winged behemoth threw the young boys head to the ground
…the beast smiled and flew off, leaving the boys head to rot among thousands… in fields of heads.
The Moon...
the great and terrible egg
preparing to hatch
within the center of the fourth age
this time is beginning now
to make our foxhole vows
in the midst of a blackening sun
we! the children of the marsh
have come to this; shunning the purest of sounds
watching brothers...sisters starving in the dark
we are running from the death of which we've crowned
when there are no more babes born of woman
we, the slaves of ego will near the center of the fourth age
...we will then pray to be...no more
So hidden is it
you would probably not live to see
all of the ages of man
tattooed below its' fleece
eyes that are those of the first face
skin; the color of pitch night
the devil, neither man nor beast
the most ancient and unholy of its' kind
it is a molting of all things organic
he was the first created by God to lead
now a brewing stew of hate and residue satanic
he was once the most precious Bede.
The Devil, he who broke the chain of Heaven
the beast...the lord Armageddon
I am a destroyer...without my Loreli.
Author notes
Written January 28th, 2006
A contest entry
- Insanity Glows in the Dark... by Kiwi Grimm.
300 points, ended August 11, 2006, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - FAVORITE PREWRITES by stylization.
550 points, ended October 10, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Woah. This is absolutly amazing. There's so much amazing imagery here, and the story is exceptionally well-told. Great write, thanks for entering!
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Thank you very much...
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Peace my friend!
wolf
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I must say that this poem was so intense that it needed to be read again and again so it could actually be digested. Your writing is amazing. You have delivered a piece that says so many things. I could actually imagine that the devil had taken possession of your heart here and was leading you right through. Loreli is such a beautiful name that in itself conjures up in my mind an angelic person with a soft music playing in the background. There are many things in life that can cause one to lose themselves, one being losing your soul mate. I was absolutely fascinated with how you pieced this all together and my favourite part of this was 'The moon, the great and terrible egg preparing to hatch within the centre of the fourth age.' wonderful. I also like how you used the testiment to the end of days to add even more drama to the piece. You certainly did a great job on this early piece of writing and i congratulate you.
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Beautiful
A well written piece. I always like writes about the mythical. Keep writing
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i looked in the overview and thught stuffthat but noticed presentation! i did nt read the poemk as it was way too longm for me right now but the work seemed ify
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VERY NICE, I love this. Great write, I can tell you wrote this straight from your heart. Good luck in the contest!
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The most foul of among the old ones
far more ancient than the earth herself
an eater of flesh treading the eons
spitting an endless torrent of morbid filth
berserk as he watches from the inside
grinding teeth with anticipation, thirst
i really love this part of the poem, the description is beyound amazing, this is a great piece of work and i am glad to have read it
again great work
laurax -
The first line is definitely going on my favourite quotes list:
"The lady was prayer"
It's so...poetic. This poem is superb...nice rhyming, GREAT descriptions. Nicely done. Keep quilling! -
Thank you, your comment is appreciated!
~wolf~ -
Chilling/yet beautiful
Wow!!! This one was long, but worth the read! I liked the flow of it, and you used great wording and expression! I loved the imagery too! Very haunting and chilling!Great write!Thanks for entering it and for sharing it with me!HUGZ
Take Care and keep writing brilliantly!
~Terri Anna~ -
Oh my, this was truly a captivating piece. Beautifully told, my friend.
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Thank you very much for the kind words my friend. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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applause!
WHOA! I think that this piece knocked the wind out of me with its imagery, its detail, its pure emotion...all of that! You have used mythological god's and what they have done...and at the beginning, gave this piece the feeling of Edgar Alan(sp?) Poe's, "Annabelle Lee" piece. Towards the end, it seemed as though you were portraying yourself as the devil, using the decomposed bodies that were buried 6 feet under for the strength of your vengeance. Keep up the great work! I think that HunteroftheDusk will love this piece...it looks trophy-worthy to me! -
Thank you for the comment. I'm glad you liked it!
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Good
That was good. Real imagination. I agree that too many people don't read long poems. It is not about the size only the content. -
Thank you!
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am glad you enjoyed it. Most people are put off by the length because reading seems too much of a task nowadays for some. -
a good piece, epic in its proportions, some very good imagery within the lines, dark and light swirling together. the moon will bring madness.
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Most Excellent
Forsaken and bound to the thoughts of a corpse
lost in a nightmare of nothing
and everything all at once
Wolfie...this is a wonderful write. Lots of vivid images and feelings. I love the above lines...they speak so deeply to my soul. Great job and good luck in the contest. -
Hello. The first thing that I would say is that I really like the end. When you say,
"I am a destroyer...without my Loreli."
It ties everything together.
I also like the imagery, things like
"The Moon...
the great and terrible egg
preparing to hatch
within the center of the fourth age"
paint a clear picture of your pain and rage.
You describe with such emotion how losing Loreli made you feel lost, crazy, desperate, and full of anger. This is a deep poem, and I agree with PiedPiper that this is haunting and intense.
Thank you for entering!
-Meg
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Breathtaking
Haunting and intense. Rich and vivid imagery and fantastic use of phrase and language. Captured me at a first line and held my attention throughout.
I'd love to know the inspiration and background to this masterpiece.
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