Life presents a dismal picture
from the cradle to the tomb;
Father's got an anal structure,
Mother's got a prolapsed womb.
Uncle Ted is being deported
for a homosexual crime;
Sister Millie's just aborted
For the forty-second time.
Now she's got another started,
Well and truly up the spout.
Aunty Ednah has just farted,
Blown her arse-hole inside out.
Ours is not a happy household
No-one in it ever smiles.
Mine's a mournful occupation:
crushing ice for grandpa's piles.
_________
Author notes
Written January 28th, 2006
A contest entry
- Sadness and depression by She Stole My Voice.
425 points, ended December 14, 2006, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shattered Hearts Held Together by Silly Rabbit..
300 points, ended January 15, 2007, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Slough of Despond... dark poetry contest by gasolinequeen.
550 points, ended February 10, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Melancholy by neitherherenorthere.
300 points, ended February 15, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and Depressing...Please enter by XHollowXEyesX.
700 points, ended April 6, 2007, 119 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cry, Cry, Cry by wat2do.
360 points, ended April 27, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Suicide--- whatever +eye roll+ by Rizzo-in-the-box.
600 points, ended July 1, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me laugh by lilblueeyesmine1978.
425 points, ended September 20, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To say goodbye by BleedingBlackTears.
600 points, ended December 3, 2008, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - modern depression by Dangerousparable.
900 points, ended January 9, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotional Wreck by ToxicSuicide.
750 points, ended January 11, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Well lets say I can see where this would make a depression bout come around just not sure it fits this contest I think I'll give you another chance to enter another if you would like but this one will be removed
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This is great. Some parts really made me laugh, I especially loved,
"Aunty Ednah has just farted,
Blown her arse-hole inside out."
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
~ToxicSuicide. -
im not sure i get it,but it doesnt sound to happy..good job.
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loved this
I love this. It truly describes a wonderfully american family in real life yeah right. I loved the way it rhymed. It made me laugh and it is being added to the finalists list. -
Thanks for entering and best of luck to you. Sorry for the weird comment. Mod hazzard
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this poem is a good and diffrent way of expressing anger and pain i like it tho
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what a different way of expressing your hate towards life.. although I found it more of a humourous story or limmerick. but very well written none the less.
thansk for entering and goodlcuk -
I agree, I found this piece to be rather humorous. It depicts frustration but in a way that makes it seem amusing at the same time. I enjoyed reading it... thanks for sharing, and best of talent in the contest!
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I don't really get this. I've read the past comments and it's all about emo. Whatever.
Good job. Keep up the good work, take care, and keep on writing. Good luck in my contest and thank you for entering.
~Princess of Shadows~ -
more humor than dark, but good work anyway. thank you
~kyo-kun~ -
I really liked reading this. It's very relatable and appealing to the reader. I just clicked "random" and this is the poem that came up. =D Talk about a coincidence, huh? lol. Just weird that it'd jump to this one rather than ANY other poem on the site. But seriously, back to the poem.
lol.
It held my attention from beginning to end, which it was hard to do, not to mention the nice form and flow. You kept the imagery strong the whole way through. Great job!
I liked these lines:
Life presents a dismal picture
from the cradle to the tomb;
Father's got an anal structure,
Mother's got a prolapsed womb.
Uncle Ted is being deported
for a homosexual crime;
Sister Millie's just aborted
For the forty-second time. -
It is not entirely original. It is an old folk-song somewhat adapted. There are many versions.
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this is... interesting, i really like it. it's funny as hell, but sad at the same time. however, curiosity propels me to ask if this is original or not, the comments up there sonfused me... anyway, thanks for the entry, and best of luck.
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I am not sure this poem fits my contest, since I wanted things to be original but thanks for entering.
Rivkah -
What a very peculiar attitude to poetry you have.
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Ha.
no.
Some people write poetry
so they can get their emotions
out. And you seem like the type
of person who doesnt care about
anyone but themself. So as for the
self centerness, you are the only
person I see that is. I agree, that
this site does have some cliche poems
about their 'crimson tears scarring their
life.' But poetry is all about emotion. -
even though it is not your original work it is a good old folk song, thank your for entering it into my contest, is a good piece. best of luck!
xxdeepdarkcradlexx
Edited on Apr 22, 8:20 because 'mistakes'. -
Much enjoyed! Keep it up!
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nice work not quite what im looking for though
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Let's just say I've had my share of life-altering experiences and came out the other side. I'd hate you to see what I was writng aged about 20!
But there was fortunatly no internet then! -
Very funny.
I am not big on scatalogical writing, but this is funny anyway. I just hope you never have a life-altering experience and decide to drown us in drivel. I would be forced to remind you of this.
Fortunately, though, I'm sure that will never happen to you. -
I gather "Emo" is a term for emotionally uncontrolled poetry, which some people find a virtue.
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Emo is that related to emu? Ok don't answer that I enjoyed this so thanks for posting. and Happy anniversary, I had my 20th a couple of months back, yes they are frustrating, because a lot of good poetry gets lost and a lot of good poets too but i guess the site is free and everyone is entitled to their expressions however trivial... or then plain unadulterated drivel. But it is sad when it takes ages to discover a good poet, I found you through Rebeka
so hello and have enjoyed reading some of your new posts.
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Thank you. However it is not my original work. As I state at the bottom, it is an old folk-song. i posted it as a send-up of all the self-pitying rubbish posted on this site. Life is pretty ok with me, as I hope with you. The main problem is too much work. Today is my 20th wedding anniversary. Great happiness there.
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unexpected
the theme is rather different from your usual...actually this entire piece is pretty different....the rhyme and rhythme are were nicely executed. a couple phrase, or at least the imagery in them, have me somewhat confused, but consdering the theme i gguess it's better if i don't understand. just in regards to the style and all i liked this piece very much.
hope you've been well. peace be with you
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Very clever. I am guilty of writing from the heart, but I hope it is not emotion obsessed drivel. LOL I appreciate the satire in this and am glad I discovered you, so that I may add one more poet of diversity to my collection.
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One of the myriads who post on this site obsessed with their own emotions, and who think, apparently, that we may also be interested in them.
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what is an "EMO"?
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I'll just heave out of my deep depression and put my razor blade onto the desk next to me while i type this comment.
I can't say i'm totally innocent of not being a bit of an 'Emo' writer now and then but i always tried to put a bit of humour into it. I do agree that it is so tedious reading so much drivel, i just wish they would hurry up and get on with their wrist splitting!
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